May be a stupid question but does simple platonic cuddling ever become sexual? I'm just assuming that people become attracted to each other occasionally especially if they lay together spooning more than once
Ever? What kind of answer do you expect? Do you think someone's going to say, "No, no platonic cuddle has ever in history turned sexual?" Obviously at some point some cuddle has become sexual.
That said, this site really is strongly focused on platonic cuddles, and you should go into your cuddles with the honest intention to keep it that way.
@CuddleWho
Chill, man. Take a deep breath. Relax
What is wrong with this forum? Seriously.
@Junior1975 There is an honest intention and then there is the attraction between the two participants. If the attraction is strong and provided there is permission by both parties then yes, a simple platonic cuddling can become sexual. Imagine this, you are holding a woman in your arms who is attracted to you as much as you are attracted to her. How can it remain not sexual? Important keyword here is: "Permission".
I guess the moderators are going to earn their keep today. Man, there is a huge spike in bullying on forums lately. It’s really unfortunate and if you’re new ….hey our community here is having a few bad days Maybe it’s the heat, droughts, pandemic upticks, something idk 🤷♂️
@CAKCy very well said.
There won’t be a problem spooning if you follow the CDC six inch distancing guidelines. Adjust the distance based on your natural gifts.
Saw the bullying towards @CuddleWho in the other thread and continuing here...mods deleted the thread but why not ban or suspend the offenders? Just sticking up for the little guy here I've been bullied my whole life.
@cuddles_ndream thank you but I would think, it should be common sense, no?
@jon5821 sorry to hear about the situations in your life. Visiting your profile page I see you have been here for awhile now. Sometimes this is how it goes unfortunately. The mods may or may not have already acted. Sometimes we know and sometimes we don't . Their job (s) here is at times truly thankless i think. I am so glad for the ones we have! But hey, thanks for being involved. Glad you are here.
@jon5821 ~ It was only closed. I'm not sure if the "offenders" have been contacted or not, but understand how seeing people jabbed at can be upsetting.
Just for reference, there's a 'flag' feature available on each post that may help to communicate your objection(s) to specifics directly. I don't know of it'll help, but at least that way the mods can be tracking incidents. 🤷♀️
thank you but I would think, it should be common sense, no? @CAKCy
As the saying goes - common sense isn’t common, especially here … ive seen people word for word say, “ive never, & would never be attracted to a cuddle partner here because it is against the T.O.S & that would be breaking the rules” … Yes! Just like that lol 😂
If you look through the forum right now at this moment , you will see some people who always find a reason to get offended, poking fun & joking about being offended, thereby insinuating their not the ones to get offended, it is hilarious 😅 , but knowing where you are helps you navigate the premise… so no, common sense is not a common thing here.
Tbh @CuddleWho said the truth in answering the OP’s question without any filter, he was a straight shooter with his answer, you were very thoughtful in yours & careful … but you both sent the same message : )
@cuddles_ndream ~
"If you look through the forum right now at this moment , you will see some people who always find a reason to get offended, poking fun & joking about being offended, thereby insinuating their not the ones to get offended, it is hilarious 😅
Fyi ~ My poking fun is not at all to insinuate I don't get offended, because I do (though it's more that I'm irked by someone continually missing the point). My poking fun is actually at myself for taking myself/my POV too seriously sometimes and for getting caught up in matters that are relatively trivial. Just wanted to make that distinction.
That is a huge assumption. Poking fun at being offended does not mean they never get offended. Everyone gets offended. Poking fun is to lighten the mood. Poking fun with others and being self-deprecating is more hilarious than thinking an assumption that everyone poking fun is hiding the fact that they get offended. Everyone gets offended once and awhile. To say otherwise is a lie.
@cuddles_ndream to use the TOS as an excuse to be a robot is absurd. The cuddling parties are adult individuals who can mutually consent to change the ground rules of the game. Important keywords: "Mutually consent"
Can you drive without a drivers license? Yeah, you're feet can still work the pedals regardless of that piece of plastic. Do things sometimes get a little risqué? Sure, you are two humans holding each other after all. Just use common sense and read your partner.
@CAKCy ~ I'm sure others will be able to elaborate on this even further... but it boils down to intent.
If your intent is to platonicly cuddle and that's it, then you are following the TOS.
If your intent is to cuddle and are hoping for more, then you are pushing the line of the TOS.
If you are looking to hook-up through cuddling, that is for sure against the TOS.
Obviously, two consenting adults can do as they will. But best to communicate that post-cuddle, than during, to ensure it's what you both really want. And to not do so using this platform as that too would violate the TOS.
