Have you ever been heart broken? did it happen more than once? did you get over it, or are you still going through it?
I have been more than once. Likely the worst time was when my then-wife told me, ten years into our marriage, that she had never fallen in love with me.
I've done a lot of healing since then, but even now, more than twenty years later, it can still hurt.
The acceptance I've received from cuddle partners and other friends has helped me to see that it was a reflection on her, and not me.
Plenty of times. I'm not sure you get over it so much as you move on. The biggest danger is getting into the same kind of relationship over and over hoping it will turn out differently.
I've done a lot of healing since then, but even now, more than twenty years later, it can still hurt. @JoyfulHeart
💯!!! Ty for sharing, I’m soo sorry you went through this / experienced this … soo glad for your healing 🌌
@WriterGF “I’m not sure you get over it so much as you move on” - I wonder this too, & I know its different or depends on the situation / person / ect
Couldn't agree more my friend. I had my heart broken about 2years ago and nothing is same anymore. Like what @JoyfulHeart said it still hurts (man praying for you , 20 years is a long time), a wound that can not be healed. Praying for you all. Peace✌️
It doesn't seem to be possible to be healthy, sane, and whole in a toxic, crazy, and broken culture.
This little glowing window into the rest of world is heart-breaking, far more often than life-mending.
Still, it's really all I have at the moment.
@cuddles_ndream @Ash55
Thank you so much!
@cuddles_ndream yes. And it took me till last year to understand the empath in me without strong boundaries was attracting narcissistic type partners.
I choose instead to share my energy wisely with my friends, my animals and genuine cuddle partners I have met through here.
It has me feeling happier and more positive about life then I have felt in a long time.
Thank you @Ash55 🌌
@CharlesThePoet sometimes I reflect … & than I wonder & think , & I see where I went wrong, & where I didn’t (or I feel I did my best or didn’t put enough effort) & I realize that everyone goes through their own struggles … & I realize the most simplest things that make me happy, & those things are what makes me the happiest … last week my mom made thanks giving dinner because she’s awesome like that, & since she will be traveling this time of year for the holidays & always happens to be the one who hosts for the family, she decided to make it early, i invited a few friends over & they were teasing that they’re forever inviting me out & I never go / show up / & have a reason not to … she started teasing lol, & they set up to have a house party yesterday, it went from 4:pm to almost midnight & I had such a blast , so many people over … & the laughs & good times were endless , & I realized I don’t put enough effort for others , & that I don’t have to wait for others to initiate, I could do the initiating … I don’t know if this relates to this but sometimes people are waiting for us on the other side of the phone ect for us to reach out. But I agree with everything you said.
@JoyfulHeart you're welcome 🌌
@KYtranspant i share your personality & experiences … some people I had to completely cut out of my life, others we reconciled & there’s a level of respect there now (they know I meant business the 1st time & I highly doubt those lines would be crossed again) I had an amazing blast with them yesterday , but I love love love this -
I choose instead to share my energy wisely with my friends, my animals and genuine cuddle partners I have met through here. It has me feeling happier and more positive about life then I have felt in a long time.
Yes, and more than once. Gotten over it … mire like put it into perspective or learned to live with. Don’t let fear of repeating the experience keep you from entering into relationships as i did for many years—the hardened protective exterior becomes harder and harder to break through with time.
@ThomSSI đź’Ż!
Ugh!! @WriterGF ~ Sooooo true!!
@WriterGF - maybe not hoping, but thinking it is different (till you realize that it's not, and it's too late) @ThomSSI - agree, although it depends on the experience that one had, as well as the ability to deal (or not ) with it
Yup walked away and booked a cuddle and did not look back. 2 hours in the gym everyday and you’re good. Keep moving forward.
