I'm concerned about the site. Can anyone help me answer a few question?

caterrrrcaterrrr
edited August 2021 in General

My wife is a pro on here and was groped and offered money for sex from a couple of clients in our area, and each time they told her that they were offered sex from another pro and thought that is how this site operates.
My wife contacted the admin team about this and had one of her other clients that knew about the pro's behavior contact them and share his story. The admins initially banned the pro.

After awhile the pro's account was reinstated. My wife again reached out to an admin to ask about this... the admin blatantly admitted to knowing about the pro's behavior and told my wife they left it up to a vote, and basically said it is what it is.... something that is STRICTLY AGAINST the Terms and Conditions and is putting other women in danger of being sexually assaulted.

I'm disappointed because my wife likes being a pro, but is scared about how this is being normalized by cuddlecomfort

This leaves me with a few questions..

Has anyone had any similar experiences? especially with dealing with the admins?

Do you feel safe knowing they let stuff like this pass?

Why do the admins take something like this so lightly? is this site lowkey for sex?

How can I bring attention to the company that operates this website because the admins seem to be playing favorites based on reputation, because " how clean the history is (3) the amount of Karma (4) community participation (5) the seriousness of the allegations (6) whether they recognized their wrongdoing, and (7) the sincerity of their remorse. " should play no role when using the site to solicit sex.

I attached the admin's response as well as the part of the terms and conditions that apply to this situation




Comments

  • Mike403Mike403

    The pros that do "extra" for some extra money makes guys believe that all pros here are like that. We need to report those people. If that is what you're looking for, you're on the wrong site. The internet is a big place. Plenty of appropriate places to fulfill your needs.

  • caterrrrcaterrrr

    @Mike403 You didn't read the post my guy

  • Mike403Mike403

    @caterrrr - Yes I did.

  • caterrrrcaterrrr
    edited August 2021

    @Mike403 How did u get that i'm looking for "extra" from someone? I really feel like you didn't read the post. You're saying the same thing I am.

    My wife who is a pro now feels unsafe because another pro in this area is offering more to clients.

    What do I need to edit to make this clear?

  • Mike403Mike403

    @caterrrr wth? I never said that..

  • caterrrrcaterrrr

    @Mike403 ok bro move on... I'm trying to get help because a pro that was offering sex was banned then reinstated. MY wife is a pro here and wants to feel safe doing this. My wife is not the pro offering sex and I am not a client for cuddling.

  • NicoSnuggsNicoSnuggs

    @caterrrr - You may want to tag a mod admin to this post so that they can see it. @Sideon @Babichev @CharlesThePoet @Mark @squeakytoy

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited August 2021

    @caterrr - I said that all us guys need to report these people. I dont know where you got that you were the one looking for extra from my response.

  • caterrrrcaterrrr

    @NicoSnuggs Thanks

    @Mike403
    sorry I thought you in " If that is what you're looking for, you're on the wrong site " meant me because I made the post

  • LovelightLovelight

    @caterrrr , it is my understanding that @Mike403 is addressing the issue of some pros doing "extras" hence making it harder for everyone who is here for the right reasons.

    Now, @caterrrr I am confused about something you wrote. Are there two pros? One pro hired another and they both reported each other?

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear

    @caterrrr , I see the issue here... you took what @Mike403 said " If that is what you're looking for, you're on the wrong site. " as being addressed to you. I believe he meant it as " If that is what [a client] is looking for, [they are] on the wrong site."

    My big issue is that it looks like only the pro had any sort of action taken against her. I hope the client was also banned.

  • caterrrrcaterrrr

    @Lovelight , My wife is a pro and reported the the other pro. My wife's clients told her the other pro does "extras" and that's why they thought it was ok to touch my wife more and offer my wife money for "extra"

  • caterrrrcaterrrr

    @Mr_Cuddle_Bear she blocked the clients so she doesn't know if any action was taken on them or not

  • [Deleted User]Chris55555 (deleted user)

    I am so sorry about your experience as well as your wife’s experience. I am not a pro, but I have had similar experiences and it sucks big time.

    I would caution one thing. Using the word of a manipulative client about a different person and their experience with said person when no one else was around is technically hearsay.

    Your wife has first hand experience of a client seeking sex. That client should definitely be banned. However, making a decision about a third party based on secondhand hearsay is less black and white than one would think.

  • caterrrrcaterrrr
    edited August 2021

    @Chris55555 another pro in the area reached out to my wife about the same pro afterwards and the admin told my wife the pro was initially banned based on the evidence of the pro allowing session to beyond platonic. She was reinstated based on " (1) reputation (2) how clean the history is (3) the amount of Karma (4) community participation (5) the seriousness of the allegations (6) whether they recognized their wrongdoing, and (7) the sincerity of their remorse "

  • [Deleted User]Julie33 (deleted user)
    edited August 2021

    @Mike403 and @caterrrr Mike was speaking in the general YOU (as all men) and you were reading in the specific YOU (as in yourself). Easy to do.

    As a pro, this post is quite concerning. Usually you can screen most people looking for more than a cuddle during the chatting leading up to a session. I have had a couple of clients try to kiss me but they were receptive when I said no, however, one thing that makes me feel "safe" as a pro is that I have the backing of CC if something should go very south in a session.

    And absolutely other pros offering sex services gives the impression that all pros offer such services. I am interested to see the responses to this post. Thank you @caterrrr for bringing it here.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited August 2021

    @Mark is the owner of the site - there is no higher power. It's a difficult situation and is part of a wider problem.

    Sexual activity is banned on this site. The admins frequently take swift and decisive action on this point. But they can only do so when they are told about it.

