@Ironman294
Seems much more platonic than a massage.
Errr ..... there is nothing more platonic than a massage.
Sure, there are types of massage that are not platonic, but they have adjectives with them. When you just say 'massage' you are talking about an utterly platonic activity. It involves touch, and is therefore within the remit of this website.
'Plus one' is a role from the Companionship industry. This website operates in the cuddle/touch industry. The two can overlap, hence the use of the term "grey area", but simply accompanying somebody to an event is unequivocally companionship. An astonishing number of people are unfamiliar with companionship but you find in all over the place, for example in Jane Austen novels. There is no sexual connotation whatsoever.
I don't think listing all those non-cuddling odd jobs is appropriate here. When cuddling is approached as just another side hustle, bad things can happen. Being a cuddle pro requires a deep understanding of cuddle clients, and should be approached with dedication.
@nurturingman seconded.
I don't know, I guess it depends on the person.
One individual I have met through here we've had an awesome discussion on lesser seen farm implements. And I sent him a whole series of texts with photos of it as I was using it today.
Some people can drain you, others recharge you with genuine interests and communication. And for me as an enthusiast, I wouldn't even begin to put a price on genuine.
@greshpo yea, a lot of what’s on that profile is not meant for this site. House cleaning, car detailing. Stuff like that has nothing to do with spending time with your cuddler and creating a connection. Also, the mods have said that straight up offering massages are usually a no no. Unless they are registered as a massage therapist, I’m some places, it’s illegal. So, there’s a huge amount on that profile that aren’t appropriate for the site.
Regarding pros advertising massage: it is illegal in most states in the U.S. If they are a licensed massage therapist, they are not allowed to combine cuddling with massage. If they are not a licensed massage therapist, they are not allowed to advertise massage. Either way it’s illegal.
I’m not sure how texting fits with cuddling.
I’m uneasy with all this advertising for going on vacation with people, etc. Personally, I’d like to see the focus stay on cuddling. It’s not that I’m opposed to people doing other stuff as part of it but advertising that as a service seems to water down the focus.
I can’t believe anyone would vote no to any of those platonic services , like whaaaat? The only thing wrong would be trying to circumvent the site from its fee, other than that why not?
Honestly it really depends on what each individual wants. I know a lot of people really want the experience of getting to know the other person and/or want to be more involved as a friend. But at the same time where DOES one draw the line and what should be considered acceptable? It's an interesting topic for discussion.
I don't have a menu, but I have accompanied people on all sorts of activities. I've gone to formal parties, sat at a fire and drank wine while having long meandering conversations, concerts, sat next to them on flights, been a dance partner, I've gone to Disneyland! .. and many simple dinner outings, if I didn't prepare a proper roasted chicken for a lonely homesick soul in a big mean city. Sometimes cuddling would be a really small part of it, if it happened at all. None of these were my idea, except for making dinner when I could detect someone was missing Mom. Almost all of my first sessions start with a massage if I detect my cuddle buddy is nervous. It's a gentle, non-confrontational way to nurture, and build trust and rapport. This time Last year, all of my "cuddles" took place "virtually". People need social support in lots of different ways, and cuddling strangers doesn't come easy to everyone. Not everyone is "touch starved" or has "skin hunger", but still feel a longing for some kind of affirmation, interaction, attention. Of all the bad behavior that goes on here, It's befuddling this gets called out.
People need social support in lots of different ways, and cuddling strangers doesn't come easy to everyone. Not everyone is "touch starved" or has "skin hunger", but still feel a longing for some kind of affirmation, interaction, attention. Of all the bad behavior that goes on here, It's befuddling this gets called out. - @biancalovecraft
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
@biancalovecraft Your empathy and intuition are a credit to you. I'm grateful for each human being in this world who is able to shine light and warmth into the lives of others.
I believe that there are two main principles to guide what goes on in a session here:
If those principles are followed, there shouldn't be a problem. I think it's good to remember that #1 is the same for everyone, while #2 is not.
One of the unexpected benefits that cuddling has brought me, is the opportunity to practice negotiating about what falls under #2. I used to be afraid of making requests for things I wanted in life, assuming the answer would always be no. The yeses have been delightful, and no's have not been as painful as I used to think they'd be.
I've enjoyed things that don't necessarily have to include touch in order to be enjoyable, like going to a movie, or just chatting. For my next scheduled session, we are planning to get dinner at a nearby hookah lounge. I believe all these things are in the spirit of CC.
@biancalovecraft Very well said! Could not agree more! @JoyfulHeart I agree that the two items you mention should be the basis by which we decide what is acceptable or welcomed on this site - though it seems those speaking out would feel only cuddling should be offered through cuddle comfort regardless of benefits to others or the fact that these are all elective options. Even when within consenting adults and within the terms and conditions set by the site as it waters down the site, or deviates too far from just the act of cuddling. If I remember correctly, the intro page to sign up on CC shows two people cuddling in front of a tv and says something to the effect of, ‘begin a friendship based around cuddling.’ That image or purposed culture absolutely falls in line with connectivity beyond falling into a strangers arms to cuddle. I would find it hard to view that page and think only cuddling should be allowed and nothing else surrounding friendship such as platonic adventures, phone calls or texting, ect. Beyond this my personal experience has been that cuddling interlaced with other platonic interactions strengthens my bond with my cuddle partner and seriously enhances the comfort and connectivity within cuddle sessions. Again, that’s been my personal experience. Also, in a totally separate and organic conversation someone I had the pleasure of platonically connecting with and didn’t even get to cuddle shared his sentiments with me which definitely make sense. I’ll include a picture as this sharing happened through text. Anyway, much respect to those who choose only to cuddle and of course to those who prefer variation, and big hopes that CC continues to provide a platform in which people can electrically choose what best suits them.
