Cuddling with a stranger vs. Cuddling with a friend

Does anybody else find it somewhat easier to cuddle with a stranger than it is to cuddle with a friend? I suppose it depends on which friend. My housemate and I are close friends and are both cuddlers but we both feel awkward about the idea of cuddling each other!! I can't quite figure it out.

Comments

  • edited September 2021

    Cuddling with a stranger creates the pretense of intimacy: this can have many of the benefits of real intimacy.

    With your friend, you already have a degree of real intimacy. This makes it much harder to create 'superficial' intimacy: you run the risk of it becoming real intimacy. On top of the intimacy that already exists, that would take you to an emotional place that is very unfamiliar and therefore makes you feel awkward.

  • I've cuddled with female friends before and it was great. I didn't feel awkward at all. But I think I would feel weird cuddling with a male friend. Is your housemate the same gender as you? could that be why?

  • I will cuddle with either, there’s really no difference for me.

  • I think @CuddleDuncan is on point. We do have a level of roommate and friend intimacy and lots of respect for each other, its just not a cuddly kind of love. And if we did cuddle it would feel awkward and confusing. Re: gender. Idk. I identify as queer. It doesn't really feel like sex/gender identity/ or orientation are part of it, but more like Duncan said a mixture of different types of intimacy that feels slightly uncomfortable.

  • I find it much easier cuddling with friends. We already have an understanding. Most of the men I’ve cuddled with on CC are constantly pushing the boundaries and I find it impossible to relax with them outside of the two excellent (unfortunately out of town) cuddlers I’ve met on this site. My cuddly friends don’t do that.

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