Safety

TouchofCherieTouchofCherie
in Pro Cuddling

To all new clients I request their full name and a current photo for identification. But so many men specifically are reluctant... I'm so fed up with people wasting my time on this app. No identification = no appointment. I don't know how to be more clear. The only reason to feel uncomfortable giving me that information is if you have poor intentions. Super sketchy. Ok RANT OVER.

Comments

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    If they really refuse, Block and Report them. I doubt it a breach of the TOS so they can't do anything, but it's a warning sign. You are right, there is only one reason you would refuse to provide it, and that's because you are up to no good.

    Somewhere in your communications say something about how you will keep such information confidential. In the UK there are strict laws about keeping people's details, and anyway people need to feel reassured that their information is safe. Some of them are just nervous about their wife finding out.

  • mtpmtp

    Just for clarification, when you say "current photo for identification", you don't mean photo ID like a driver's license, do you? I can see concerns about the risk of identity theft if so.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    Are the clients withholding their personal info due to the warnings in the TOS about sending identifiable info over their system ? Perhaps they want to wait until there is a session booked whereas the professional is then permitted to offer an email or phone number .

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho
    edited July 2021

    LOL block and report people who don't want to give their full name? That's... literally insane.

    Whenever I visit the forum here, it seems like it's a completely separate universe from the actual site.

    The only reason to feel uncomfortable giving me that information is if you have poor intentions. Super sketchy.

    The large majority of pro cuddlers I've seen use a pseudonym at first, not even giving their real first name. Which seems pretty rational to me. If you really think it's "super sketchy" that I don't want to give my private info to a stranger on the Internet, well, okay then... just keep being frustrated that so many men are "wasting your time."

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited July 2021

    The large majority of pro cuddlers I've seen use a pseudonym at first, not even giving their real first name.

    Welcome to America, folks. Here in London all of of the professional cuddlers I've met used their real name except one, who revealed the pseudonym at the first meeting and was embarrassed that she'd forgotten to do it before we cuddled. I don't mind a pseudonym on the profile but it's not ok to cuddle me having lied about your name: a view that she and I shared.

    We're talking about cuddling here, an intimate and intense emotional activity. If you are not willing to tell somebody your first name you sure as hell should not be cuddling them.

    Cuddling as a whole should not accept pseudonyms or secrecy. Plumbers and lawyers use their real name, as do their clients. We should too. As somebody once said to me, "If you don't want to see it on the front page of tomorrow's newspaper, don't do it."

    Whenever I visit the forum here, it seems like it's a completely separate universe from the actual site.

    No, it's separate universe from the corner of the site that you inhabit. Sure, it's a pretty big corner, but it's only a corner.

    If you really think it's "super sketchy" that I don't want to give my private info to a stranger on the Internet,

    But it's not a stranger on the internet, that's the whole point. It's a person you want to cuddle.

    @TouchofCherie it would be good to hear your views on the comments in this thread.

  • RezzRezz
    edited July 2021

    @CuddleWho

    Yeah I'm going to have to side with you on this. Blocking and reporting members for not giving out personal information to strangers online is a bit overkill. I'm a stranger. They're a stranger. It goes both ways

    I absolutely require a recent photo and preferably a phone number but do realize not everyone wants to give this out due to personal reasons ( married, job security etc)

    If this is absolute requirement for you @TouchofCherie maybe have a cuddle form for them to fill out when you actually meet to keep their info offline or ask to see an ID in person. If this is a strict policy before accepting bookings it might help to put it at the top of your profile to discourage those opposed from initiating contact and avoiding this scenario altogether.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @TouchofCherie I'm with you. I do not see anyone I can't verify on a background checker. I've avoided seeing men with violent criminal histories that way. Just a photo isn't enough for me either. Of course, I have only seen one or two clients off this site for that reason.

  • mtpmtp

    Name, phone number and recent photo sound reasonable to me. It's just photo ID where I think I'd draw the line personally, unless I could censor the ID# and address on my driver's license--otherwise I'm putting myself at risk.

    Maybe there are alternatives, like a "Certificate of Good Conduct" from a police department? Not sure how common this is (or what actually appears on it), but this is what is offered in my county:
    https://www.saratoga-springs.org/289/Obtaining-Personal-Criminal-Records

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    @CuddleDuncan @MaineCuddle I’ve met several cuddlers ( actually it’s probably most ) off this site without knowing their actual govt name or whatever name they chose to give me and vice versa without them knowing mine. They have a current picture of me which I have no issue sharing if asked and my address if I host that’s more than enough info I believe. It’s also something I would never ask of them knowing how much all of them value their safety & privacy.
    @TouchofCherie are these all things you’re also willing to offer if asked of a client ?

