100% Honest

quixotic_lifequixotic_life
in General

Inspired by comments in another thread...

To what degree are you honest on Cuddle Comfort? From how you portray yourself in the forums, to your bio, to PM's to when you meet in real life...

Secondary question...
How do you go about the vetting process? What measures do you typically take in order to feel confident about your safety?

No judgment or right/wrong answers...
There will undoubtedly be a wide range in how we all approach things, and I'm not here to say one way is any better than the other, but I am curious to see how people respond and where this goes.

  1. How honest are you on CC? Be honest...89 votes
    1. Always! ~ 100%
      55.06%
    2. 90% +
      24.72%
    3. 75% +
      10.11%
    4. 50% +
        4.49%
    5. 25% +
        2.25%
    6. 1% +
        1.12%
    7. Never!
        2.25%
«1

Comments

  • Mela_BMela_B

    I'm 100 percent the same here as I am in real life.

    As far as safety goes, I run like hell when there are red flags. I am fairly confident in my safety here and as I move through the world. I realize not everyone feels this way and, of course, has different ways of protecting themselves.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Always 💯 although there are questions I would decline to answer if they came up such as where I work, business number. I wouldn’t give my address out unless the session was at my place. I would never share a picture of my drivers license, you’re asking for identity theft if you do that. I wouldn’t show my license in person unless she’s willing to do the same. As far as vetting, I generally only see pros who have karma. I trust the process. I am a man though and I completely understand why females need to be more careful.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    When I started cuddling I made a clear and conscious decision to be as honest and open and genuine as possible. I reiterated that decision when I joined CC.

    I've written a bit about safety on here, and I follow my own advice. On the rare occasion when I bend the rules I do so thoughtfully and carefully. It turns out that my gut is quite a good indicator of trouble, so I pay close attention. I've never run into serious difficulty in cuddling, but I am conscious that I'm more vulnerable than I look and I'm actually quite careful. I've done a fair bit of internet dating, and met people from the internet in other contexts, and all that experience helps.

    Not that cuddling or meeting people from the internet is particularly dangerous - it isn't. But it is like crossing a busy road: if you don't listen and look left and right you might get run over.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
    edited November 2021

    I'm %100 honest
    I'm not scared about my safety , I'm a man
    Only scared of getting fraud or scam as @Morpheus said.
    I'm a victim of scam many times that's what's worrying me. Meeting someone on internet it's really dangerous.

    Sorry 🤗 if I was against virtual video because I'm just sensitive of getting judged.
    I did my first virtual video with a beautiful pro 😍,it was fine ony 3 minutes comfortable talk .
    Now I'm with virtual video. ID ect

    I listen to crime stories every day, it's not only about sexual safety there are other reasons we must be aware of . ☝️ Like kidnapping, body parts it's like gold , black mail, if someone stole private pictures or u married and getting black mail to give money or they tell your husband,wife boyfriend/girlfriend or family. 1 woman committed suicide because of that wicked person took alot money from her sorry for her . He black mailed her
    ,really dangerous meeting someone on internet.

    Thanks for your post @quixotic_life 🙏 big greetings to you

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited November 2021

    I’m a rarity as one of the few people on CC who is open about who they are outside of CC and is open outside of CC about being on CC. I am the only member I’ve ever seen who has a video in their profile— not embedded, because the CC software system doesn’t support it, but linked to my ages-old public YouTube account. I’ve told my family, friends, and colleagues I’m a professional cuddler, and I’ve blogged, vlogged, and posted on social media about cuddling and professional cuddling — little good it has done me. I’ve been honest on CC about not getting any bookings in the months that I’ve been a pro — except for one video session booking recently that hasn’t happened yet.

    I figure since I’ve had an active public presence for so long, that should be in my favor in terms of proving by identity and credibility to potential cuddle partners. As far as my screening them, I am very upfront in my profile about keeping things strictly platonic, I reiterate that when anybody asks about booking with me (which has only been a few times), and I have required video calls for screening before I’ll meet someone in person. Unfortunately, the few guys who requested to book me flaked on their video calls, so I haven’t even had one yet. (Well, I did have one once before I turned pro, with someone who knew I was working on becoming a pro, but that’s it.)

