Requiring cuddlers to go through some sort of certificate process or course will only make things more expensive for the clients, and prices are already too high. Use your heads. Again, everyone is asking way too much out of this service. The people arenāt miracle workers.
Certifications for cuddling are ridiculousāeither you care to some degree about your client or you donāt and it shows. Everyone wants everyone certified in everything now days but you can still lead several world powers without any sort of certification at all and these are people who have their finger on doomsday buttons. Perspective, perspective, perspective.
@Babichev very true cuddle therapy is something new it's not very popular,I don't think is more than 3 years old.It will alot time to happen. And there are not many organisations to give trainings and to be a professional cuddler very important information you pointed. Regards
@morefun21 %100 I agree with what you said cuddles are not for fun sometimes there are pros asking questions what to do,how to do or deal with issues ect .it's better to get training which is good for both parties .
@Libra0 š¤£š¤£š¤£ I know that but it's very important I think some pros don't need it @FunCartel certificates aren't ridiculous I have worked in customer service environment and been trained how to deal with unhappy clients,angry clients as i already said some pros it suits them they don't need that,but some need it for their own good and Clients.aslo they are pros can't say no if a client crossing boundaries or follow their policies.
@creedhands ~ Totally!! Pro vs Paid should be a thing!!
@WriterGF ~ "Or a cuddler pro could simply put prominently in their profile, "I am not a trained mental health professional. If that is what you require, please contact a licensed professional in your area," or words to that effect."
True and clients/cuddlers looking to be "healed" through cuddling should have a disclaimer about that on their profile and in their intros. IDK ~ I'm no pro, but to me that's way more expectation of a virtual stranger than I'd ever feel comfortable with trying to fulfill.
Also, where is this "only 3 years" bs coming from?? Even CC has been around longer than that! So weird... š¤
@Babichev "Certifying bodies must be independent from schools and training programs." Yes, that's what I was acknowledging in my latest reply. I had originally brought up Cuddlist as a certifying body. They are, but they aren't an independent certifying body, because they are also a school. I do want to clarify, though, that their training is an intense and interactive online 30-hour course and their certification requires positive feedback from two clients, an evaluation from a booking request to an actual cuddling session, and a video conference with the co-founder and director of training.
For client feedback, I met clients/enthusiasts here on CC before I changed my account to Pro and arranged cuddle sessions with each, telling them I was a Cuddlist pro in training and giving them free Cuddlist-format sessions; then I asked each to complete and submit one of Cuddlist's online feedback forms. For my approval session, I went to a Cuddlist-certified evaluator's home. That evaluator not only had to be Cuddlist-certified but also had to go through more training and a process to be certified as an evaluator. I had selected her from a list of a dozen certified evaluators from around the US. She had played the role of a client from the initial inquiry from my Cuddlist profile so that she could evaluate how I communicated with her, screened her, et cetera. When I showed up to her door, she continued to role-play as the client, and I role-played as a Cuddlist practitioner showing up and interacting with the client from start to finish. It was literally a "hands on" role-play exam with an "orals" element to it as well, since she talked with me the way a client would, and tried to trip me up a few times by saying certain things and seeing how I responded. There was some boundary-pushing for me to handle as well (nothing x-rated). After I passed the approval session, I had a one-hour finalization call, which was a video conference with the Co-Owner and Director of Training, who of course has an interest in not just certifying any old Joe off the street, since each person they certify represents the Cuddlist brand.
Please note that Cuddlist does not just call anyone who takes their training "certified." They call people who have passed their course "trained," and they call people who have passed their certification process "certified."
I'd be fine with seeing a pro cuddler who didnt' go through special training. I just don't want to see it cause the cuddling rates to go up again.
@Melancholy i agree šÆ
I have known a couple of pros whose intelligence could fit in a thimble yet they just kill it as cuddle pros and I would see them again and again. On the other hand I have seen highly intelligent people that couldnāt cuddle their way out of a wet paper bag and if they had ātrainingā for it they would probably become more clinical and wooden than they already are. But they would be smart enough to pass along training costs to clients.
