What do you all think about traveling to another state for a cuddling session? The client wants to pay for the trip. Is that against companies rules and do you all think its safe. I am a bit hesitant of the idea.
It’s not against the rules as far as I can tell as long as you’re compensated for your time. The safety part is completely up to you and your judgment. We don’t know who’s giving you the offer and where you’re planning to go or what you’ve done to vet this person.
I would make absolutely sure they recognize and verbalize back to you what your boundaries are. In addition,
I second what @FunCartel said.
@hugonehugall I haven't done anything to vet this individual it was his first message to me, I haven't had contact with him before. Thank you for your advice. @FunCartel okay thank you, yes my instincts are thinking it is not the best idea. Thank you @bekah_cuddles
History teaches us that this kind of request is rarely genuine.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to criticize you, but, I took a look at your profile. You joined this month, and have zero karma. Therefore I ask the following questions for you to consider:
What makes you stand out to this potential client that makes them want to pay for you to travel out of state to see them given your lack of experience on this site? Have you been speaking to them for an extended time before the proposition was made? How far would you need to travel? Is there a shortage of cuddlers in the client's area that would require having someone travel to them? Would they be willing to travel to you instead? Does the idea make you feel unsafe?
Think about these questions and evaluate your answers. Then make an informed decision.
Best wishes.
@Mr_Cuddle_Bear makes some good points. What he is getting to is that you may appear an easy target for a ne’er-do-well because you are so new. I would use his questions and throw them back on the prospective client.
@CuddleDuncan I actually was staying at the Hotel Indigo three years ago (in the building that was the first bank ever in Texas) across from the Alamo. At 6 AM my windows rattled from the blast of muskets and cannons. Turns out the Texas Board of Tourism was filming a reenactment for a travel video. And here I thought I was a smart shopper and got a great deal on the suite overlooking the Alamo.
@FunCartel
[This post and the previous post technically belong in a different thread but no matter; move on people, move on.]
I agree with what the others are saying. I once had a person ask me to fly to Chicago for a week and he was acting very shady. I mentioned it on our pro- only forum and he had asked someone else the same exact thing. Just be careful, especially if they are also new and no karma.
@CuddleDuncan @FunCartel @Mr_Cuddle_Bear I appreciate all the feedback! Thank you for taking the time to get back to me.
Hey! Everyone else made some great points, and I would add a few: make sure your own accommodations are booked, try to see if you can reach out to anyone in the area, and tell them because the request is unusual, you may want to meet for coffee beforehand. I wish you the best of luck; trust your gut!
Thank you! @thesweetsnuggle
@RMarie I don’t see anything wrong with traveling out of state for cuddling, many pros are travelers here, but if you don’t feel right about it & 100% sure don’t do it, there are many wonderful pros here with experience who will give you so much valuable advice & suggestions based on this topic, I would reach out to them or hopefully they would reach out to you & tell you exactly everything there is to know all around, stay safe & happy cuddling : ) 🌌
@RMarie WELCOME TO THE SITE!!!!!!! There are such amazing bits of advice already and I think its supersmart of you to reach out here as well as in the Professional Threads. There is SO MUCH info in the threads on these topics and I am here to tell you as for the enthusiast part of the conversation.... @FunCartel is THE MOST AMAZING human I know who has traveled and booked lots and lots of pros. He has been on here for an extremely long time seen people come and go, seen people get hurt by others, and in general has a PLETHORA of experience and respect for the world of professionals and this cuddling idea/community in general. Speaking from the experience of getting to meet this OG in person..... He has your best interests in mind. I would also suggest exactly what he said in #5 ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS listen to your instinct as well as get opinions from everyone on here.
There's a lot of beautiful humans on this site but there are also plenty of people trying to take advantage on multiple levels.
Good luck to you sweet girl and I'm sending out so much girl power to give you extra good stuff for your journey. 💗
Thank you! @cuddles_ndream
@sillysassy girrrlll I loved what you had to say and thank you so much for the advice and encouragement! So glad to hear that @FunCartel has much experience, I will absolutely remember that for the future and all the others that have contributed their experiences. Your vibe and picture are radiant and made me smile huge! Much love!
@RMarie Awwwwwww So many HUGS!!!!! 💗💗💗🥰😊
Cuddling in a public place you feel safe at and know your way around?