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @hugonehugall it's non-negotiable for me. Men and women live in different worlds. For my safety, if someone will not give me the information I ask for I simply don't see them. Nobody needs to schedule with me.

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    @MaineCuddle if that’s your case that’s perfectly within your right to run your business that way. While yes I did tag you it was meant more for @CuddleDuncan who seems to find it unbelievable that cuddlers would meet of here without sharing that info which they do.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @hugonehugall you tagged three of us in your message so I was responding to your entire message in general. Any type of therapeutic practitioner has your real life info. Even the ladies who do the services that shall not be named here request real life info for screening purposes. No reason why that info cannot be given to a pro cuddler for our safety while meeting privately in an intimate setting.

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    @MaineCuddle I understand that’s how you do business here but it’s not how everyone does including other pro cuddlers. As long as you’re doing whatever you think you need to do as an individual to stay safe there’s no wrong way of doing things. So if both parties wish to remain relatively anonymous that’s completely up to them !

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    Sounds like entitlement but to each is own. I can fully guarantee they won't be getting much business off here.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @timetocuddle07 it's not entitlement, it's how a business is run. I'd just as soon not get much business from here because the majority of potential clientele are time-waster boundary-pushers. I can guarantee it's going to get more and more difficult for men to find women to cuddle with them, even paid ones.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    @CuddleDuncan

    Cuddling as a whole should not accept pseudonyms or secrecy.

    As a wise man once said, "You do you, I'll do me." I don't know why you think you get to dictate the way other people meet, interact, and cuddle, but... you don't.

    No, it's separate universe from the corner of the site that you inhabit. Sure, it's a pretty big corner, but it's only a corner.

    I'll readily admit that I don't know everything about this site, but given that as far as I can tell the large majority of cuddlers are in the US, and I've cuddled with dozens of people in 6 or 7 cities across the US... I feel like I've got a reasonable amount of experience, not exactly a "corner."

    But it's not a stranger on the internet, that's the whole point. It's a person you want to cuddle.

    When I meet someone from this site, I have typically exchanged only a handful of messages with them. That's a stranger.

    @MaineCuddle

    Men and women live in different worlds. For my safety

    Sure, do whatever you think is best for your safety. I'll do the same, and for me, that means not giving out my personal info to strangers on the Internet.

  • tx9001tx9001
    edited August 2021

    I agree with most on here. I wouldn't give my personal info to a stranger online.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @tx9001 that's your prerogative, Denver. @squeakytoy highly suspect this is Denver again.

  • Libra0Libra0

    I agree there is a different universe on the forum than in actual setting up cuddle sessions . All the pros I’ve seen have came to my residence. Not one asked for my photo ID. They have asked for a recent photo however and that is fine. Who knows if the name they have given is their real one, and i don’t really care. I could’ve told them my name is Big Bird, and I don’t think they really would’ve minded. I think it depends on where the cuddle takes place. A residence is different than say a motel to meet up or park.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Whoa!! @mtp ~ I had no idea that one could get a, 'Certificate of Good Conduct' or that it was even a thing that existed!! Well other than as 'shout outs' for students.

    I looked up what they have here and ours is only for statewide or FBI records. No fancy embossed certificate signed by the Governor (or anyone else) for us...

    "The Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS) Division of the Oregon State Police is designated by law as the central repository for criminal offender information for the State of Oregon. CJIS provides the following services for public access where allowed under the law."

    $33.00 Open Record (copy of another person's Oregon record - based on name only)
    No charge ~ Copy of Your Own Oregon Record (fingerprints required)
    Cost not listed ~ Copy of Your Own Record from FBI (fingerprints required)
    $30.00 ~ Public Fingerprinting Services (at our Salem Headquarters Office only)

    I might end up splurging on this just see what comes up (though seeing all my speeding and parking infractions listed out might be a bit embarrassing)...
    🚨😳

    I can't imagine ever running someone's outside of pre-employment purposes, and highly doubt I'd ever ask someone else to show their's to me. But it might be a fun icebreaker if they were okay with it.

    Anyway, thanks for the tip/idea!!

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