I'd also like to highlight that with the pandemic some precautions increased. I have to steam down my couch or bed after every session, sanitize surfaces touched, and wash clothes immediately. I have put some significant money into this and I've actually only continued to lower my rates during the pandemic and beyond because of the influx of individuals who needed help- and I didn't want to bar anyone access due to income. I've made exceptions, I've lowered rates, I have done everything I can to be accommodating. I know others in this community who have as well. At the end of the day no one is forcing you to get your cuddles here. There are other outlets. Social/dating apps, forums, Reddit, craigslist, etc. etc. etc. There are non-pros that do not charge. There are pro's in the area who charge less. I have found clients are often much more picky than cuddlers are about who they engage with, which is fine, but perhaps don't take it out on those trying to provide this service.
I realize that were cuddle professionals to not exist, it is likely that I would not have cuddled with anyone up until this point, so I am very grateful to them for that. It's not like them charging money somehow prevents me from getting free cuddles. If they weren't professional cuddlers, they would be spending their free time some different way so I'm glad they chose that time to professionally cuddle with me.
However, @CuddleWho voiced my general feelings about the situation. I also realize that being bitter about the state of the world or my being is fruitless, so I'm trying to repress those feelings and just work on being someone that a female enthusiast would want to cuddle with.
@BellaSera Hit the nail on the head here.
Touché, @CharlesThePoet. I suppose I was thinking of required degree or certificate programs that evaluate the tastiness of your food, the quality of your knife skills, or measure the years of your training before you're allowed to microwave some frozen pasta. I concede it's a crappy analogy, as there certainly are safety requirements and inspections in food service. My bad.
To be fair, though, critics constantly calling out the lack of pro-cuddling licensure aren't worried about cuddlers passing sanitation courses or CPR training. They're mad because they resent that someone is getting paid for something they don't perceive as being skilled labor. And they're measuring it against either their own wages or imperfect analogies to other professions. My attempt to analogize the restaurant experience was simply to characterize the ephemeral parts of what cuddling clients pay for. I concede the failure.
This debate always brings forth a laundry list of analogies and perhaps it's ultimately all a distraction. Bottom line is that many people pay lots of money for cuddling services, and while the quality and experience do vary, many of those people are highly satisfied. There are many ways to be great at cuddling and that's worth something.
@BellaSera you have such a business mind 📚 pretty cool!
Both @sunnysideup and @CuddleWho sentiments remind me of an article a read awhile back titled "Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden."
It's a bit of long read but it highlights a lot of issues that I think are reflective in why we see such a demographic split here, as well as the number of emotional posts made by those who claim they 'cant get cuddles' while rejecting those of a certain age, the same gender, or any other number of reasons. https://harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/
@SleepySheep1, thank you for your insights and the link to a great article! I appreciate the vigilance of your covid cleaning procedures, but I am a little worried about you steaming your couch too much? One of my most beloved clients once gifted me this commercial spray used by hospitals, hotels, airports, DOD, etc. called "Sterifab." It bills itself as follows:
Sterifab Protects & Disinfects Against Bed bugs, Fleas, Viruses, bacteria, fungus and mold. The only EPA-Approved disinfectant, insecticide and virucide, entirely non-residual. Odorless.
Total game-changer for me. Allows me to change/wash sheets between clients, but just spray comforters and other surfaces. It dries pretty quickly and leaves no smell. And I don't worry about mold from steamers, etc. Bonus is that it quells my bedbug fears when I travel. I'm a total evangelist.
https://www.sterifab.com/landing-page
@BellaSera
Totally agreed, most of the “haters” regarding cuddling are coming from an entitlement issue, not a quality of service one.
Quantity over quality and availability before safety as points of contentions…
Hmmm, I’m pretty sure I have seen those issues creep up before about other things…
But seriously, I do apologize.
I wasn’t intending to call you out directly. It really is more how perplexed I am that cuddling gets conflated with food service so frequently.
@BellaSera I've never heard of it! Granted now I exclusively only take clients who are vaccinated, but I still get sick from just about everything a little too easily so I will definitely look into this.
@SleepySheep1, it is worth it to me to have something relatively non-toxic in my arsenal to ward off the threat of bed bugs alone. I was maximally paranoid after an unfortunate experience at a high-end hotel like 5 years ago. When I was doing a lot of hotel cuddling, I got to the point of quarantining my luggage in the garage in garbage bags with these really heinous neurotoxin-laced pest strips. So glad to have an affordable and breathable luggage spray that means I don't have to go to these lengths and the fact that it also kills covid is a dream.
