@Melancholy
Its the female pro cuddler who is in the most vulnerable position here, and always.
The "always" is wrong as a matter of fact. If you write, "more vulnerable .... usually", then I'm with you.
The "always" is false and dangerous. You are denying and therefore belitting the experiences of men who have been assaulted and traumatised.
Furthermore, you have confused two very distinct issues. I wasn't ignoring the one you brought up, I just wasn't discussing it in that particular post.
@CuddleDuncan If a pro cuddler ever offer some other services. I'll report it. Taking advantage of a vulnerable position, that's wrong.
But I was referring when is mutual thing. When both don't see it wrong. ( one thing leads to another; stays a secret between both. Personally i don't see it wrong) Some point a pro is going to get turn on.
@Melancholy. Ok, the ones intentionally doing it, is wrong. This wrong site, this not a dating site.
I been here couple years now. Come long way cuddling. I literally lost track how many pro cuddlers I've seen. Long story Short.... there's times when some one just bearly met a person. And there's so much bonding, so much chemistry. So much connection. That's right from the start. Off topic,,, the ones that believe in love at first sight.
So yes there some rare cases where right from the start.. people like/bond with each other.
@Chris04 yes, I wish I still had the link …. When they met they immediately bonded , fell in love & decided right than & there to get married … they even updated a few times here & created their own website documenting their journey … when someone talked about their story here I was in disbelief, but sure enough they posted links & it was very true… they even created their own website documenting their story & when I saw it several years had passed by & their last update was just a couple of months before with pics & all traveling the country , a real life fairytale really happy for them 🌌
@Chris04 @Melancholy I think the point @CuddleDuncan was trying to make is that when people cuddle, our brains are flooded both with endorphins and oxytocin. Endorphins both relieve pain and create a general feeling of well-being. Oxytocin is the "bonding hormone". These feelings are not necessarily reflective of the situation or of the relationship between the cuddle participants. An overabundance of these neurochemicals can result in an "intoxicated" state where one may make decisions based more on emotion than they normally would and one or both parties may later regret events that occur. @Chris04 for this reason, I would think that finishing the current cuddling session, without letting things go anywhere that had not been agreed on prior would be the best course. Future conversations, when neither individual is in this altered state, may explore how the relationship can evolve. https://www.healthline.com/health/endorphins https://draxe.com/health/oxytocin/
@Char0818 You expressed what was in my mind. If I pay for a cuddle session, I don't want the burden of deciding within that session whether my emotions can be trusted or not.
I tend to be cautious, having had a long-term relationship fail, and if I felt like someone had fallen in love with me within an hour of meeting me, I'd find my emotions and my brain engaged in a fight. That kind of tension is not something that I seek in a cuddle.
If, after a few sessions (and between, not during a session) someone asked me if I wanted to explore relationship possibilities, I'd feel better about it. I'd feel like I could say yes or no without jeopardizing a cuddle session that I'd paid for.
I think to be a pro you should have been trained and have a license or certificate all my pro do have certificate
As a cuddle professional myself, I have yet to experience this.
When one is acting in a professional role, one takes responsibility for the session. That is what being a professional is about.
That in no way contradicts that one may be putting themselves in a vulnerable position but that still does not absolve the professional from taking responsibility for the session. If the client even hints at taking the conversation or anything else in an inappropriate direction, it’s the pro’s job to stop that immediately and end the session if necessary. It’s definitely the pro’s job to make sure that they conduct themselves in a professional manner and do not do anything to nudge the session in a direction that would violate professional standards of conduct.
I think one problem is that there is no requirement for training to be a pro cuddler, anyone can decide to be one whether they are fit for that role or not. There are no agreed upon rules of conduct, no mentoring. In other professions, rules of conduct, ethics, etc., are taught with one’s training.
Clients are vulnerable, too, and if a pro violates the client’s trust by violating boundaries, they are the one responsible, not the client.
Goodness reading some of these responses, I understand why people are hesitant to book!
I've cuddled in the past, but I'm recently getting back into it and I can't believe there are pros that would abuse that power... Like, someone is inviting you into their homes or at the very least opening up themselves emotionally enough to reach out for that kind of comfort... Why would they think that's okay?
Flagged. Reviewed. Deleted. Minimizing the shared, painful experiences of others is not contributing to the openness and peace of these forums. Please read the Forum Rules and follow them in the future, should you choose to return to them. [-CharlesthePoet]
@Babichev some pro don't need training because cuddling suits them but some it doesn't suits them and they do it, there are in life you see people don't like their job and always complaining and don't give good customer service.
I agree that some people have, for whatever reasons, the kind of maturity, sense of boundaries, etc., already without training. However, since there are no real criteria for being a cuddle pro it leaves the field wide open for people who don’t have the qualifications or sense of professionalism. This can put both the pro and the client in a risky situation at many levels. It’s not just the physical safety of one or the other, which is certainly a consideration. It’s the emotional vulnerability, especially of the client. I’ve suggested in another thread for pros that those who take their profession seriously should get some basic education in psychology so they can familiarize themselves with common conditions like depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, autism, etc. Grief and trauma support, too.
@Babichev well said i think cuddle therapy or cuddle comfort it's new max 3 years old and the purpose it's platonic cuddle. After years people will change it to unprofessional like massage was for medical reason now some are unprofessional. Regards
Yes, there are lots of similarities to massage therapy and we face similar problems in our field. That’s why I’m familiar with many of these issues.
I had a client who tried to lick and eat my foot 😬 . I had to stop the session and told her I’m going to take 25% of the session overnight amount. She then apologized and said she would offer more money if I let her. I got out of there.
I would report that. Definitely beyond the bounds of platonic cuddling.
@Babichev i tried at the time, but the account has been deactivated so I guess that’s good 👍. Thank you for replying!
@Babichev i love what you said all my pro have qualifications and all have basic knowledge of different cultures,religions and mental problems,believe me a pro should be qualified to be a pro all my pro very illiterate,wise and ready to listen. there are some people in life if you tell them about your mental problem they will lough at you. They are people who have mental problem will go for a pro and it can go wrong I want open a discussion about a pro should be qualified to be a pro like the security guard have license to be security . My pro very amazing i told her about my mental problem she gave me breathing exercises because I'm very nervous also adviced me to see a life coach because I have no confidence and always hopeless she help me.