Doing cuddle therapy VS getting talk therapy

transgirlkatietransgirlkatie
in General

Hi,
Right now I've been doing cuddle therapy too help with my depression and anxiety since the pandemic started and for a while I've been wanting too switch too talk therapy but all the therapists out in the sf bay area are online only. And I don't connect well with people over zoom. So I've been doing cuddle therapy because it's the only in person method right now of mental health care that I know of. The other reason why I did cuddle therapy was because I was abused in a mental hospital in October last year and still have some trust issues with therapists. But with cuddle therapy I sometimes don't feel like it really helps me get down too the root of my issues and just makes me feel good for the day or next couple of days. I really wish they were more mental health professionals that were in person, and I'm not really sure if they will ever go back in person

Comments

  • LovelightLovelight

    Sorry to hear about your troubles with finding in person mental health care. As you seem to understand, neither can replace the other.

    Although you don't connect that well over zoom, I'd encourage you to give it a try for a while if you've not. Perhaps you will find that it is significantly better than not doing it at all.

    Besides in person, is there any other alternative you'd feel okay with @transgirlkatie ?

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I go to therapy once a week. Pro cuddles aren’t therapists. I see an actual Dr with formal training. When I was looking for a therapist, I specifically wanted one that did in person sessions. When I first started looking for a therapist, I became discouraged because they were all either not taking new patients or were only doing zoom sessions. I changed my search from my home area to my work area and the first therapist I called, accepted me as a new patient. Is there an option for you to widen your search?

  • SoftHairForDaysSoftHairForDays
    edited September 2021

    @transgirlkatie - so sorry to hear all of this. I understand that cuddle therapy might not help you get down to the root of your issues. I personally have found counseling (even telehealth visits) to be very helpful as far as helping me navigate through life, but you do need to find the right fit (trust me when I say I've had some AWFUL counselors). I fully understand your hesitancy since you were abused. 😔

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Really sorry to hear of all your difficulties.

    I think your analysis is pretty good. Talking therapy and cuddle therapy are complementary, and cuddle therapy is very unlikely to get to the root on its own.

    Doing both at the same time can be tricky. I am in a psychodynamic psychotherapy group as well as cuddling regularly with both enthusiasts and professionals, and my cuddling does cause a certain amount of ..... discussion in the group.

    I would echo @lovelight's thought, that it might be worth trying therapy over Zoom because it's better than nothing. In the fullness of time the good therapists will offer in person sessions again, but who knows when.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    Try life coach he/she will help you to come out of your difficulties and anxiety doctors only listen and give you tablets which are useless life coach in my opinion best option

  • [Deleted User]vinylandbagels (deleted user)

    Sorry to hear about your trouble finding a mental health professional you can see in-person or trust/connect to virtually. I agree wholeheartedly that cuddle therapy and "talk" therapy are two very different experiences, both positive and both both providing benefits to your life in different ways.

    I'm fortunate enough that my therapist/mental health professional and I had an established relationship and since we've gone to talking on the phone rather than meeting in person the last 18 months, I still feel that they can really hear and understand me and provide the right care.

    I would suggest, if you haven't already which you surely may have, at least making some calls and asking around about in-person meetings or appointments with a mental health professional if that's what you're seeking. I know that for many they may not be seeing anyone, but I can definitely imagine, at least from my experience, that the professionals who are going to provide good care could very potentially be willing to meet in person at least once or twice to make sure they're a person you're comfortable with, before moving to a virtual setting. I know it's not as ideal as in-person every session, which I'd like to have back as well, but I don't think it's outlandish to at least ask if that's a request they'd be willing to oblige.

    Hope everything goes well for you!

  • transgirlkatietransgirlkatie

    @Lovelight not sure what other alternatives they are too therapy

  • transgirlkatietransgirlkatie

    @Morpheus yeah I already tried that, I looked 40 miles from my area and still found nothing

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    @transgirlkatie it’s a tough time right now. I worked up in Berkeley last year for awhile and the Bay Area was far more closed down than here in SoCal so I can see why you’re having issues finding an in person therapist. Best of luck, keep trying.