I believe that those who speak from experience and have tried certain approaches and succeeded know that those choices can be ethical and effective, and those who say “I would never…” are suffering from a lack of imagination. I have learned through studying demand-control schema for the past 16 years, and participating in and leading case supervision with other ASL/English interpreters for the past 8 years, that whether a certain action is "good" and "works" depends on mitigating and militating circumstances. When practitioners come together and discuss their work with an open mind, we discover that things we thought we would never do can in reality make perfect sense to do when conditions are favorable. For example, as a man in a committed, monogamous relationship, I might say "I would never share a bed overnight with a cuddle client," but if a person whose life partner recently died can't sleep at night I might do an overnight session with that client, and I think my partner would understand that I was helping someone in need. This has not happened yet, but my training in self-reflection and ethical decision making allows me to use my imagination to say "I might do that if…" instead of "I would never do that."
Robyn Dean & Bob Pollard, who created the demand-control schema (2001) from Robert Karasek's job demand control model (1979), teach that in all situations there is a spectrum of controls, or choices or actions, from conservative (tending toward inaction) to liberal (tending toward action). At the far ends of the spectrum are controls that are so egregious that they are ineffective and unethical, but in the middle there is a whole range of controls that are effective and ethical. To apply this to cuddling, there are actions (or inactions) outside the ethical and effective range that are too conservative, such as having a session and refusing to touch a perfectly respectful client, and that are too liberal, such as doing sexual favors. Yet there are so many choices that can work and be good in ways you might not imagine unless you are in a particular situation. It is up to each person to obey rules and laws yet keep an open mind to the myriad ways they can operate within those rules and laws that can work and be good.
I think my opinion on all this has been changed some. For the most part, just because I think a "cuddle" is XYZ, doesn't mean those who fall elsewhere in the alphabet are wrong. I suppose it's the idea of one paying for the companionship that bothers me a little. But the fact is there are a number of reasons one may have for going that route, and it's really none of my business, nor is it my place to judge the harmless activities of others.
Also, @nurturingman ~ I really appreciated and took to heart much of what you put forth in that last post. Thank you for all the ways you show up and express yourself here... 💞
@xandriarain said "I think it's ok to do other activities during a cuddle session, for example getting a meal or going on a walk, playing a board game, etc as long as it's done in conjunction with a cuddle session. Getting paid to be a date to an event seems to cross the line into escorting."
She is 100% correct. Cuddling isn't a date. I think getting paid JUST to go on dates, etc. crosses the line into escorting. And how does it work? How do you introduce yourselves? Is it your date? Friend? What will you say when somebody asks about the person you are with?
I have no problem paying for cuddling because I often pay for massages. Both cuddling and massages are therapeutic in so many ways. Paying somebody JUST to spend time with you seems very awkward Sadly, you won't know the other person's true intentions. I ask my friends their honest opinions all the time and they give me their brutal honesty. How could I trust somebody's true opinion if I am paying them to be with me?
@cuddler8900 do your friends know you would pay somebody JUST to cuddle? If so, did you ask for their honest opinion & were they brutally honest?
@cuddles_ndream
I do! They thought it was interesting and wanted to know more. I even had one friend who tried it a few times. Like I said, cuddling is similar to a massage. You pay somebody for therapeutic benefits.
@cuddler8900 ok
This is about touch being a necessary component of health, and promoting the services that provide healthy touch. Straying beyond that opens doors that invite people who don't share our similar concerns for healthy touch. We could get overwhelmed by non-cuddlers.
It all seems like a grift or a hustle now. Kind of like taking advantage of the fact people were locked in their homes for year and half and are scared to even talk to people or do their shopping. The main attraction was for cuddle therapy. I feel this site is getting away from that core philosophy is going down a bad path.
One needs to maximize revenue extraction from clients! Where there is a needy niche there is money to be made.
I am really not interested in the menu of extra activities but we are all adults here. If someone wants to do those activities and cuddle then I really don’t care. It is none of my business. If the site allows it then that is Mark’s business.
My concern would be if new pros started popping up who don't have cuddling on the menu. I'm here for contact and connection. If you offer other services, and want to advertise here, I'm not strictly opposed to it. I probably won't be interested in most of it. I just wouldn't want to come to a cuddling website, and have to go through profile after profile trying to find someone who actually offers cuddling. If advertising here I think the site should get a cut as usual.
As others have said before, there are regional legal issues with advertising massages and other licensed professional services. That alone probably doesn't make it make sense for Mark to officially condone, as the site would be partially liable if legal issues arose.