    I’ve tried to balance my disillusionment with optimism while being honest and not phoney. I’ve tried to balance candor with tact in discussion forum posts. I’m pretty much an open book. I respect others’ need for privacy, and understand that not everybody is like me, can be like me, or even should be like me. I even wonder if at some point my openness will bite me in the butt. But that’s just how I am— coined the term marygirl as the counterpart to tomboy to describe my personality and gender identity at the age of five, told my mom I thought I was attracted to boys and men at the age of 11, came out to everybody at the age of 15, was the publicity director for the gay and lesbian association at university at the age of 18 (in 1985, long before it was fashionable), and have never gone back in the closet for any man, thank-you-very-much. The cat’s out of the bag on the cuddling front as well, so I’ll probably never go back in the closet about being a cuddler, either.

    Oh, and my potential cuddle buddies/clients know I'm in a relationship, and my partner knows I cuddle them.

  • [Deleted User]Tazman5307 (deleted user)

    I have only cuddled two people here in this site. She was aware of my status when I saw her and by being clear as to where I was it made it easier for her to relax and be herself.

    The second time I cuddled I was single at the time and of course I made it more relaxing that way. The first time I cuddled with that person she knew I was in a relationship that completely lacked touch and intimacy and that way and she help me feel better and more complete by embracing me

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited November 2021

    To ensure anonymity and safety , care should be taken in ones bio about publically disclosing impairments , and physical disabilities.

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    I'm with @Mela_B on this. 💯

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited November 2021

    It's a bit of a silly thread, but I'm 💯 on here. I use my real name in communications. Stuff I don't want to answer is left blank, and if there is something I get asked I'd rather not answer, I'm clear about that. There are reasons why I do this work which are a bit vulnerable to me still, so I don't put those on my profile. I will often share those when within a container of safety, like in a therapy session or during a Cuddle Party I'm hosting, for example. My pictures are real and recent. If I host, it's at my home, but I'll only do that after meeting up online or in a public place, and after I know their full name. I will not do a session with anyone just booking under a moniker or assumed name. My friends and family all know what I do and why I do it, and while some are weirded out by it, they are all supportive.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I am dishonest. I am not really an airplane.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod

    @Funcartel 😂😂🤣

  • hifigeorgehifigeorge

    I ticked the 100 percent box on the survey. I guess I could've omitted to mention that I'm blind, but I've found that letting people know has given better results than not doing so. Yes, I suppose it leaves me a bit vulnerable. This leads to the safety part. My wife has been with me to meet any prospective cuddlers. She's not a security guard, but she would be able to warn me if something wasn't right. Even before that, I usually try to pick up any cues from the pre-session conversation. Having said that, I'v not had any trouble as yet.

  • [Deleted User]ernesto_2 (deleted user)

    Rhetorical question, but how will we ever know if folks who said 100% were being honest (even with themselves)? 🤪

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited November 2021

    @ernesto_2 Because they 💯said so. If the world from the past few years has taught us anything is that if you present a lie as fact enough times a segment of people will accept it as fact. I have a cadre of fans looking to cuddle an airplane. Fact.

  • rajkumarcaresrajkumarcares

    To thine own self be true.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
    edited November 2021

    We shouldn't say 100% 90% they are people have High morals , I'm improving my morals. I have been sacked from my job for been honest , 1 time a customer swore at me then I swore back, and my manager asked me : did you swear at him ,i said yes,then by by 👋👋 in some situations u shouldn't be honest. Been honest sometimes put you in trouble and maybe people take advantage of you .
    Been honest it's good for you in the unseen only.

  • cookiecrumbcookiecrumb

    I'll admit that I portray myself better than I am, sometimes. I am going through a hard time, and I don't like where I am. So I struggle to take care of myself the way I should. I know better, but I'm not better all the time. But I have learned that in order to get joy, you have to give joy. It is easier for me to get a smile by giving one away. And sometimes that is the only thread I have to hang on to. I am more honest with people about my personal life in PM than I am on the forums. I have found that people can be very judgy and unkind on the forums (or anywhere, really), and that isn't good for me or anyone else. I don't like seeing other people in pain or being attacked, so sometimes I will come to their defense, because I have a huge sense and capacity for empathy, and I don't like other people being in pain on account of someone else. I internalize a lot, and that's not good for me. I'll write a limerick or a poem that will make someone smile because I need it, not necessarily because I'm happy. And this is about as honest as I can be about my "level" of honesty.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    To what degree are you honest on CC? Very much so, the only difference is that online I’m more outgoing / extrovert / comfortable / open & In real life I’m more reserved / introvert / timid / shy.