Dear gods!!! @Libra0 "...read your partner"
No! No! No! ~ You get consent! Verbal consent!!!
@quixotic_life Unless your partner has an “I consent” tattoo. Then you can read your partner.
Exactly @CAKCy , & like it was pointed out earlier, “this site Is strongly focused on platonic cuddles”, I will take it a step further & say - it is solely focused on platonic cuddles / friendship … but to act like attraction & being fond of someone is something that is impossible, as if its a switch for you to turn on & off / is exactly that - absurd.
(Disclaimer: being attracted to someone does not equal to pushing and or disrespecting set boundaries or acting out of line, we are all adults & respect comes first as well as maintaining professionalism)
My 2nd disclaimer on a response , hope its not annoying, at this moment I can’t hire a PR team so I feel it’s necessarily to cover all potential bases.
@Junior1975: This site is for platonic cuddles only. If you choose a cuddle buddy who you find sexually attractive, your odds of getting turned on during the cuddle do go up. You have a number of options here to avoid violating the terms of service:
• You can pick buddies who you like platonically but would never be interested in sexually.
• You can pick buddies you run the risk of being sexually attracted to, and masturbate beforehand, change position if you get turned on during the cuddle and think of something else until it goes away, try to see your buddy as family, etc.
• You can strike up a platonic friendship, do and suggest nothing sexual, then realize some time after the first meeting that you're both interested in a non-platonic way, and carry on from there.
The main thing, as @CuddleWho and @CAKCy mention, is to keep your intentions platonic—don't contact people thinking, "I might have sex with this person!" It's probably not going to happen (everyone here agreed not to do sexy stuff during a cuddle when they joined this site)... and even if your relationship with your buddy does turn sexual, it's almost definitely not going to happen on the first meeting (if it does, you've earned a ban).
This isn't Tinder.
Edit: Ooh, @quixotic_life put it perfectly. I missed that response while typing up my own. Well said, Quix!
@quixotic_life The intent is ALWAYS platonic cuddle (or virtual cuddle to the believers)
@Libra0 I wouldn't risk "reading one's partner". Reading between the lines is extremely unsafe.
@cuddles_ndream At the end of the day what matters is respecting both the other party AND oneself.
@DarrenWalker TOS understood, loud and clear. (I deviate here to say that one's mind and not the profile picture can be a turn on but that's another story)
Women don't want unwanted sexual advances. I guess men don't either, but the majority of pros are women so that is what we are talking about.
Especially when it comes to pro cuddlers, one should never try to "test" boundaries, even if they find the pro attractive. "Boundary pushers" are something I've heard pros complain about.
@DarrenWalker exactly!!! This isn’t Tinder!🙌🏼 Eloquently put.
I was bombard with messages ….I got overwhelmed took a break. When I redid my profile I added if you’re looking to hookup this is wrong site go to tinder, (mot verbatim) after that the messages have slowed down considerably.
A lot of foot traffic continues but reduced number of serious stoppers, which I do like because I think the weeds are taking care of themselves. I just got to deal with the pretty flowers and hope some bloom pretty soon.
@MCcuddles2 ~ Especially when it comes to pro cuddlers, one should never try to "test" boundaries, even if they find the pro attractive.
What??? So go ahead and "test" with an Enthusiast???
As someone who was assaulted by a "tester", who thought he was "reading" me... I find this way of thinking insanely problematic!! And, yes, triggering - Very!!
Ooos!
@cuddles_ndream ~ "...it is solely focused on platonic cuddles / friendship … but to act like attraction & being fond of someone is something that is impossible, as if its a switch for you to turn on & off / is exactly that - absurd.
There are a few really good reasons behind not acting on urges during a cuddle, even if both agree. • First, Heat of the moment decisions often lead to regret. • Second, Perhaps one has a history of trauma and rather than put themselves in greater danger will acquiesce to the other's advances. • Third, You're going against an agreement of trust with yourself and the other. • Fourth, What's the big deal in waiting until in a cool off period has happened? If you're both still down to pound later on, just do it then.
Anyway, it's not absurd! Sheesh! Have some self control and respect for yourself and those you're with. Whoops! Went off a bit too quick there. Sorry.
And @DarrenWalker ~ Thank you 🙂
It can turn sexual, but it shouldn't be your motive going into it. If it comes naturally, I don't see an issue with cuddling turning into more.
Seriously, and this goes for everyone - if you're alone with someone you could physically overpower, always err on the side of explicit verbal consent.
And, of course, please don't use this site to seek out non-platonic stuff in the first place That's not what this community's for.