If you really want to find a competent or great pro cuddler, the best way is to chat and ask questions. This is why I instantly write off any pros that have the āDo not contact me until you are ready to book an appointmentā on their profile. If you are going to blindly rush me into an appointment without allowing me to discuss our potential cuddle and ask questions, then I have to assume you care very little if the client is a fit or not. Saying you are certified would not persuade me to change my mind about yoy whatsoever.
I see the value in certification in many fields. Cuddling is not one of them. Certification can also homogenize skills and is used by corporations as a predictor of what they are getting in certain positions. I do not want my pro cuddlers all thinking and acting alike. How very dull, numbing and predictable. You want me to like you as a pro? Just care a bit and be a little more you than what a piece of paper says you should be.
Personally I donāt think they have to ā¦ kindness & compassion is not something you learn, it is who you are & comes from within
@cuddles_ndream I agree with this wholeheartedly. You cannot train empathy and compassion. Someone that needs training for the essential human traits of cuddling needs to find out first if they are a sociopath who lacks empathy or compassion. People like that can learn to emulate rewarded behavior, but it will never be sincere and it will show in a session. You have to want to change from within and someone who lacks these traits will view certification as just another hoop to jump through to achieve their own goals. In fact these people may score the best in training because they can read the correct answer, but I doubt they would change anything in how they cuddle a client.
Besides empathy and compassion, I would think maturity and a good sense of boundaries would be essential requirements.
I have seen highly intelligent people that couldnāt cuddle their way out of a wet paper bag and if they had ātrainingā for it they would probably become more clinical and wooden than they already are. Certification can also homogenize skills and is used by corporations as a predictor of what they are getting in certain positions. I do not want my pro cuddlers all thinking and acting alike. How very dull, numbing and predictable. You want me to like you as a pro? Just care a bit and be a little more you than what a piece of paper says you should be. Someone that needs training for the essential human traits of cuddling needs to find out first if they are a sociopath who lacks empathy or compassion. People like that can learn to emulate rewarded behavior, but it will never be sincere and it will show in a session. You have to want to change from within and someone who lacks these traits will view certification as just another hoop to jump through to achieve their own goals. In fact these people may score the best in training because they can read the correct answer, but I doubt they would change anything in how they cuddle a client.
I have seen highly intelligent people that couldnāt cuddle their way out of a wet paper bag and if they had ātrainingā for it they would probably become more clinical and wooden than they already are.
Certification can also homogenize skills and is used by corporations as a predictor of what they are getting in certain positions. I do not want my pro cuddlers all thinking and acting alike. How very dull, numbing and predictable. You want me to like you as a pro? Just care a bit and be a little more you than what a piece of paper says you should be.
Someone that needs training for the essential human traits of cuddling needs to find out first if they are a sociopath who lacks empathy or compassion. People like that can learn to emulate rewarded behavior, but it will never be sincere and it will show in a session. You have to want to change from within and someone who lacks these traits will view certification as just another hoop to jump through to achieve their own goals. In fact these people may score the best in training because they can read the correct answer, but I doubt they would change anything in how they cuddle a client.
@FunCartel You paint a horrible picture of the kind of cuddler who goes for training and certification. I see a lot of derogatory assumptions there. Personally, I am a kind and sweet person who is already a natural at cuddling and took training and put myself through a certification process to learn all I could about every aspect of the practiceā all with the goal of being the best cuddler I could be and helping clients to see that I cared about them. I also thought that being a male cuddler and already having to swim upstream, the training and certification would give me a leg up, or to continue the salmon analogy, provide āladdersā to assist me in my journey. I may have been naĆÆve to hope that all that expensive training and certification would have any effect on the amount of work I would get, but that in no way equates to any of the character disorders you alluded to above.
I havenāt seen anyone in my training program (everyone can read everyone elseās responses to each writing prompt in each lesson) who struck me as anything akin to your description. I havenāt seen any indication of those intentions or deficiencies in the folks Iāve heard and seen in online discussions or telephone or video training sessions, either. If you think training and certification are unnecessary, fine, but I take exception to your characterization of cuddlers who go for them.
