@sage_wisdom thing is, when I say "I'm fine/okay", I actually am. So to me it isn't a lie, because when I look at the grand scheme of things, I'd say most of us, myself included, are in fact fine/okay. Good/great/fantastic? I'd say not so, though what constitutes "okay/fine" are rather quite minimal/bird's eye view, at least to me, they are.
Like if someone asks someone "where are you from?" The person can choose to say earth, or the the name of the continent they are from, country, city, etc., depending on the context and all. So neither of these answers are a lie, because they are actually from there. Though not everyone gets the privilege of knowing that specifically.
@Lovelight Again, all of the configuration and arrangement of words you are expressing are fair EXCEPT for “When I look at the grand scheme of things, I'd say most of us, myself included, are in fact fine/okay”. I was in no way attacking you. if you are feeling personally persecuted from my opinion of the general human condition that is not my intention of expressing my opinion. My expressions of my general opinions are just that. they are not to pigeonhole specific people or stir up negative arguments or feelings for the group of people I am expressing myself to.
@sage_wisdom I wasn't feeling attacked in saying that. I was speaking of it in general, though sharing as it also pertains to me. Hence my conclusion that I don't consider it a lie.
Consider those who have committed crimes like Martha Stewart…or even disgraced politicians like Richard Nixon. It isn’t necessarily the crime that gets you in trouble…it’s the cover-up and the lie where everything falls apart.
One of my rules of life is to always have 3 things to look forward to, and nothing to dread. Lying falls in that dread category because you have to keep up with your story so you aren’t caught, and who needs that kind of constant mental work?
@Spud424 So like when people don’t take responsibility/accountability for their lies after they have been caught lying and just continue to lie? lies on lies on lies. like can I at least get a full bottle of scotch to go with your lie sandwich…. If I have to listen to you continuously spew this sh@t out of your mouth as you breathe 🤪
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what I find pointless and counterproductive is when people are stuck in playing the “innocent victim”. that they have absolutely nothing to do with what happens around them. unfortunately, there is no helping those people to move forward. they are not interested in helping themselves. they want pity. nefariously intended or not people lie. what I think should be discussion is to how to not let those people have enough power over you to have a lengthy detailed discussion about those people who have lied to you. ask yourself…what is that going to get me in life? Is that going to change that person? is that going to change me for the better? what knowledge am I learning by doing this that I can apply to the next time I may encounter this hurdle? find healthy productive ways to encourage those discussions. Not “Liars are the worst.”
@sage_wisdom 💯! So many people like that. They diagnose the issue and leave it at that, thinking they are some sort of modern Byronic hero.
Painfully, at a certain point I realized that I could trust my fellow humans to be humans.
I accept that, and forgive them their foibles, mistakes, and selfishness, but I have learned to never truly trust them.
Or rather, I completely trust them to be human, to serve their own interests, and to have an at best passing concern for me.
Ask yourself… can this be a lesson for me to learn and understand why people lie? can this be a lesson for me gain insight and see people that I vilify so vehemently in a little more human light? can this be a lesson for me to grow and change my heart, mind, and soul so that I may live a happy healthy life?
will having lengthy discussion of why liars are the worst make me an ultimately happier healthier person than at the time when I was lied to?
can this be a lesson for me to learn what I should and should not allow people to have the knowledge of or access to?
Yeah girl. We get what cognitive thinking is. Lol. I do plenty of it.
That's not the point of this post.
Your accountability is based on your actions. You lie, these are lessons you need to ask yourself. Not to the ones you're lying to.
It's neither happy nor unhappy, it's the facts of the matter. Don't be a liar and expect to keep anyone in your life if YOU choose to lie.
Splitting hairs on what/whether a lie is good, is baseless, when in reality, you could've been cognitive enough to do the work yourself before you decided to be deceptive. 👋
I'm not in charge of others, I'm in charge of myself. But I'm not going to be a doormat along the way.