What is a "community" while it leaves behind it's weakest and those who are most in need

MrECMrEC
in General

I've had my account since 2016. I can say without question this "community" leaves behind those who are most in need of friendship and love. Most of the people that gravitate to this place will be those who have suffered trauma, and need nothing but tender loving care. But, it's more of a business than anything. And those who try to make this point will be treated like pariahs. I think it's quite heartbreaking. I would think it's quite obvious that those most in need of physical comfort are those who have suffered the worst in life. Who here cares for those worst in need? Anyone? Or should we just shove those people aside, and act as though life is all peachy? Personally, I will put my arms around anyone, without money, regardless of ethnicity, religion, or size. Because I genuinely care about people, especially those who suffer.

I don't know about anyone else here. But I have been through the darkest depths that life can offer. And I can say without question this place, at least this "community" is not any sort of welcoming haven for those going through darkness. It is a business. Here to make money off of the desperate, with people posted to enforce that business. I personally don't understand how anyone with any sort of genuine empathy or love for their fellow suffering human beings can be such cold enforcers, other than they have never suffered themselves. Yet, here they are, celebrated, as if they are heroes.

Those of you without genuine empathy or any sort of caring may line up below to attack me and do their best to make me, and those unfortunate suffering souls who aren't as outspoken as me, on whose behalf I speak, feel as though we are pariahs. Does that really make you feel good inside? I don't see how. I really thought this was a place for those in darkness who are seeking comfort and therapy. But the more I engage in this "community" the more I find it is just a business, here to make money off of desperate souls. I find that to be pretty scummy and disgusting. To the point that I am willing to subject myself to the hatred of those who don't really care about those who are suffering, and possibly even being banned. So, submit your hate to me below, as I know you will.

Let it be known that I feel COMPELLED by those who have contacted me personally to let me know that this community does not support those who are suffering the most, to speak my mind, and speak on behalf of those who are less outspoken than me.

Commence the hate and attacks below, fellow "community", and "good" human beings, who supposedly care for their fellow human beings who are suffering darkness:

Comments

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    You make many perfectly valid points.

    But I don’t know how to go about solving them, human nature, our “culture”, and and our economic philosophies being what they are.

    Probably the best we can do as people is being the change we wish to see.

    Politely and gently speaking what we feel to be true, and not rising to the inevitable attacks from those who feel threatened.

    And lastly, doing our best to not shut down in bitterness.

    The two kinds of change are slow and patient, or swift and painful.

    Peace to you in the meantime.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    @MrEC I'm sorry to hear about the negative experiences that you've had. I hope that you are able to experience some kindness: both here and in other places.

  • cookiecrumbcookiecrumb

    To you personally, I stand guilty as charged. I have left you behind. I have also been on this site for several years, and we are thousands of miles apart, and I have not known of your existence until now. I limit my search criteria to a certain geographical proximity. You and I are on very different paths in life. I don't pretend to understand your struggles, but we have similar needs.
    I have several children, and in some places, the law is that a child care facility has to have one caregiver for every two children. Why? The caregiver has two arms, and in an emergency that requires evacuation, it ensures no child is left behind. One caregiver only has two arms. A child and a caregiver are at two different stages in life. A caregiver provides the child's needs. The children cannot meet their own needs. The caregiver is paid. I could get married (again) so I don't have to pay a caregiver, but that is harder to do than finding a caregiver. I have to work hard for either. It is easier to meet my children's needs for care by paying someone.
    We both have needs. I need food. I pay the farmer; I pay the grocer. I need healthcare. I pay my doctor; I pay the pharmacist. I have to work hard so that I can pay them. They are working hard for me. We help each other; but it is not free. In every relationship, even in marriage, you have to give. If you only receive, you may find yourself soon without anyone at all.
    If you have found toxic people on this site, I agree with you. I ignore them. The internet is a toxic world. I don't want or need that. But there are many struggling people here that share the best of themselves, @sillysassy @CharlesThePoet @JoyfulHeart @quixotic_life , for examples. There are many others. I encourage you to see the threads they write in, Positive Vibes, shared artwork, Four Words, just as examples. I encourage you to share the best of yourself on this site, and receive the amazing creative variegated wonderfulness that many have shared here. And whether you find an enthusiast or a pro, I hope that you find a good fit that meets your needs. I hope that you receive the gratitude from those who have contacted you, for whom you are advocating, Above all, I hope that you receive the blessing of peace.

  • lovingkneadslovingkneads

    I hear you, brother. You’re heard and seen. Maybe not everyday, maybe not in every moment. But when we start to show up for ourselves, people start showing up for us. When we abandon ourselves, when we believe that the place is cruel and toxic and transactional and subscribe to that belief system, that is generally what we will get back. That is the law of the universe. It can feel like a very lonely battle, but there are people here waiting for you, once you’re able to fully see and accept yourself.

    Speaking your pain is such a brave thing to do - I applaud you for that. You’re not in the dark anymore. You are loved. You’re not broken. You are strong. You are empathetic.

    Be kind to yourself, my brother. We’re all carrying a deep burden, collectively.

