Questions About Cuddling:

Do you think that in general people like to cuddle/touch others in the ways they wish to receive touch?

Is how you generally like to cuddle/touch moderately/vastly different from how you would like to receive it?

I am currently too inexperienced to answer those questions. So I'll leave it up to y'all to share your thoughts. 😊

Comments

  • I think there is usually a difference in what people want to give vs receive. For example, people often have a preference of being big spoon or little spoon. That said, I think we can also tend to project and assume that, for example, if I want a shoulder rub then the other person must want one too, so I should offer. Then it might come across like people equally want to give and receive the same things, but I think it's usually different.

  • Perhaps one aspect of this is a personality/needs thing?

    Such as the “5 Love Languages”?

    But perhaps it is more complicated than that.

  • Guilty! There's a lot of nonverbal communication that goes on, but I'm one who beforehand likes to talk about this dynamic, and to see if they're open to a back and forth of modeling by doing what we want.

    What I like about this, is it helps us both to be clearer in our asks (because words sometimes fail and all), and because sometimes they'll do something I otherwise wouldn't have known I liked. 💞

  • I love to play with my buddy’s hair and make circles on their back and play footsie too!
    I don’t like them so much playing with my hair but I love back scratches and being held tight like in a cocoon it just makes me feel safe & warm.

  • I Think this depends on the people involved. A bit of dialog ahead of time is always good. I found that in some cases, what a cuddler and I wanted was similar, if not the same as what we wanted to give. In other cases, there wer some differences. They were never unworkable though, and would, on occasion, add to our cuddling repertoire.

  • I do think that people tend to touch the way they like to be touched. What they sometimes forget is that we should touch other people the way they like to be touched. That is not always easy to do.

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