    Anecdotal evidence suggests that a small minority of members to engage in covert sexual activity. A minority of that minority tell lies to the effect that it is the norm. It's quite possible that the professional believed that that was what she was supposed to do. Many of the professionals offering such services are essentially refugees from restrictive sex work laws, and use sites like this because they cannot advertise openly.

    Remorseful appeals are rare and therefore carry weight. I doubt a second offence would receive much sympathy. The cuddling world is a community, and everybody recognises that we all have our difficulties. We like to give second chances when we can.

    The implication is that this is all local to you. I would suggest that your wife and the Professional meet up for coffee and have a chat about it all. We're all just trying to make a living.

    To put it another way, the underlying problem is the attitude that conflates cuddling and sex, not the actions of one remorseful professional.

  • Libra0Libra0

    I feel like people are completely missing the point.....

  • Mike403Mike403

    If prostitution was legalized, do you think it will help keep those people off of sites like this? I think so.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    IMO CuddleComfort does a generally good job of enforcing their rules. Actually I know of some cases where I think they went overboard and were too overzealous in banning/punishing people.

    However, this is a site where the main activity is men paying women they don't know to come over and get in bed with them. It seems inevitable that some people will expect or hope for something more, and a fraction of them will be pushy about it. And I can tell you from repeated experience that this problem is not only on the male side. This is absolutely a really unfortunate state of affairs. But there's no magic wand CuddleComfort can wave to fix it.

    Your wife had some bad clients, and it seems likely those clients should be banned. But then going on this witch hunt about this other pro you don't know who may have broken the rules in some capacity... why? I guarantee you getting that pro permanently banned is not going to suddenly lead to better clients for your wife.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @caterrrr I'm so sorry that that happened to your wife. I have not encountered any professionals that are up to shady business, but I also vet them to some degree. If I cuddled with professionals in my greater area at random, I would guess I might encounter this.

    It is unfortunate that there are professionals out there that give guys the impression that sexual services are offered. Those professionals are a part of the problem as well as the clients. I hope that any professional or client that abuses this website in this way are reported and banned. But ultimately, those services are not offered through this site, so the main responsibility is on the client for trying to initiate sex when it was not consented or communicated.

    If we have a strict no sex policy, one offense should constitute a ban in my opinion, since that makes everyone safer and sends a clear message. But, I am not the site owner and I also don't know any of the other factors that went into the decision.

  • Mike403Mike403

    All pros should give first time clients the rules and have them sign an acknowledgment form. First time even thinking about crossing any boundary, the session is over with no refund(make sure they pay before the session)

  • caterrrrcaterrrr

    @CuddleWho The pro was banned with evidence. Check out the screenshot from the admin.

    Banning the pro sets the precedent that the behavior is not endorsed by the site, or even shows that the site takes things like this as serious as their terms imply.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    If prostitution was legalized, do you think it will help keep those people off of sites like this? I think so.

    Yes, I agree and I also think it would be safer for all involved in that profession. Could even regulate it to screen for drug use/illegal trafficking since that is a huge problem associated with prostitution.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @sunnysideup - Agreed. If it's two consenting adults, what's the problem? The people in the porn industry enjoy their work. They aren't being forced into it.

  • AmortentiaAmortentia
    edited August 2021

    Unfortunately, there will be people here who will try to missuse the site. I have come to learn myself that a lot of onlyfans members will try to go on here as a pro to do their services. I had a client on here who booked a pro like this unknowingly and then she told him about her other services. Long story short he told me she was banned from here. So bans do happen and investigations. Are the investigations always perfect? No. But is any investigation always perfect? No. That just means if there was not enough evidence or that if it was just substancial evidence then consider that pro either lucky that they got to return or unlucky because now they are watched more. So if you notice this pro causing the same trouble then gather up your proof and expose them. As a pro personally I do not worry about the other pros so I don't think your wife should either. Just tell her to do her own thing. And to report those who expect more than cuddling as I report them.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @Mike403 I never understood how porn could be legal when prostitution is not. I think there is some loophole about it being 'acting' or something like that.

  • SideonSideon

    I'm sorry that you and your wife have had this experience, @caterrrr . Strong vetting, clear communication, and setting expectations help create strong parameters and guidelines for Pros and enthusiasts. Safety is everyone's concern and one of our primary considerations.

    Enthusiasts expecting sex and Pros offering sex is NOT how this site operates. There is nothing normalized here about allowing non-platonic behavior. We ban non-platonic behavior, daily. Anyone who messages, harrasses, sends explicit pics, who does not understand the word platonic, let alone the word "no", are warned, suspended, or banned daily. We encourage everyone here to tag and report non-platonic behavior. The community relies on tagging and reporting offenders.

    As moderators, we need to verify allegations and investigate for evidence. We get flags/reports daily, and each incident takes time to research and resolve, communicating sometimes with both the reporter and reportee, and evaluating both sides of the he-said/she-said event. We also get false flags and unfounded, unproven allegations or rumors or hearsay that we have to work through as well. We rely on direct evidence, such as screenshots, text messages, etc, not innuendo or third-parties who were not directly involved. In the situation that you brought up, there WAS third-party innuendo and not direct evidence, which was the deciding factor for the Pro's reinstatement.

    As moderators, we don't have nor play "favorites" here. We throw out the bad apples without hesitation. Appeals and second chances are rare. I have personally banned hundreds of members, Pro and enthusiasts, since last year. Most of their "appeals" are various flavors of "F-You", they try and create another account, and those are closed too (thanks, technology!). Of those hundreds of banned accounts, I can think of less than five who appealed successfully. We have several existing members frequenting the forums who were allowed back.

    If you have further questions, you're welcome to message me or Mark.

    I am closing this thread.

This discussion has been locked.