Safety, screening

[Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)
in Professional Cuddling

As a pro, I recommend all pros screen thoroughly to avoid putting themselves in unsafe situations. My advice for what to say is to explain discretion vs anonymity. It's perfectly okay and understandable to want to remain anonymous on this website, but you cannot be anonymous to me. I guarantee discretion in that I keep your information private (between you, me, and my safety person). I need to feel physically safe meeting people in a private setting. This real world information is a necessity, no exceptions. If we made this the standard, it would be a lot harder for people to take advantage. There would be fewer people pushing boundaries if we got their real info from the get-go so they couldn't hide behind their alias. If someone refuses to screen, they'll go to the next pro. I don't want to be the next pro when the person doesn't want to screen because they're hiding a violent criminal record. Just a thought.

Comments

  • mtpmtp

    What information specifically do you require, though? Real name backed by some form of evidence is probably reasonable, but should you know my home address and enough information to (hypothetically) take out a credit card in my name before we've even met? The more sensitive the information a pro collects, the greater the risk to the client of identity theft if the pro is either unscrupulous or careless, and the greater the potential liability to the pro if the information is leaked.

    I'm not suggesting by any means that you specifically would misuse the information. But if we're discussing setting standards for the community as a whole, we have to assume that just as not all potential clients are safe, not all pros will use personal information responsibly, and so caution is needed for both parties. (That said, I do acknowledge that a pro has more reputation at risk in case of bad behavior.)

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    Even if all I get is a name and age, I can find out just about anything I need to know and then some. I use a background checking application. But you could give me any random name and age. There are ways to have you verify you are who you say you are but I'm not going to give that information over a public forum. It's really quite simple. People who won't screen just won't see me. And I'm okay with that.

  • mtpmtp

    I don't understand--you're publicly advocating screening, which is prudent in the abstract, but you're keeping your method of doing so (besides using a background checking application) a secret? I would think greater transparency would be helpful to everyone, by giving other pros ideas on how to increase their own safety, setting clearer expectations of potential clients, and letting people who wouldn't be able or willing to submit to your version of screening know not to waste their time.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @mtp I'll share any info with any pro through messages.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    It’s important to remember that boundaries are not negotiated, they are respected.

    If anyone’s boundaries allow them to feel safer, and happier as a result, than that is all that matters.

    No need to judge it, debate it, or “fix” it.

    Which, of course, works in both directions of the boundary.

    In @MaineCuddle’s example, if a potential client feels threatened by her level of vetting that’s perfectly acceptable.

    It simply means their boundaries are not compatible, and they should bounce in other directions.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    @MaineCuddle are you willing to identify yourself by name to a client ? And by withholding your safety screening tips for professionals only in PM , how about women enthusiasts? Are they to PM also ?
    By posting on the forum , your safety tips are readily accessible for pros and women enthusiasts , if not now , three or four months in time , next year, etc. What if you deactivate ? Or delete ? Now the pro can’t access your important info.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    No I'm not willing to share my identifying information with a potential client, but I'm also not a rapist lurking on a platonic site thinking 'here's a new avenue to get my dick close to women'. I'm not obligated to share my thoughts or body or time with anybody. I'm self-taught. I said I'm willing to share some methods with people privately or they can research on their own. I'm not going to share anything on the public forum where creeps can try to get a step ahead of us.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    Actually, I meant to say a approved client . Basically , what you are saying is , a client provides his name and age, you run this info “ thru the mill” , he’s approved,and the session commences your collect $200 at his doorstep and you remain a username . If the client provides his home as a location he may have house “rules” , where he wants to know who he is paying .

    Thank you for your response

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    That is exactly what I'm saying. They have a choice not to see me.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    And I won't try to overstep their boundaries and convince them to see me.

  • denvercuddler1denvercuddler1

    It is extremely easy to look up people online with a name and date of birth.

    It is also extremely easy to give a fake name and disguise yourself as somebody else.

    With that said, I wouldn't give my info, unless we both shared the same info.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @denvercuddler1 as I've said multiple times on multiple forum posts, I don't see anyone if I can't verify them. I have refused people with violent criminal histories by screening. You don't know how many rapists, murders ect are lurking on this site. I'm sure it's the same percentage as the general public. And to reiterate again, that's good that you have your boundaries. I don't expect anyone to see me if they have that boundary. And people shouldn't expect to see me if they can't follow mine or try to convince me to change them.

  • denvercuddler1denvercuddler1
    edited August 2021

    @MaineCuddle

    Where did I say you should change your screening tactics? Do what you want.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @denvercuddler1 I really think you're just trying to be annoying at this point. Robert is that you?

  • denvercuddler1denvercuddler1

    @MaineCuddle

    I said you should do what you want. How is that annoying?

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)
    edited August 2021

    @denvercuddler1 because I don't need you to give me permission?

    Thank you to who ever smacked this deer fly.

  • johnazjohnaz

    This is a very strange thread. lol

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @johnaz and why do you say that?

  • johnazjohnaz

    It's strange how you want sensitive info, but you aren't willing to be screened.

    It's like asking a man to get an STD test and you not willing to take the same test.

  • tx9001tx9001

    Have you ever seen the show "Catfish"? People have gone years talking to fake people. Sadly, it's very easy to impersonate somebody on the Internet.

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