Am I being too paranoid? Opinions of what to do

jp10038jp10038
in General

I had a few sessions with a professional cuddler who I felt pretty comfortable with. She is based a few hours away from where I live and she has stayed at an Airbnb when she comes into town. We had booked an appointment for Monday September 13th in the beginning of august. For this appointment she had asked for a deposit which she hadn’t before. I felt comfortable enough with paying the deposit. Last weekend her account said it had be “temporarily paused”. We had texted early last week to confirm our appointment. Yesterday a little after 1pm I texted her that I would see her tomorrow. I haven’t heard back from her. She said she had booked the same place through Airbnb that we had met before. Anyway maybe I am being overly paranoid about the situation but with her account being paused and not hearing back from her. Just wanted to see what people’s thoughts are if I should assume the appointment is still on and head to where she is staying and hopefully she will return my text. I don’t plan on knocking on the door but will plan on being in the general area hoping she texts we are still on. If it turns out she doesn’t or didn’t intend to meet me and I’m out the deposit (vacation time I used) then I guess it will be lesson learned not to be trusting of someone who seemed like a nice person. Feeling like a complete dope.

Comments

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    In theory, if you have a firmly booked appointment you should turn up. But I don't think you're being paranoid, I think the odds of her being there are not great. My sympathies.

    You are not a dope.* Paying a deposit towards the accommodation is completely normal in cuddling - you haven't done anything wrong. You entered into an ordinary contract in the ordinary way with somebody you've done business with before and who was reliable. That other party has now encountered circumstances which makes them unable or unwilling to fufil their end of the contract, and probably as a consequence of the circumstances they have not been able to keep you properly informed.

    The warning sign was the request for a deposit which hadn't been made before. My guess is she has come into hard times, and you are part of the fallout.

    *Well, strictly speaking you might be a dope, I don't know. =) =) =) But you're not a dope for doing this.

  • hicuddlerhicuddler

    CuddleDuncan- thank you for writing a thoughtful, balanced and supportive response

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I am concerned that she hasn’t replied back. I would try to reach out again.

  • jp10038jp10038

    Have not heard back. Guess she has stood me up

  • Cuddle_RNCuddle_RN

    @jp10038 I recently had my kindness taken advantage of, and beat myself up over it for a few days. After talking it over with a few people with differing perspectives, and receiving some divine input in the form of a daily devotional reading, I was able to reframe things in this way - I want to be tender and kind. Those are GOOD qualities. The man that took advantage of them has his own issues that led him to behave that way, and he missed out on the potential for a warm and loving relationship with me. A place of acceptance, safety, and joy. A place to be naked and unashamed. A return to The Garden, if you will, or as close as we can get in this life. I'm going to keep being gentle and kind, even though I risk being hurt. I won't let someone else's damage change who I am.

    That's not to say I won't learn any lessons from the experience :) Just don't beat yourself up when you were not the jerk!

  • jp10038jp10038

    Thank you cuddle rn. It’s definitely makes me re evaluate how I move forward

  • Mr_Cuddle_BearMr_Cuddle_Bear

    Based on other posts, seems you may not have been the only person she stood up

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    That sucks I’ve never had anyone ask for a deposit save for a small travel fee before hand

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