How Cuddling Changes Us

[Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)
edited August 2021 in General

I joined this site thinking I wanted to cuddle up to a big straight bearded bear. But along the way I have discovered that cuddling people of all different heights, sizes, genders, sexual identities and orientations has been so enriching. When laying side by side it somehow seems we are all the same.

What positive change has happened for you from when you started cuddling to now?

Comments

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    I've learned to embrace and accept myself in a way I never had previously. I've learned to ask for things I want, even though there is a possibility that the answer will be no. I've learned to say no to others when saying yes would be unhealthy. I've learned that I am worthy of love, affection, and respect.

  • Carl2714Carl2714

    I'm more affectionate with and trusting of people.

  • Mela_BMela_B

    @Chris55555 this is sort what happened to me. I knew going in that I would be open to cuddling anyone, regardless of gender, race, religion, body type, because it truly doesn't matter to me, but I also hoped for a certain amount of cuddling partners that would be my desired ideal for warmth, safety, comfort.

    But along the way, I learned that warmth, safety, and comfort can come from anyone, and that it doesn't always come from who I think it will.

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited August 2021

    I've become more comfortable cuddling with women; I've found men who are comfortable cuddling with men; I've made at least a couple of dear friends and cuddle buddies; I've gotten the kind of affection I've been craving for years (though I still crave more— seems I can't get enough of it); I've learned more about trauma-informed, client-centered care; I've gotten more in touch with the trauma I've experienced, both personally and vicariously; I've gotten more in touch with what I want and don’t want; I’ve gotten better at asking for what and saying no to what I don’t want; I've gotten more out of my head and into my body; and last but not least, I've found people to nurture, since sometimes I feel like I'm bursting at the seams with all the love I have to give, and it comes more naturally to me to show it with embraces than with words.

  • Nature_Lover_Nature_Lover_

    Cuddling has changed my life for the better. I anticipated meeting interesting people and the inevitable oxytocin rush from physical contact but could never have imagined the magnitude of benefits I enjoy. I am beyond grateful to be entrusted with the physical proximity to amazing people I might have never encountered and blown away by the emotional intimacy I get to share with them. The friendships I’ve fostered and bonds created enrich my life. Each interaction is an exchange of energy and ideas and I find myself engrossed in conversations about space, God, the soul, our secrets, troubles, past present and future. I’ve always loved helping people and believed that I get to know myself as I get to know others but the reality is this is easily my flow, abundantly rewarding in the most unexpected ways.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited August 2021

    I have become a thermostat god. Otherwise, I get hot under the covers and cold over the covers.

    I have developed a level of zen consciousness of what foods give me gas and I avoid them before a cuddle.

    Lastly I started bathing and got off the Dark Ages hygiene plan.

    And I am beginning to learn to never write something after a statement that said “lastly”. I am working hard on that.

  • Cuddle_Bear_282Cuddle_Bear_282

    LOL, I love your post FunCartel! I am new to all this and so I am starting slow, but really resonate with all of the good vibes people are posting about their experiences.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited August 2021

    @Cuddle_Bear_282 Some truth in there but some would say I bathe too much so that one really isn’t true. But you should bathe before a cuddle. But thank you.

  • [Deleted User]goodguy197636 (deleted user)

    Even though I've had a few bad experiences on this site, I've also had some good too. I have become a better listener and worked on understanding others train of thought. Im not very good putting thoughts into my own words but currently working trying to get better at that. There definitely has been maybe 2 people on here that I've had a session or 2 with and learned a lot about how powerful certain touch can truly be.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I am still who and what I was prior to joining the site , just more cuddle friends than I had before. I would like to be able to say that it has somehow changed my life in some way, but it hasn't. I am however very grateful for the friends and relationships I've made and truly appreciate the people on the site. Even those who I dont particularly have things in common with or converse with, i feel like we are still part of the same something, call it a peer group or club or community or what you will. So that's a nice feeling to have I suppose .