If a pro wants to get certified, great. If they don't, great.
I just want their skin to be soft and their hair to smell like lavender or apple blossoms.
@Mr_Cuddle_Bear what about coconut or strawberry???? š¤Ŗš¤Ŗ
@FunCartel you are so right about the ādonāt contact until ready to bookā. Itās so de-humanizing. I know some pros have that there because theyāre sick of people asking gross questions or people spending a lot of time asking questions and then bouncing, but thatās all a part of being a cuddler. How are they going to know if thereās a comforting connection? How will they know their money is going to be well spent on having an amazing cuddle with someone who will genuinely care? Yea, there are some pros who will accept a booking without even asking the guys name, photo and understanding of boundaries but thatās so cold and unsafe š© Letās talk. Letās see how we mesh. Letās make sure you arenāt a psycho. Letās make sure I can give you what you need in the best way possible.
@Mr_Cuddle_Bear
Well then you are very fortunate. Some clients want their professionals to touch them intimately (not sexually) without physically or sexually abusing them, because touch of that kind is something they have never experienced. Sometimes they mention this to the professional in advance. Sometimes they don't.
Whenever you are talking about professional cuddling, remember that it isn't that rare for a cuddle session to involve no touch at all.
Reported, reviewed, and removed. @twistoflime - you contributed to the very behavior that you were railing against - as YOU were warned to stop digging up threads and attacking @quixotic_life . You can think about this in forum timeout, for starters. [-Sid]
@CuddleDuncan, you are 100% correct and I realize my comment might come off as snarky, I really didn't intend it to be.
I do consider myself fortunate. We should realize that there are many different skill sets a pro may have, and many different skills a client is looking for.
There is definitely a need for clinically trained professional therapists, I think of videos I've seen of vets with PTSD receiving touch therapy. This is a very valid and useful physical/emotional treatment. People offering this kind of therapy need to be trained properly for both the client's sake, and their own.
We should also remember that a client may go into a cuddle session believing that they are just there for a superficial (for lack of a better term) touch, but may in fact be in need of a much more intense therapy.
I have more thoughts on this but I'm rushing out of work now. I'll try to get back on later to continue my thoughts.
@FunCartel Ty!!
@Mr_Cuddle_Bear certainly not snarky. I think, perhaps, in the moment I interpreted it as being a little flippant, but on reflection I think that says more about my unconscious reaction to some of the other posts in the thread than it does about your post.
Anyway, I completely agree with your points about clients with serious difficulties, and clients who don't really know what they need (even when they think they do).
In another thread we are discussing the different types of professional cuddler. In due course I may take some of the points in this thread and incorporate them there. The point here is this:
Question 1 - How much training does a a professional cuddler need to deal with a polite, boundaried and respectful client who has had a cuddle session before, has no significant psychological difficulties, believes he just needs a wee cuddle and is correct about that?
Answer 1- Practically none. Or just none.
Question 2 - How much training does a professional cuddler need for a first time client with deep-rooted misogyny who believes he just wants a wee cuddle but in fact is approaching first experience of intimate touch since a severely traumatic event involving intimate touch?
Answer 2- What this thread is about
Question 3 - What self-regulatory or other system could the cuddling world promote in order to help vulnerable clients distinguish between genuine professional cuddlers and other people masquerading as such?
Answer 3 - What this thread is nearly about
I can understand the fear that an industry requirement for certification could cause rates to go up, but from what Iāve seen of rates and qualifications on this site and another, many trained and certified pros are charging lower rates than those charged by pros who list no credentials on their profiles. Ironically, if professional cuddling ever becomes a regulated industry, you might find that rates normalize a bit.
Thank you @nurturingman for saying so much of what I wanted to say. In my years with Cuddlist I have not met anyone who was not highly sensitive, empathetic, and loving toward clients and each other. Maybe one person seemed like she was in it for the money, she did not pass my certification process. It may not be governed by a legal body but our certification is just that, it takes time, money, dedication, and doing the real work to get there. It is valuable to our clients and they do experience a premium service. Cuddle Sanctuary is another highly regarded name in our field around education and service.