  • [Deleted User]sage_wisdom (deleted user)

    giving cuddle therapy. I am not professionally certified to deal with people’s mental problems.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @transgirlkatie well I'd think you can get the option to video call, text, or speak on the phone with your therapist..

    Also I don't know what issue you've with video calling with your therapist. Though if it's due to not wanting others whom you perhaps live with evesdropping on your conversation, then you could find somewhere else you feel comfortable with. Like the middle of a field, by a tree that's distanced from virtually all civilisation.. okay I'm exaggerating a bit. Though you get the point. If it's shyness, then that's something you'll need to work through and would actually be good for you to as that can open more doors for you. If instead it's just not being a fan of those other means of connecting, then sometimes it is necessary to step out of our comfort zone.

  • herby357herby357
    edited September 2021

    @transgirlkatie Thanks for broaching the subject. I became disabled 5 years ago and have been using talk therapy to help me cope with what I've lost. I've found that group talk therapy has been much more helpful to me than one-on-one sessions. The benefit has been two-fold in so far as it's help me understand that A.) I'm not alone in my struggle, and B.) there are folks out there in a far more difficult circumstance than myself. Also, virtual technology lends itself much more effectively in a group setting in my experience.

    Lastly, since I view cuddling as a therapeutic pursuit similar to talk and message therapy. I blend all three as part of my self care regiment -- understanding that there is no one thing that's going to magically make me feel better mentally. It's a process and a daily struggle.

    Hope this helps.

  • transgirlkatietransgirlkatie

    @Morpheus yeah I wanna leave the bay area because of us being so locked down and also because of the auto break in crisis

  • BabichevBabichev

    Life coaches are not licensed mental health care professionals. Like nutritionists and professional cuddlers, there are no defined criteria, anyone can call themselves a life coach.

    Psychiatrists are MDs with a specialty in psychiatry. Most people see them because they need to be prescribed medications. If one is seeking counseling, a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, or similar would be the kind of person to seek out. They are the ones who do talk therapy.

    Cuddling could certainly be helpful for some folks with depression but a cuddler is not a trained mental health professional.

    The pandemic has forced all of us to have to adapt. If the choice is between a Zoom meeting or no meeting at all, I would choose the Zoom. At least you have counselors in your area willing to do that. Perhaps in the future they will resume in-person meetings. Here in St. Louis it’s hard to find someone taking new patients at all. Everyone is swamped.

  • h2hh2h

    Grand rising Katie🙂
    I get both in at the same time...I guess you can say I'm a social butterfly that snuck back into my cocoon😏 I also don't want to miss a single moment of cuddling by dozing off...and also because my lip broke a seal and I would end up drooling on you🥺
    But I would if you gave me the opportunity to take us on a convoflight. I love talking with people out of the blue and learning about your experiences and finding new things about myself. Message me and I'll give you my number. You can hide your number when calling...I won't be offended.

  • fate67fate67

    I don't think professional cuddling should be a substitute for talk therapy but they are both beneficial in their own way and complement each other.

    I empathize with your trust issues because I was lied to and abandoned by my first ever therapist not too long ago. I feel hurt, confused, betrayed etc. and it's really difficult to get past it. I also prefer in-person therapy and find zoom to be impersonal and less effective. It could just be my personal preference, but I really think a lot of the communication aspect is lost over zoom. And like another poster said the therapy field in general seems to be swamped now. Hard enough to find any therapist, let alone one that is in person,  affordable, and that I click with. I'm taking a break from talk therapy due to my trust issues, their lack of in person availability, and also finances. I hope more therapists are available in-person soon.

  • MGKelly63MGKelly63

    I really enjoy talking during a cuddle session, it’s really nice that I can tell about my life stories, and listening to the other person’s life stories is good as well.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Well I am not craving it because I have been on a primarily vegetarian diet for years, but this occurs every year out here and people from everywhere in the world descend on this place like a holy pilgrimage of BBQ. Went there yesterday and it does make your mouth water. The World Series of Pitmasters.

    https://www.americanroyal.com/bbq/

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Ooops wrong thread

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