    How do you go about the vetting process? Profiles / bio’s …. When I read their words I get a sense of how & who they are… empty profiles & just pics can be misleading. Nothing beats words.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited November 2021

    @Ahmedali999 you are right, being honest isn't always pleasant or convenient for you in the moment. But trust me, it is always the best for you. Quite honestly, if you were working for me and I learned that you swore at a customer, I'd fire you too. If I were feeling particularly sympathetic and generous, I'd arrange for you to have some training in how to deal with angry customers so you don't respond in that way, but I certainly don't have to do that. The truth is, had you not been truthful, you would have been found out and fired anyways. Being fired under that circumstance would almost certainly have been worse were your future employer want a reference from where you worked before.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @CuddlesByDeep %100 i agree with you ☝️but if i lied i wouldn't have been fired .

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited November 2021

    You never know, @Ahmedali999 — if you had lied and said you hadn't sworn at the customer, and your boss had found out that you had sworn at them, they would have had two reasons to fire you.

    [EDIT: Basically what @CuddlesByDeep said.]

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited November 2021

    @Ahmedali999 ”but if I lied I wouldn’t have been fired” 😅😂 gold!

    & I agree with everything you said, the most I’ll go with a lie are things like my friends / circle ect asking me “let’s go hang out”, & maybe at that moment I rather be at the comfort of my home researching & relaxing, & I’ll say “I don’t feel good”… or my oldest sister who I love to death asking me to stop by & come over for dinner, and she doesn’t know how to cook … @ all 🥺 & I’ve tried after many years to see & still , so I’ll say, “thank you soo much but i just finished eating” even if I’m hungry … things like this, I would never lie to deceive or get over someone.

    Edit: before ever lying, I’ll just say nothing at all.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @nurturingman it could be, in our modern world lie is a fashion lol.
    @cuddles_ndream lol where you been these days holiday from CC lol.
    In those circumstances u have to ☝️ but i don't call lies, u have to get away sometimes, like my job when they call me to cover i say I'm busy.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Thanks @Ahmedali999 lol I’ve just been about 70% of my time in my blockchain passion, literally immersed in this world for the last couple of weeks, the other time just work & sleep …I’m just relentless when trying to meet a goal in this space but finally I’m able to catch a break (kinda lol), hope everything is well on your side & yes I agree with your continued statement.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @cuddles_ndream Were you 💯 about the 70% of your time?

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Funcartel No, I’m pretty sure is more than 70% lol 😂

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @cuddles_ndream lol are you honest, maybe you been busy with different enthusiasts cuddlers 🤣

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited November 2021

    @Ahmedali999 lol 😂 not at all

  • Chris04Chris04
    edited November 2021

    @quixotic_life
    Regarding my profile,,, %100 true.
    Now.....
    Ok, watch.... I personally suffer a lot from depression
    ( for the ones reading this no im not looking for sympathy. No body had a perfect life)
    Wen I see a Pro Cuddler, I NEVER! Take this
    Vibe/Energy.

    For me, all the times I've met a pro cuddler.
    They comes first ( all most has if im the Pro cuddler n Not the client)
    I wory they feel comfortable n they they feel safe. I always try for them to have great time.

    The reason for this is,,, I've come a long way from cuddling all this years. And wat I learn is.
    If want an amazing cuddling sesh,,,
    It'll depend a lot on the energy I bring in.
    Because the Vibe/Energy i bring in t I thats exactly what im taking back.
    In another Thread I mentioned, if im going to pay some one to listen to my problems, for that I have my Psychologist. To cuddle, thats to get Oxytocin.
    Now... Am I not been %100 honest because im not been truly my self?

  • [Deleted User]Kintsugi (deleted user)

    In terms of personality yes, I think its hard to fake being someone I'm not.

    But details are often hidden, there are things I don't like to reveal because often times others have no business knowing that type of information about me. Unfortunately, I feel that pros need to be extremely careful to protect themselves from unsavory clients. It's also the reason I'll never be able to host in my home for fear of stalking/retaliation. That being said, I absolutely love it when a client feels they can be themselves around me.

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