I'm giving free cuddles ☝️ only book a package holiday for 1 week or more to London if you live aboard then we meet for cuddles. My house is terrible but I'm security at luxury building no body has moved in yet . I don't mind risking to give cuddles Everything on me no need to complain 🤗. I believe whatever happen happens.
@BellaSera who is mad? Certainly not me. As others have already pointed out, the restaurant analogy doesn't really hold. It's actually one of the most licensed, rated, and regulated businesses one can open. I just don't see how anyone can just call themselves a "professional" of cuddling when there are no agreed-upon standards for what makes one so. Licensing is not a red herring at all. It's a standard practice that protects both the provider and purchaser, as both have a very clear understanding of how prices are set based on standardized industry training and accepted business practices.
The wording “pro cuddler” is something the site started so I assume the site called it professional cuddling because the word professional can sometimes mean “getting paid”. So whether or not you have a license or degrees or certificates, the dictionary term for pro can mean “being paid for services”.
Supply and Demand.
Also I don't consider it too much, maybe some but most are very fairly priced if not cheap. How much would you pay for a therapy session? How much would you pay for a massage? Now I'm not saying they are the same or as qualified but the desired feeling afterwards is the same. If you are trying to cuddle weekly or what not I can see it maybe being expensive for you, but for me the intent isn't to make it a constant thing but when needed and to keep satisfied.
There are expensive restaurants but the purpose is nourishment. Not everyone get afford to constantly go out to eat. I'm also sure someone of these people could cut other forms of entertainment and be able to.
I don't need to be defended, and I don't feel guilty. What is so often forgotten in these tirades is that many clients prefer professional distance. That said If any one wants to cuddle with me outside of the format here, they can try the old fashioned way -win my trust and affection.
And since there is a bunch of hair splitting over "certification", which I agree is indeed fallacious, I recall a saying often repeated in the dance world: "Those who can do, those who can't teach"
The most highly educated dancers spend their days exclusively lecturing in universities. There's your licensing body.
Actually , perhaps pro cuddling could model itself with the restaurant business .
Does a restaurant collect a deposit when you call ahead and make a reservation for two at an agreed upon time and date ? .. hmmm no,
Does the restaurant leave a customer review for other restaurants to read , ... no
In most industries the only difference between an amateur and a pro is that the pro gets paid for it. When I started driving for rideshare I found that most people considered me to be a professional driver. The only difference in my driving is that I was getting paid for it. Could I drive around and pick up drunk people for free, sure, but the time, effort and expenses that go into it justify charging for my time.
I think of professional cuddling along the same lines. The time, effort and expense that someone puts into providing a cuddle session deserves to be compensated.
Time: Everyone values their own time on their terms. Respect the time they allocate to you.
Effort: Every pro I have seen has talked about the effort, specifically the emotional effort of providing a cuddle. Every cuddler I have seen has had to deal with people trying to push boundaries and asking for extras. It got so bad for my first cuddle friend that she stopped cuddling and eventually cut contact with anyone she had met here, respectful or not.
The stories of people behaving inappropriately are so common I’m surprised that most pros don’t charge more to be honest. The stories are so cringe to me that I sometimes laugh inappropriately and have to apologize.
Expense: Travel, cleaning, refreshments the list can go on and on for cuddlers.
If your the type of person who sees charging for a cuddle as somehow inherently wrong because there are some people who will cuddle you for free, I wonder do you feel the same way about ordering an Uber?
Surly if you had a good enough friend they would give you a ride for free, same as a good enough friend would cuddle you for free.
In both situations, you have a need that you are trying to meet and there are professionals willing to facilitate. Personally I don’t view one as being all that different than the other.
🤗 Sorry to mention to all above comments, this thread is about prices of cuddles. license debate should be a in a different thread it's very long debate about it. By the way it's your choice If you want to do it. Sorry @cuddleforyou123 I don't point at you to all comments above you 🙏
It’s a shame that pros feel a need to defend themselves. Our community is made up of enthusiasts, clients, and pros. None of us should have to justify our presence here. The pros serve a useful purpose and deserve respect, just like all of us here deserve respect. I’m grateful for the contribution our pros make to our community.
To the, "The real issue with Pros is..." crowd,
If you're hung up on the "P" standing for "Pro" or "Professional" then flip the script for yourself. Every time you see "Pro" or "Professional" on CC, read them as "Paid". That is what they are after all, "Paid Cuddlers" right??