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    This might be a generic/cheesey answer, but I've become more compassionate and aware that the human condition spares no one. Maybe more maternal or mature.
    I fancied myself a compassionate old soul before, that's why I was prepared and suited to be here for all the people who had gotten a really raw deal and were suffering.
    I Expected I would see the obviously unfortunate, ie, recently divorced or widowed spouses, sick, dying, disfigured, disabled, anxious, awkward, or otherwise traumatized or outcast individuals, etc, and I would bless them with divine acceptance and experience growth and develop superior spirituality in the process! A ridiculous and arrogant savior fantasy in retrospect. Embarrassing to admit but too funny not to.
    Ive had the opportunity to meet lots of people experiencing many of those conditions to various degrees, and actually found them to be incredibly well adapted, often more evolved. Misfortune is a great teacher. But the majority have been people you would at first glance assess as having a happy, maybe even downright enviable life.
    So I discovered probably pretty late that "normal" or "happy" can be pretty miserable, loneliness is universal and crippling, and we all deserve a little grace. Emotionally, we're all just 2-year-olds having a subcortical reaction forever. All of us. No matter how long we do the therapy and analyze it. And that sucks lol.
    Just that awareness made me kinder to people in general and also to myself. I still catch myself withholding that unconsciously from the beautiful people, the wealthy people, The people who've achieved things most of us never will etc, and find myself on the other side of it as well, so it's a process. I appreciate being reminded by this thread.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    Emotionally, we're all just 2-year-olds having a subcortical reaction forever. All of us.

    @biancalovecraft

    applauds

    I am at my best when I remember this, and my worst when I don’t.

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    @CharlesThePoet , isn't it the awful truth? I used to think I could actually conquer that if I ever properly grew up. The worst part is a whole terrible twos tantrum can erupt over the exact same inconsequential little triggers at any age, then the adult psyche just piles on more. It's good practice to reflect on each other as tired toddlers periodically

  • [Deleted User]Protector (deleted user)

    Now that I’ve gotten a taste of variety in who I share my affection with, I don’t think I can go back to only sharing that intimacy with just one person again. I’m definitely more empathetic and appreciative of people from a wide variety of backgrounds & shaped by all their life experiences. And I’ve learned to hold my relationships with cuddlers loosely, as new people come on the scene and others leave it as their goals and circumstances change.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    @biancalovecraft

    My “trick” is boring: Acceptance, Communication, and Forgiveness.

    I accept that I will have emotional reactions beyond my control, I allow for them, and with that acceptance I am not ambushed by them and can do my best to not allow those reactions to become emotional actions.

    I communicate the reactions I have, when appropriate, so that others might understand what’s going on with me and give me support or space as required.

    I forgive myself for those things I truly cannot control, and when needed I apologize and ask the forgiveness of others.

    Nothing is perfect, but so far this lets me be human, sane, and reasonably pleasant company.

    Good enough. 😉

  • AngelPendavezAngelPendavez

    @CharlesThePoet

    Beautifully said ~ :3 <3

  • AngelPendavezAngelPendavez
    edited August 2021

    I don't have anything to contribute to this thread right now, but I'll give it some thought and come back to it.
    I've enjoyed reading everyone's answers ~ <3
    I'm curious if @DarrenWalker and @DarkLordChungus would care to share... 0 3 0
    Also @respectful @squeakytoy maybe ... 0 3 0

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    @EarthlyAngel003

    Thank you. That’s kind of you to say.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    @EarthlyAngel003 what does "0 3 0" mean?

  • NicoSnuggsNicoSnuggs

    @nurturingman - I believe that @EarthlyAngel003 is making a “kissing-looking-face” with those numbers.

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0

    I think I'm learning to connect with a highly evolved group of humans who value the right things. I don't know if I can isolate and identify things in the next few minutes, that are due to cuddling, but I think cuddling is part of my overall growth as a person, doing better things and seeking oneness with the universe.

  • hifigeorgehifigeorge

    I think a lot of great things have been said here. I didn't realize how stressed and anxious I was before cuddling. Also my wife discribed me as someone who was "always on", meaning that my mind was always going. Cuddling allows me to shut down and relax for a while. The benefits of this are that in general, I'm more relaxed and little things don't cause me anywhere near the stress they used to.

  • hifigeorgehifigeorge

    I also found that age isn't as important as I once thought it might be. I have cuddled with people much older and younger than myself, and enjoyed them all. We're each unique, and I think age is just something about a person and need not define them. I need to remind myself of this often, since being in my early 50's, I often feel old.

  • AngelPendavezAngelPendavez

    @nurturingman Oh I used it as a replacement for the "eyes" emoji, since it looks like we don't have one here~
    Like sheepishly looking at someone out of the corner of your eye?
    Maybe I didn't use it right XD

  • afmacedafmaced

    I feel a bit isolated. where I live, people can't undestand cuddling.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    @afmaced I hope that changes, and you find someone to connect with.

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