Curious on others focus.

Dante2Dante2
in General

Just curious. Many people seem to be looking for a buddy to become a cuddle partner. Myself I joined for the physical contact. That isn’t to say I won’t be open to friendship but the intent for me if the occasional cuddle as I currently don’t have access to it. That is positive when I hire a pro we are there to cuddle without having to carry on a conversation.

  1. What is you focus on the site?49 votes
    1. Cuddling
      46.94%
    2. Friendship
        2.04%
    3. Friendship into cuddling
      14.29%
    4. Cuddling into friendship
      36.73%

Comments

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited June 2021

    I don't mind if someone doesn't want my friendship, though I'd still need to build rapport with the person.

    Edit: Though in such a case I'd need there to be clear boundaries where we pretty much just talk about things regarding cuddling and wouldn't want to delve into other conversations with the person. I will not give someone the treatment of a friendship without the effort of one and accepting the lable of it.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    For me it started first with cuddling / than cuddling into friendship / & now friendship

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    Your poll needs a 'None of the above' option since you cannot focus on any of the listed things until you've met someone.

  • Dante2Dante2

    Thank you all for voting. I am I bit surprised, it seemed to me that many were more focused on bonding. Although it is a small sample size I gives me perspective.

  • I_Am_Not_A_CatI_Am_Not_A_Cat

    To me the focus is cuddling, but the majority of times I seem to end up befriending people for things unrelated to cuddling (ie. One I've taken a few times to explore abandoned buildings), both pro and regular members. I just chalk it up to being interesting and not being creepy.

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)
    edited June 2021

    I think if I am going to have a regular cuddle buddy there needs to be a casual friendly connection, but I’m not looking for friendships. That being said I have one cuddle buddy with whom the laughter and banter between cuddles via text is so much fun. So with that person I am very thankful for the friendship.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    Not to be too obvious but cuddling is a human bonding behavior.

    It’s not terribly surprising that you would become friends with those you cuddle.

    Evolutionarily speaking, that’s the point: Forming social bonds and strengthening the group connections.

  • [Deleted User]cualtzin (deleted user)

    Cuddling and Friendship go hand in hand. Even with a pro, with whom contact may be more limited. I couldn’t cuddle with her long term unless I considered her a friend on some level. Otherwise it just seems so mechanical to me. 🤖

  • pmvinespmvines

    I've not cuddled or met anyone from here who I didn't already have a connection with in one way or another

  • herby357herby357
    edited June 2021

    The answer to the question depends on one's approach. I would have clicked the "therapeutic" box had it been given as an option. I've seen quite a few posts in this forum where folks express sadness, depression, anger etc. when their cuddle relationship ends with both pros and enthusiasts.

    Cuddling, visiting with a psychologist/talk-therapist, and even massage therapy are all forms of holistic healing for me, providing a space where I allow myself to be vulnerable in ways I otherwise would not.

    In my personal experience, crossing any client/provider boundary inevitably leads to transference or emotions that should not come into play in a platonic relationship.

    It's truly a conundrum for many in our cuddle community.

  • Melomaniac9Melomaniac9

    I myself have to connect before I let another human into my personal bubble.
    But I’m thinking after reading the comments would it be beneficial to treat this as pure therapy and not form a connection?
    This is where being an empath is detrimental for me.

  • [Deleted User]Saysoh (deleted user)

    I'm empath. I see people cry, I immediately cry. Someone tells me they're having a hard time, I feel their pain because I've been through hard times. I'm not dealing with the best situation in life right now and I just miss human interaction. Loneliness just isn't about missing being in a relationship, but as simple as just eye contact. I've never hired a cuddler before but I'm about to.

  • sillysassysillysassy
    edited June 2021

    Welcome to the site Mr. @Saysoh 😊😊😊 What a beautiful way of putting it.....

    Even just as simple as eye contact.

    100% agree with @pmvines but the best part of CC is that EVERYONE has a chance of getting exactly what they want.

  • herby357herby357
    edited June 2021

    @Melomaniac9 my cuddle connections have been pretty amazing. I usually seek out pros with a holistic healing or medical background because we're often on the same page transactionally. Before getting together we talk about each other's sense of boundaries, and also spend a significant amount of time discussing one another's sensibilities on the the types of attraction.

    Aesthetic attraction is a key factor for me. In bringing this up in my pre-session conversations, I've been reassured that its not unusual, and moreover, nothing to feel bad about. Then we get into sensual touching vs. sexual touching. Followed up with each other's idea of how we can be intimate, but in a non-romantic way given how our hormones ramp up as we cuddle. I 100% of the time adjust my thinking to partner's sensibilities and boundaries. That's the beauty of platonic cuddling, there's zero expectation regarding romance or sex.

    I had a long-term massage therapist were there was a serious case of transference on my part. I felt so good after our sessions that my emotions got the best of me. We talked about it and agreed not to communicate for 6 months or so and are friends now. But I don't see her as a therapist anymore. That experience informed my process and expectations regarding platonic cuddling. Communication beforehand is key instead of trying to figure out your partner's expectations mid-cuddle simply because we both agree it's platonic.

    Lastly, cuddling has helped me find a new normal after experiencing years of personal emotional trauma as a caregiver for a sick and aging parent that has since passed away. I'm truly grateful to all my partners.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @Saysoh ~ Too bad we're so far apart. If not for that, I'd see if you wanted to get together... sigh...

    Wishing you the best in finding someone good for you, that's within a reasonable distance. 🤗

  • Melomaniac9Melomaniac9

    @Saysoh I feel you! A fellow empath sends you hugs.
    @herby357 i do like the holistic healing bit. I’m a reiki enthusiast as well. I’m not a professional but I do use it for family & friends if they permit it.
    I did an aura reading and my aura is green which kinda translates to a healer.
    Now being an empath makes so much sense.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @Saysoh damn sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time. Hope things light up for you soon. 🌻

  • ReiditronReiditron

    @Saysoh I've also hired pro cuddlers due to loneliness and it's been the best self-care I've done for myself. Highly recommend it!

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