Yeah im in that situation now. Married almost 10 years and the last few have been slowly getting worse. No arguing but its distant. It's like having a roommate. I don't get it, I DO EVERYTHING for her. She doesn't work anymore and just got extremely lazy. I should not work 12 hours to come make my own food and be in a dirty house and sit by myself. She has no interest in me, no hugs, kiss, sex. She just sits in the room and plays a computer game and talks to people around the world in the game. We don't talk, I've brought it up a few times and nothing changes. I've never felt so lonely and I'm married! What sense does that make?! There is 0 quality time. It's tough to bring up the "I'm done I'm divorcing you" topic. I know it needs to be done but a little scared to start over so late in life...
So many times. So sorry to read everyone else's sad stories. Getting your heart broken is part of life, I guess. But we learn from it, I suppose. đź’ś
@Tdwight ty soo much for sharing !! Personally I’m afraid of committed relationships even though I want it just as much as the next person … I feel that very few relationships are all around successful (veryyy few) & by that I mean that I have an understanding or feeling that people grow apart / people change / the honeymoon phase isn’t forever … another thing is that people, when trying to be in a relationship they do 3 things for the most part
1 they present who they want to be/ or who they think will impress the other person, not who they really are. Edit … this can only last for so long
2 they may see certain red flags but think that they’ll change the other persons ways, or that they’ll change themselves, and
3 they want to be accepted just how they are, most people demand but aren’t willing to change themselves / and or compromise… and if they actually do, it won’t be long at all before old habits come back
@Mela_B Thank you for your kind words. I'm sure you've had your share of brokenness too. Sending hugs!!
@Mela_B thanks … I like your comment a lot (I guess & i suppose is the 2 questions in finding or seeing reason , & maybe there is meaning & purpose - I wonder)
@cuddles_ndream Yeah it seems hard, especially in this generation. She definitely isn't the same person I fell in love with. She's gone so cold. I do like the aspect of a relationship at this point in life. The comfort of having someone, a best friend to be at home and peace with. I don't want to play field again I swear....
@Tdwight i really hope you guys are able to make it work, a lot of time has been invested & the love is still there … at this point you guys really know each other
@cuddles_ndream I don't know. I tried as an adult, I brought up the issue a few times, nothing changed, I volunteered to seek counseling, it was declined..... I'm about at that point where I'm tired of being tired. The sadness and anger inside is gone, I just find myself not caring anymore. I stopped giving effort since none was reciprocated and doing to her as she does to me. I deserve so much better I'm a damn good man.
@Tdwight what does she say when you bring those things up?
@cuddles_ndream well...... she will deflect and claim that at least she is in the house and not running the streets....and by being in the house she is with me. Also would say I just want her up under me and watch tv... which is not the case at all. She did once say she has been a shitty wife and apologized and said she would be better.....that didn't happen. She claims she needs help to clean.....any further convo she gets irritated and doesn't want to talk anymore. It's like she turned into a fuckin child. I just don't get it.
@Tdwight gonna pm you
@Tdwight totally understand. You're not that old, it may feel that way because of the situation you're in.
I started over at 28, again at 44 and I had just turned 50 when my last and final relationship blew apart out of nowhere 19 months ago.
I do not have it in me ever again for another relationship. But I think if you do choose to get divorced with what you learned you will begin to feel much better as you reorganize priorities in life.
Yes, several times. I survived.
I think one of the advantages of age is that eventually it sinks in, “This, too, shall pass.” It still sucks in the here and now but you realize the heartbreak won’t last forever. I tell myself I’ve always managed to come out okay in the past, why should now be any different?
Looking back on my past relationships, it was sort of inevitable that they were not going to last. I could not see that at the time but I can now. Only one of those people would I go back to and even in that case, they are nice companionship but they are emotionally stunted in a way that would be frustrating for me.
Harder for me has been the demise of my dance circles, my music circle, and groups of friends that provided a nice social network but then they move away.
@KYtranspant yeah thats rough. Definitely will learn from it
Being a young fellow, I can hardly grasp the kind of pain that comes from these decades-long relationships. While I certainly have had my heart broken a couple times, it helps to think that I still have time to find the one. Hugs and prayers for you all.
Of course! It's a natural experience. If no one ever has been broken hearted, well....that person has never had feelings. Its literally impossible to live life without it....we need it