When cuddler enthusiasts want relationships

MelancholyMelancholy
in General

It really is depressing when you're totally happy to to be a platonic cuddle buddy and then they suddenly realize they want a relationship.
Not just a cuddle buddy.
Got my hopes up and then poof they won't see me unless I want a relationship too.
I really miss my cuddle friend who moved away. It's been hard to find someone like her.
Well I'll just keep trying.

Comments

  • LovelightLovelight

    Chin up, man. Cause on the bright side she thinks you're desirable. :)

  • timetocuddle07timetocuddle07

    Good reason why men and women can't be friends unless both are not attracted to each other. I figured this happened with cuddling someone multiple times. It's so personal and intimate. I got a friend now that is way to attractive and I'm cool with that I'm have to eventually cut it off due to the hanging out, get along and tension building. If we can't get what we want it's best to bow out. U will lose a friend in process but holding on to feelings not knowing is even worse

  • BabichevBabichev

    I beg to differ.

    Years ago I was intensely attracted to a woman with whom I was good friends. She was a great dance partner, was cuddly. And she wasn’t into women. For awhile I suffered over that and then I accepted that how I felt about her was not dependent on how she felt about me. AND I can have attractions for people and not act on them.

    I’ve had many male friends and some female friends to whom I felt intensely attracted. I made a choice that I would not let that get in the way of our friendship.

    It’s not easy but it’s possible.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited September 2021

    Sorry that's happened to you! Apparently it happens pretty often, which is why others have suggested keeping multiple cuddle buddies or limiting the number of times you meet with a cuddle buddy you're attracted to if one would like to keep things platonic.

    Or, just have high self-awareness like @Babichev , though not everyone is that mature, like the cuddler that refuses to cuddle with you unless you enter into a relationship. They're probably just afraid of the pain they'd feel if the continued to cuddle platonicly. That is understandable, though. We've all been too close to the sun and got burned, and it's a pain I won't forget. The nature of this website, I believe, is to promote platonic cuddling relationships that are casual, so I never expect any cuddling arrangement to last any length of time and am grateful for any cuddles.

  • Nature_Lover_Nature_Lover_

    @Melancholy I feel your pain! This scenario is never easy! I would love to pitch the benefits of hiring a pro cuddler as the objective is always to remain professional and respect boundaries while ensuring the best possible cuddle experiences for you however I know that isn’t always an option for some due to budget and also personal preferences. The reality is there is always a risk that one or both parties will develop or otherwise just have a strong attachment! Navigating this professionally, respectfully, and carefully are key responsibilities of the pro and in some fashion, or some scenarios, the enthusiasts.
    Thanks for sharing and I hope things can return remain platonic, or you can find a new platonic enthusiast soon.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    This is a difficult and painful situation for everybody, my sympathies to all involved.

    It does highlight the importance of open communication in cuddling. If somebody starts to feel romantic or other non-cuddling attachment to their cuddle buddy, they should talk about it at once. In that way it can be dealt with before it becomes too serious, and there is a real chance that the cuddling relationship can survive.

  • Mare_BearMare_Bear

    True, you don't get that with pros. At least any that have had some training and follow a code of conduct.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @Mare_Bear Yep, pros are more than likely getting to see several people and the comfort is barely about them. So that helps lessen the chances to a miniscule level.

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