Cuddling at his home and who knows, in the middle of nowhere?
Choosing a hotel you know well and feel safer at?
You also need to video call with the person and have a conversation. Don't rely on just yes or no questions, photos could be faked.
Make sure you have a way to get back on your own or someone you trust in that city to help get you back should you need to pay for your own. Have your own food and drinks and keep a super close watch on them.
If taking into account this feedback and all the others still doesn't put you at ease, then I'd suggest not going through with* it. You don't need ongoing stress and discomfort. Or he may make it over to your city if that helps.
@CuddleDuncan I am not sure whose history you are referring to that these cuddles are not typically genuine.
I have traveled out of state for 3 cuddles, all legit, all gave a deposit and all were great cuddles and are repeat cuddlers I still see to this day.
@RMarie if you vet properly and feel good about the communication and the vibe the cuddler gives you is up to par with YOU, make sure you get a deposit. If you vet and your gut instinct still feels uneasy then don’t do it. Cuddling is definitely not a think inside the box kind of thing because every single person searching for a cuddle is different. I wish you well with your cuddles and welcome to the world of cuddling!
@RMarie Ofcourse 🌌 ♥️☺️
@CreativeCuddles just added soo much value to this post, & this is why its best to listen to those who have traveled the road, versus the ones that think they know the road.
@CreativeCuddles a number of professionals have posted stories of bad experiences relating to such trips. Others have reported avoiding bad experiences by not going. Your happy experience - which is wonderful to hear about - appears to be less common.
@FunCartel the irony of a recent pic holding a newspaper. Not obsolete, but uncommon nowadays. Good advice though. I especially stress a friend or family expect a checkin from you at some point with follow up actions to take should you fail to.
I have had plenty of good experiences traveling out of town, but I require a nonrefundable deposit for all travel fees (if it's far enough, that includes overnight lodging), recent pictures, etc. If you don't look like your picture when we meet, I'm leaving.
Reputable hotels tend to give me more of a sense of safety, but still be prepared (bring a weapon of your choice, such as pepper spray, a baseball bat, a stun gun, etc.), share your location with a trusted friend, etc.
As an enthusiast I made myself a rule that I don’t cuddle people from out of town. People who are “just passing through” act like it. People who live here and you can follow-up with afterward tend to act with more integrity. It’s almost like a Vegas mentality. But you are Vegas —as my toddler would say “yuck yuck.”
Also: first message in to ask someone to travel to see them seems odd
Personal edit—my traveling cuddle experience was bad
@Chris55555 that is SUCH an interesting perspective.
For ME..... when I first started I ONLY wanted to talk with people who were far away and coming in from out of state. (Not if they were trying to come in just to see me because that's too much pressure) but when they were getting on a plane in a few days I could process and figure out my boundaries etc. I always thought that if they lived in the next town it might be more challenging if we didn't have a connection.... Personal edit.... My first out of state cuddler was a FABULOUS experience! We all have such different things going on don't we??
Thank you! @cookiecrumb @desi_babe @Chris55555
This from my perspective... Is the first time I hear a client paying for the server travel expenses. Nahhh this huge No No. If you travel that makes you vulnerable. If the client wants to cuddle, then the client is the the one who travel to your location with all expenses paid. Obviously putting your safety first.
This comes up often. Many members here touched base on concerns I have when it comes to out of state travel but here's a recent post I replied to that has a few points that should be considered.
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/comment/120659#Comment_120659
These are strangers we are meeting and should be treated just as cautiously as someone you'd meet off of say ... Craiglist. There are predatory members here who will absolutely try to take advantage of a new / inexperienced cuddler with lures of all expenses paid travel. Ask yourself why can't they find someone in their own backyard?
I travel to cuddle frequently but never travel to meet one person across the country or hours away from home. It's a financial and personal safety risk not worth the trouble.
Be safe! 🥰
I’d add that the deposit you collect should be great enough for you to be able to get back home in the event the prospective client bails on you. I occasionally travel for freelance work that I do (nothing related to cuddling) and make sure that I have enough $ up front that I’m not dependent on the client (or stuck paying out of pocket) to survive while I’m there or to get back home. Needless to say, be careful!! I agree with @Envie -- consider traveling to cities/states you want to visit anyway and arranging sessions with clients who are already there. Maybe save single-client travel for established clients you know and trust very well. Good luck!