Still don't like it? Well... then don't pay them and deselect them in your searches.
Honestly, I don't get what all the hullabaloo is about. Compare cuddler "shopping" to nearly anything on Amaxon, Etsy, Ebay or Craigslist. Prices are all over the place, even on items that are exactly the same. And sometimes cheap knock-offs and beat to hell used items are priced above tried and true, name brands that are new with warranties.
But guess what! No price regulating body in these market places means it's your lucky day! You have choice. You can pay what's asked or keep shopping. You can even decide not to make a purchase since it's a luxury expense you won't die without.
But hey... If you're just too cheap and thrifty, maybe check the, "Freecycle" section (enthusiasts) to see if one of us will select you to be the recipient of what we're pretty much giving away for free! But remember to check your choosiness when you do, because some of us may be a bit rough around the edges and you'll need to put in some effort to get what you want out of the exchange, even after being deemed the "chosen one" you already see yourself to be.
I'm very amazed 😃 about best comments @Babichev and @quixotic_life herotic said 👏🙏 you 2 are heros for standing for others you deserve a meddle 🏅🥇🎖it's rare to see . after your comments it should be no more debates only thank pros and @Mark who made CC Thanks for standing for pros.
Pros do a lot they could save lives. there are there give,welcome,support,value,care etc ☝️we should have a special celebration day for them . Please CC 🙏make especial celebration day for them.
Not that I need to justify my rate (as was previously mentioned) but I feel that sometimes the rates are higher in areas where the cost of living is higher. For example, Maryland isn't exactly an inexpensive state to live in. I do care about others and that's why I do this work. My previous part time job ended, due to COVID-19 and I've decided to do this. 😊 If people (who are in need of a cuddle) are deciding to take it out on us (pros) then at least we know who not to do business with, if nothing else - because that's incredibly petty behavior. They can also choose to try to find an enthusiast if they don't want to pay, rather than complaining in the forums every chance they get.
Great post, @stormydaycuddle. 🤗
@quixotic_life - 💯. Also, I haven't heard the word hullabaloo in a while. 🤣🤣🤣
@DimpleGirl I think you hit the nail right on the proverbial head. Take for example my occupation which is a photographer. This post supports your post and it was from a fellow photographer about the state of our industry as well as any client based industry. Take a moment to consider their costs of doing business, expenses, and of course taxes as well. There's a gigantic list for any individual who's going about it the right way. With today's cost of living and inflation $100 is literally nothing compared to the monthly income required for survival.
As my friend mentions, you have to consider cost to travel to the client in both of our cases as well as fees charged to the cuddler by the site itself. Of course, there will always be those that try to undercut the little guy but that's neither here nor there in this particular situation.
@CrossFitNLattes - 💯
I think some people might be forgetting the fee, as well as taxes, and they are thinking we get to keep the full amount that is being charged.
@DimpleGirl 🤗 we agree with everything you said,☝️but there're people on low paid job can't afford and best solution to negotiate with true pros who are willing to help or find some else,budget money ect rather then complaining. After tax my salary $100 a day . I have checked your profile and @Mela_B @stormydaycuddle @Sheena123 and @BellaSera have especial good deals 😍🤩 that's amazing, excellent service 👌 . Also some others do regards to your all
@DimpleGirl you don't need to justify your rates. you have amazing deal.
One of the things to take into consideration is the amount of down time. I’m guessing that there are few pro cuddlers who can make this a full time gig which means they need to have another job to support them. For those who try to make this something more regular, I suspect it takes a lot of work and time before they can keep a schedule that’s relatively full. Then take into consideration the number of people who cancel or don’t show up. I’m guessing there’s a lot of lost time for many pros.
@Bavaria unfortunately it happened to me today i cough a cold 🥶🤧 and cancelled my massage session with a therapist. I wanted to pay %50 compensation but she said no ☝️ that's one if the reason, we should have big respect for them . As you said, It really takes alot time and prapered a comfortable environment,ect and efforts to make customers happy😊. If customers are not happy it's stressful and depression,and headaches for pros. It's a lot efforts. 1 one my pro she only happy when customers happy. In my security and concierge job I'm very scared if customers complain about me. Sometimes it's depression for me. That's means by by 👋👋 go home. ☝️☝️☝️ no no no pros puts lots efforts to make clients happy.