  • sh410sh410

    No doubt this seems to be a business first mentality. Whether or not that is a good or bad thing is up for debate between the pro and the enthusiast. I think there are some truly empathetic folks in this community, but just like everything else there's always some bad with the good. I've witnessed a callousness in these community boards too many times to count. Someone, usually a new member, coming to the forums in need and reaching out and putting themselves out there or asking questions of genuine curiosity about platonic cuddling, only to be ridiculed by some in the responses. And not by random forum trolls, but by long time members who for no reason I can decipher are held up on a pedestal around here. Some posting truly heartless comments, some using it as an opportunity to hurl zingers that would make the worst lounge comedian roll his eyes. Though I will add that recently I've seen much less of that negativity, largely due to the individuals I'm referring to have all deleted their accounts. Sorry to hear that you've encountered more of the bad than the good, but I promise there's good people here.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I came on here expecting it to be a business, because my only previous knowledge of cuddling was a cuddle therapy practice in Albany. Rightly or wrongly, I figured the enthusiast end of things would be much like dating sites (although I realize this isn't one) -- way more men than women, and a lot of profiles created to dip a toe in the water but no real interest in following through. (Most of the enthusiasts in my area haven't logged on in the last year.) I haven't been on this site long enough to know how accurate the OP's description is, but I don't really expect CC to be my therapist. I don't expect that of a cuddle partner either, though I know there are some who take that task on. All I am hoping for is a little human contact.

    So, yes, it is a business -- it costs money to run a website, and I don't begrudge people who can make money from this from doing so. No one is being forced to use a pro and I am certainly not going to criticize them for asking for compensation for their skills. We're all just trying to get through the day.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
    edited September 2021

    This is temporary life nothing is free or paradise. Many go through afflictions or hardships. I have mental problems most to do with communication difficulties,confidences,anxiety. I'm isolated chosed it not lonely, also I have pelvic pain which destroyed my life completely like can't have sex anymore, 0 confidence. I have met an amazing pro who made me feel, welcomed cared and supported and Valued and taught me to be positive and not hating myself. she gave me free breathing exercises and arranged me with a life coach. Because of her I stand now on my feet and have a good job. Before depressed not working for 1 year hopeless failure ect. Now my target to save money go for private therapists and doctors. Because in The Uk NHS is free but overcrowd they don't give you good care because it's free only they gave me anti-depression tablets and they don't allow me to see a regular councillor because it costs them. The only care If I hurt myself. they should to listen but sometimes they do help but not mental help u wait in waiting list for ever .☝️ best option improve life ,work hard and save money to see private therapists also join communities like cuddle party their link name meet up cuddle party and join gym and yoga classes ect ect . human needs humans my pro made her Friend @cuddleduncan made CV which helped me to find a job best greetings to them . human needs human for help,support and advice ect.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    ☝️ So, surely with hardship comes ease.
    Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease.1. Be patient is key for Success and improve your life and have targets.

  • _marC_marC

    @MrEC what was cuddle comfort like in 2016?

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    What is "CV"??

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    CV is short for curriculum vitae, I believe. It's basically a resume.

  • ShakeShake

    The most heart breaking thing here was the anger I felt behind your post. But making accusations about what your target audience has or haven't suffered, blatantly attacking the character of those on this site who do work without really knowing them or their situation, or why that money may be needed. I'm worried you may leaving your own empathy at the door. Keep your points close, but don't lose yourself in the process.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @WriterGF is correct.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
    edited September 2021

    Pros must charge. They arrange comfortable clean room,flat. they must eats so can they have energy to put efforts and give their energy and emotional to heal or give , if room cold,hot ,they put a heater air conditioner.clean bed sheets hygiene, some have shower 2 3 times a day. How can they pay their bills and rent ?. You must try an honest true pro who don't charge alot. Or find cuddler here if you are not successful improve your profile meet pro karma for karama helped me to find a cuddle body because they are afraid of their safety dangerous to meet strangers they could be harmed i listen to crime stories meeting strangers it's not save for both men and woman.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I do empathize with those that feel this way to an extent.. your post has a touch of entitlement making me feel like you think that because you are going through hard times, you deserve someone to give you their free time. I feel like you’re blaming pros for this. I could be wrong but that’s how it feels to me. I can guarantee you that whether there were pros or not on this site, your outdone would have been the same. There wouldn’t have been many women on the site then and when you subtract pros, there aren’t that many on the site now. Which means you along with many others will not have immediate luck.

    I can’t help but think with you being here for 5 years with no luck, it’s something to do with you. Maybe you need a different approach, maybe you should open your comfort level to the men on this site that find comfort in cuddling men. Maybe actually try out a pro that is cheaper that you connect with.

    Do you have any ideas yourself that would make this situation of yours better? Because it shouldn’t be because pros exist…

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    I have same 1 year not luck after i made my pros put karma for me it helped alot so far 2 lucks 1 was yesterday meeting. strangers not save for men and woman unless they are both feel save. I see 0 krama in your profile meet pros and make them put karma for you it will help you more.

  • SideonSideon

    @MrEC - your post generated multiple flags, which is why I'm responding.

    While I sympathize with feelings of loneliness and wanting to make connections, you claim to want community and yet you have posted all of 9 times since 2016. If you have been here this long, then you know that this site has ALWAYS been for enthusiasts. You post paints a broad, desperate, contradictory, and dramatic swath that this community is here solely to make money, and that we're all implicitly "scummy and disgusting."

    You want therapy? See a counselor. That's not what CC is for.

    You want community? Then be active and participate and be a part of it.

    You want to be entitled? Complain? Disparage everyone here? Then show yourself the door before I do.

    Closing this thread.

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