When cuddling progresses to more

MarkMark Mod
edited June 2012 in Root
This discussion was created from comments split from: Your cuddle buddy stories?.

Comments

  • AndrewAndrew
    edited March 2012
    In the interests of balance, can I just add a warning to people when they think they may have found a cuddle buddy to make it clear what they want. I now attend a cuddle group so am used to all that now, but not in the past ............

    Last Summer, I was unaware that a female friend of mine was going through a voilent relationship. She was obviously suffering mentally and physically. One day she told me she'd split up with him and moved out.

    Over the next month or so, as and when she was ready, she told me the whole story and what he had done. I felt privilidged that she chose me to open up to, (along with her mother and sister I presume).

    Obviously, I felt sad for her but at the same time happy that she had done something about it. I wanted to be the one who comforted her. We got quite close and had many cuddles, I would sometimes invite her round and we would make a meal together but I made no move sexually.

    Sometimes she would have a mood swing and shout at me or snap at me for no real reason, my response was to say I was sorry and cuddle her until she calmed down. I couldn't hold it against her - she was still in recovery.

    One day she sent me a text message on my phone saying "when I come over on Saturday, I would like to sleep over and cuddle you all night. That's not a guarantee of sex".

    How on earth do I prepare for that! Is she coming over expecting just cuddles or sex!

    She was almost 20 years younger than me and had a great body and a pretty face. Men were always coming on to her, several times a week at work or if she was out with her sister. I was different and special to her. She had come to me and excluded all other men, who just wanted to sleep with her. I should have agreed with her only to cuddle but my mind was in overdrive wondering if she wanted sex. What was I to do?

    It was an awkward moment going up to bed, anyhow we cuddled for a while but things progressed somewhat when she removed her nightware claiming it was too hot and that she always slept naked anyway. So now I have a beautiful naked woman cuddling me whom I really like. You can guess what happened. We remained really great buddies for a few months and she stayed over once more, again we had sex.

    Eventually she told me that although she had "gone along with everything I had done", she had never wanted this kind of relationship (that sounded to me like its all my fault!). She hadn't got over her treatment from her last relationship and doesn't want any physical relationship with anyone at the moment. Now she doesn't contact me and if I ask how she is, I get a one word reply.

    In my mind this all came from that original text from her. We should have agreed that only cuddles would take place no matter what. She should have said she wanted to stay over for cuddles only, I would have known and would have agreed. I know I was being entrusted with a vulnerable young woman.

    OK so now you know, make it crystal clear if you only want cuddles and nothing else. I suppose you could take the view that I was an 'uncaring moron' or that we just did what came naturally.

    Either way, I didn't know what she wanted. You can see where it got me. It doesn't matter where the blame lies, I still think of her a lot and am still sad I lost such a lovely friend.
  • MarkMark Mod
    Now that's what I call a cuddle story.
  • foxfirefoxfire
    many people don't always know exactly what they want.  It sounds like the girl may have been a little unsure too.  From what it sounds like, it really wasn't one person's fault, what happened just happened. 
  • [Deleted User]care4u (deleted user)
    edited March 2013
    This is a very helpful story, Mark, thank you for writing it. I have been through a similar thing, years ago, but without having sex or sexual contact, just a lot of cuddling. Only by God's grace did it not become sexual, cannot take any credit myself. We remain to this day closest of friends, also by God's grace. Blessings to you.
  • MarkMark Mod
    edited March 2013
    Andrew wrote this btw, I simply split his post into a new topic.

  • Unknown
    That was a good story. :) I enjoyed reading it
Sign In or Register to comment.