If people want to money to throw at interstate cuddling, somebody needs to pick it up. In the Northeast of the United States, it might be necessary to cross state lines to meet your local cuddler. Apparently a lot of tristate cuddling happens around Manhattan.
" In the Northeast of the United States, it might be necessary to cross state lines to meet your local cuddler. Apparently a lot of tristate cuddling happens around Manhattan. "
Agree, but where she is in Texas would require a trip of probably 300 miles to get to the state border, nevermind where the ultimate destination would be. That's pretty much the same as driving from Manhattan to Richmond, VA
I’ve had some good experiences while traveling out of state. I try my best to travel as much in general but when I do, I post the dates and the major city I’ll be in so that I can set up some sessions there. Those of course wouldn’t require deposits or any additional accommodations.
Now as far as a cuddler stating they want to fly me out to their area, that’s are very rare & even then, still vet them! I would definitely require a deposit and apply that towards their services but they would need to financially cover the traveling expenses. Keep some money on you just in case.
I normally don't speak-up on these discussions, but I have to now. I disagree with @Envie, in her statement of "...Ask yourself why can't they find someone in their own backyard?...". For a lot of us the answer to this question is easy! --> there is no one in our own backyard! Many of us have to reach beyond our area to actually find anyone!
@nature700
There's a difference between looking for someone the next state over versus someone messaging a new member with no experience and promising to fly her across the country all expenses paid. She should definitely ask herself why can't they find someone more experienced and closer whether it's their backyard or within reasonable distance.
There are always exceptions but those are rare.
@Envie i have to side with you on this. Some guys do not totally comprehend the risks and the difference you pointed out is accurate.
@RMarie ,
Check his karma to see what others say about him. Also, how did he approach you with a cuddle request ? Was there something about it that made you ask questions ? Go with your gut and what you know.
@RMarie I have heard the same thing from other new cuddlers like yourself, and every time the person asking isn't legit. Go on the pro only forum and ask around , there are many good pros here who have been here a while and would be happy to help you navigate this sort of thing . I wouldn't take the advice of a non pro , particularly one who is one who uses pro services, as their opinion may be skewed by non shared experiences and non shared goals
@pmvines
Thank you! Pros who have experienced this common request know the drill. It's a scam or they expect way more than just cuddling. It's dangerous proposition that should be very carefully examined moreso than cuddling someone in your immediate area.
Traveling for across the country to meet with a complete stranger is high risk. There's a good chance they expect more and you're far away from the safety net of your friends/family and familiarity of the area. What if things go south? Do you have the finances to buy a bus / plane / train ticket home? Can you afford to pay for a hotel room on your own? Are you comfortable with figuring out on a whim how to navigate a large strange city with no transportation?
First and foremost ask why the hell this client wants to book someone hundreds of miles away when there's surely cuddlers much closer. You'll have your answer. ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
it is absolutely out of the question for me. I just do not need the risk. this is growing in popularity so there is bound to be at least 1 professional in their area so there is no reason to travel away from the place I have friends and family to call on to help me and that I am familiar with to get around.
"I wouldn't take the advice of a non pro , particularly one who is one who uses pro services, as their opinion may be skewed by non shared experiences and non shared goals"
I'm pretty sure most of us non-pros gave the same exact advice as the pros in this thread. Also, I'm pretty sure that the only "shared goal" of everyone commenting is the safety of the OP.
@Mr_Cuddle_Bear said:
I'm pretty sure most of us non-pros gave the same exact advice as the pros in this thread. Also, I'm pretty sure that the only "shared goal" of everyone commenting is the safety of the OP
I agree @Mr_Cuddle_Bear I thought the statement you responded to was pretty condescending considering the advice given was along the same lines as that as the pros. It is condescending because the basis for that assertion is pros are too stupid to discern good advice from bad. It is an assertion that also says listen to me not what all the other non-pros say. My guess is they didn’t read the thread completely and made huge assumptions.
Besides I gave my two cents and some pros agreed. Does this mean pros should never give advice when a non-pro asks for advice?
@Mr_Cuddle_Bear she is asking for advice re something that is specifically a phenomenon that pro women experience . That is why I recommended she seek their advice. A non pro male is not likely to have had this dilemma . And a male client who sees nothing wrong with asking a pro this kind question or who is clueless about the threat of safety and potential hazards a woman faces in these types of scenarios is not as likely to give advice based on shared perspectives. To me it just makes more sense to ask your peers . Nothing wrong with you or anyone else giving her advice since she asked. It just differs from my advice.
I wouldn’t.
Why isn’t this person making an appointment with someone closer?
Why don’t they travel to you?
It puts you in a very vulnerable position. And how would you charge? Suppose it were only for a weekend. Are they going to pay your travel expenses for getting there, your meals, your hotel, and your rate for 48 hours? That’s insane. How much time will they expect of you? Is your time your own the rest of the time?
If it were someone I already knew very well and trusted, then I might consider it as long as we had a clearly written agreement about expectations. If it were someone I didn’t know - no way.
I’m not a pro cuddler but I’m in a profession where we occasionally get similar requests.
I’d also be on the watch for scams. Don’t know if the pro cuddlers get this but folks in my profession do. The scam is that they want to book a bunch of your time, ask if you take credit cards. They do something like overpay, ask you to refund the overpayment. I don’t know the details of exactly how they rip you off but somehow they do. They do it to people renting out apartments, too.
"A non pro male is not likely to have had this dilemma ." True, but most of us are capable of assessing the dilemma and giving sound advice (as evident that the female pros agreed with us)
"And a male client who sees nothing wrong with asking a pro this kind question or who is clueless about the threat of safety and potential hazards a woman faces in these types of scenarios is not as likely to give advice based on shared perspectives." I neither see nothing wrong with this kind of request, nor am I clueless about the threat. (My acute awareness of threats is the reason my wife carries a [redacted] when she takes a subway in the middle of the night on her way home from work.) So, I (and most other male non-pros here) do not fit this category.
You are assuming most men are not smart enough to make a proper risk assessment and give good advice. This isn't a a situation where one needs to have a shared experience with the OP, it's basic common sense. She already knew something wasn't right with the situation and ALL the advice she got reaffirmed her gut feeling.
@Mr_Cuddle_Bear yeah I realize that. Not an argument. Asking peers when possible is typically the best option. You are personalizing this. I am making a general statement. I didn't say you were clueless about women's issues or dont care . I'm saying that there are plenty of non pro men who dont care and are clueless , and for that reason it is best to ask pro women about pro woman issues
Thank you @UCpaaHVg6u0 @Mr_Cuddle_Bear @BelizeanQueen @nature700 @Envie @FunCartel @Lev136 @pmvines @sage_wisdom @Babichev for the advice it is much appreciated!