@twistoflime thanks very much what can we do God forgives her we here not to hate and harrass each other.
Who said pros don't need training , in life any kind of job you do there's training for it,even very low paid job . .As I mentioned before some pro don't need training, they have customer service background,know little about mental health,cultures,religions ect. They love what they doing,they know how to deal with any unhappy,angry,clients,clients crossing boundaries also they are confident they know they going to meet different types of people. They like to listen also they don't mind clients asking many questions,they have to be patient and love what they are doing. Morality and been good it's very important and safe for the pros.been bad back to bad clients can cause harms and damages. They are crazy,bad clients,clients crossing boundaries there you should know how to deal with them if you don't know you need trainings .
@Ahmedali999 So based on what you're saying, you've answered your own question. It shouldn't be required. If there are pro cuddlers who don't need training...then why would they require all pro cuddlers to get training? That's basically punishing people who are naturally good at it by making them take a class or pay $200 bucks for something they don't need. That would really slow down the pace of adding new pro cuddlers if you told them they needed to spend 200 bucks and a week training before you let them earn any money.
@Melancholy true pros don't change a lot money, sometimes if you struggling and negotiate they will give you discount. 3 of my pro gave me %20 discounts because I work in minimum wage. One of my pro she gave me free sessions when I was struggling with money. Always ask questions.
It would suck for the people that make a living as a Pro to lose their title... BUT I see what you mean. Maybe CC could add a 3rd tier for "Certified Pro" and create some sort of certification for that.
@nurturingman Itās my opinion. There are many who agree with me and many that will agree with you. And you are loaded with assumptions as well. But I do not think a certification will make a better pro. There are many enthusiasts with no training that can out cuddle pros. This isnāt science.
@FunCartel It is absolutely science! I think people who say no training is needed have never had any training. Because if you did you would know how different they are.
I would not assume that training would make a pro a worse cuddler i.e. more wooden and clinical. It depends on the training and the pro. I attend a small but exceptional pain conference every year. Most of the attendees are physical therapists. An overarching theme is listening to the person in pain. In one workshop, the instructor brought in a guy who had been in a horrible accident and did the kind of interview he would do with any new patient. At one point, he caught himself projecting his own assumptions onto the patient and stopped to point it out. The entire class was focused on getting beyond the strictly āclinicalā aspects and hearing that personās story. I can conceive of a training that might take that direction.
Some have said that some training covers subjects like screening clients, how to protect yourself. Again, this can actually help a pro feel more at ease when they feel confident that they are safe. Iāve had this experience myself. I once had a new client coming in who had said something on the phone that left me just slightly ill at ease. I called the police department, explained the situation, and said hey, if I call, can you send someone over right away? They said sure, no problem. I put their number on speed dial and kept the phone in my pocket, then assumed everything would be okay. I was able to relax precisely because I had a plan if something did not go well. Feeling confident that I can recognize if a situation is getting sketchy and assert myself if it becomes necessary allows me to relax in the moment.
Another way in which trainings can be helpful is by interacting with other pros, if that occurs. Someone who is new and unsure of themselves may see others modeling being relaxed and confident.
Folks donāt always think about all the different factors they need to consider. Training can help with that.
Since science includes psychosocial factors I would say it is science. We know a lot about what makes for successful interactions between people. Some of this can be learned if a person is capable of learning it.
I agree that certification does not guarantee that a pro will be better but since this is a field with zero entry level requirements and zero standards, itās one possible way of establishing that someone has put some effort into taking what they do seriously.
@Mare_Bear That is an assumption as well as you do not know me. Maybe they give training on not making assumptions. And what exactly are you calling a science? The cuddling or the training? I ask because the bar for science continues to be lowered now days.
Look, you can maintain it is science. I disagree. If the certification makes you feel good about yourselfā¦wonderful. I have cuddled two with certification and meh. I agree with @Sheena123, you either got it or you donāt. That is my opinion AND my experience. Since we are making assumptions, I think people who stamp their feet and praise their credentials are insecure. Again my opinion. I will bow out of this at this point because I am not changing my opinion or arguing about it.