It's difficult not to feel bad when you send someone a selfie cause they asked for one and then they stop talking to you. I really wonder what they're hoping for. The right color ? Right look ? So strange. Does this happen to others ?
People's learning styles, auditory, visual, mathematic, literary etc., translate into a cacophony of responses to various stimuli. Someone else might look for intelligence, another person may look for communication skills, and another maybe references to feelings and emotions. We all turn the page for various reasons. For some looks are important while others have no body or look type at all. There's no right or wrong to it.
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Sorry that seems to have happened. It hasn’t happened to me because I have public photos on my profile so nobody has a surprise that I’m not model material when they start chatting with me.
@Melancholy sorry this happened to you! The truth is most people are shallow & vein … it is possible however that they determine (for whatever reason) that you guys are not or might not be a good fit for cuddling, & I promise there would be others who will find you just right. someone in the comments mentioned not thinking of themselves as “model material”, & I think they’re very gorgeous … everyone has their own idea & outlook on who or what’s ideal.
You have to remember that there is no evidence causally linking the photo to the ghosting.
From the anecdotal evidence I've heard, I would say it's pretty rare for people to ghost because of something to do with the photo. However, we know it's very common for people to stop communicating for no obvious reason. Thus, it's most likely just a coincidence.
If it is something to do with the photo, I would say it's most likely to be to do with a trigger. For example, for some reason the picture [consciously or unconsciously] reminds them of somebody or something with unpleasant associations.
And if it's none of the above, then we're left with some kind prejudice. Colour of skin or hair, age, beard/no beard, fat/thin, tall/short, whatever. In this case, the prejudice is its own punishment - they have missed out on a cuddle.
This happens all the time on dating sites. While this is not one, I am not surprised it happens here too.
I’m sorry you went through that. From my personal experience I don’t like to ask people for photos. And I don’t like to send photos of myself. I’ll turn down a booking to avoid sending a selfie. That’s how uncomfortable it makes me.
That had to feel sort of weird, maybe even hurtful. We all want to be valued, accepted, even if not for a cuddle. The thing is that even if that one person did that, you're STILL worth cuddling! With no more evidence than that person's lack of response, who can ever know what the real reason was? On here, I've discovered that it's best to adopt a policy of "Ask 'em." If they reply, great. If they don't, I honor their right to do what they feel is best in that life they call theirs...and move on along! No need to waste precious time and energy on someone who, for whatever reason, chooses to discontinue a conversation. There really ARE some marvelous, loving, kind, touchable people here... You just have to sort through and find them!
I don't like lima beans. At all. At a buffet (like here!), I refuse to spend even a SECOND bothering with the bowl that has those in it. Instead, I move on to...like... the meatloaf!!! (I get gifts of meatloafs on my birthdays!!!), or to the Fettucini Alfredo (which I KNOW I'm not supposed to eat, but oh well! lol)..
I sincerely hope that, even though you'll miss what sounds like it may have been a promising correspondence, you don't give up on the idea that there can be people who are tickled to pieces with the thought of making a connection with, and cuddling, you!
Imajen
@ImajenMoon Eloquently stated.
Also,
You are a simply awesome hooman bean.
@JoyfulHeart ~ you KNOW you "had me from hello!" Thank you!
With cuddling, as a therapeutic modality, still being so new, I think we're still just all trying to hammer out the new paradigm. There are people who will respect boundaries, bring the noise, and be willing particpants, finding healing in mutual tender Touch...then there will also be people who will come here looking for the wrong things, who don't seem to understand that no one "owes" anyone ANYTHING, and it'll be sort of "dicey" for a while...
I, for one, am deeply, deeply grateful that this site---even just the concept---exists!!! I have met some of the kindest, most unusually HOOMAN BEANS here!!! lol <<That cracked me up!
And I hope that @Melancholy stays and finds people who WON'T pull the football away! (Lucy Van Pelt reference! lol) Good luck!
I had a similar situation here and I was ticked off because I was chatting with this woman and she asked for a picture, which I never have a problem to provide, actually most communications I start I send a picture with that first message. But this woman didn’t have a picture either and she asked if I could send her a picture and I specifically asked her that if I sent a picture would she sent one of hers and she said she would. So I sent a pic and she didn’t sent one of hers. I sent a couple of messages asking for her pic but she didn’t even care to respond to those messages so I left it alone. This same thing happened once before but a while ago and based on that I’m never sending another pic to a member without getting one first because people don’t keep to their word.
@Melancholy, it's happened to me often, and it hurts. Often times there has been a conversation before sending the picture where I have shared about me in a vulnerable way, and when sending a picture ends the conversation, it really stings because it makes me feel as though the picture "cancelled" every bit of me which the other person already knew. I spend a lot of time and effort on personal growth, constantly developing the person who I am on the inside, at my core. While I can do several things to have better physique, a large part of how I appear (color, height, face shape, etc.) is out of my control. So when the latter is what wins out in someone judging me, it makes feels me very helpless. That really hurts. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
You a real one @Cuddleslikeapro 💯
Sad to hear that for you @Melancholy
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/11057/how-come-i-m-getting-no-reply-s-from-people#latest it happened to me more than 1000 times because i have been using dating websites around 10 years your state is better than mine. CC 1 and 1/2 year only met 2 ☝️ of them when I met her i kept staring and looking at her, touching hair and hands is this real or fake which is gave me hope .😁
To be 100% clear - CC is not a dating site. [-Sid]
Had it happen a few times when msg non pros. I think looks Still matter even though most of us say it shouldn't for this site.
Been there, done that, not again! Unless perhaps someone I really trust, such as a partner. Which even then will be done on my own accord. Heck, I even had a few guys I video called with hung up on me abruptly. One of them gave an excuse, said he'd call back *momentarily. Never to be heard from again. Been blocked too. Though at least that gives you a chance to see them too.
I probably have an idea or two about why some of them would do that and none of which I really have any control over. And still the same would happen when I'd put in a lot of effort to try to 'control' some of those things. Only for it to end up in vain. So it got me thinking, I ain't spending so much effort only for them to possibly still hung up on me in a matter of like a few seconds and/or block me. I'm showing the real, presentable me. If they don't like it, they can take a hike. I'm not angry at all, well... okay, I am somewhat. I'm not the never bothered saint I wish I were. :P
Their loss for being judgemental, inconsiderate and quite superficial. Life went on, emotional scar after another, I learned to deal with it all better. There have been times that many I spoke with still treated me well. Ocassionally I'd get some guys "confront" me about one of those things. Only for me to set them straight and let them know that not everyone in a given catagory fits perfectly in a box. I'm glad when they make an effort to talk about it. Even if their ignorance causes them to come off as confrontational at first. At least then, they'd learn something valuable. Though I somewhat digress.
Even when I end up interacting with someone I so don't fancy, so long as they are kind: I'm willing to at least give them a bit of my time and not drop them like a hot potato. While also balancing with not leading them on, depending on the context. Cause it's important to let people know that no matter their looks, they are worth seeing and being cordial towards. Unfortunately not everyone * has it in them * to be cordial to others who they don't deem eye candy. Or whom they can't get things like the illusion of fame/rich by proxy from.