Have you ever felt a pain so deep where no one understands you? Well they see your physical appearance and just assume your fine but never ask what’s wrong on the inside?
Yes.
Me too
Yes. Every day
To suffer, is to be Human.
Howecer, if we didn't experience pain, we wouldn't be able to recognize joy
if we didn't experience pain, we wouldn't be able to recognize joy
That's not true. All we need to recognise joy is a state that is not joy, in order for there to be a comparison. There is no need whatsover for that other state to be pain.
Hmm, now it is a question of degrees.
Pain and joy are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Maybe one can experience joy without having experienced pain, but they would not be able to experience it to the degree of someone who has experienced pain.
I think i agree with @MCcuddles2 if we don't have the night, we wouldn't recognise the morning. @MCcuddles2 your words are from philosophy. the world is balanced,there is good and bad
Frankie Beverly & Maze understand what Joy and Pain is all about:
@MCcuddles2 is right to an extent. I think experience is the word that is incorrect. I think it should be “without pain we wouldn’t appreciate joy”. That is the human condition because to only have joy becomes mundane and goes unappreciated. Same premise as what people level at the old money ultra rich that they do not understand or know the suffering of the poor because they have never experienced being poor to appreciate the wealth. And as @Ahmedali999 pointed out this is philosophy and religion as well. On more than one occasion it has been noted that one cannot truly grasp what is good unless they understand the antithesis of good. Without the antithetical we are dumb animals existing in a state of just being.
@MCcuddles2 it's a well-established argument, but it doesn't make any sense. What continuum? If there is a continuum, why should it be a straight line?
The absence of pain is not joy. Joy and pain can happen simultaneously.
The claim is that expertise in pain is a necessary requirement for experiencing grade A joy. Why? How does that work?
If that's all true, then surely experience of very high degrees of joy must necessarily be a requirement to experience the maximum degree of pain. We know what the maximum degree of pain is, it is when people kill themselves (if they have the means and opportunity). By your logic, anybody who kills themselves must neccessarily have previously experienced joy of an intensity that most people simply never encounter.
@CuddleDuncan Suicide is not necessarily the highest degree of pain because we are not privy to a suicide’s true feelings. I would think the highest form of pain is the desire to end things but being prevented from doing so. This is a torture technique—someone begging to die but not giving them that relief.
I also think you ignored @MCcuddles2 saying we are talking about degrees. Suicide can be promoted by the absence of joy which means they know what joy is but they are unable to feel it.
@CuddleDuncan I'm certainly no philosophical expert so there's parts of this I'm not totally confident speaking on, but I'd like to know what evidence we have that suicide reflects some maximum degree of pain. I perceive that's another highly subjective opinion being stated as fact as though there aren't many who would object or offer different interpretations....
@John2548 , if someone’s external appearance indicates there is no problem there is no reason for another person to ask what is wrong.
I’m not sure I understand the question or whether it’s the right question to ask. How do we know whether someone else understands our pain or not?
Of course. One of the requirements of being human my dear.
I hope you are getting help.
They say that hell is crowded, yet, when you’re in hell, you always seem to be alone. & you can’t tell anyone when you’re in hell or they’ll think you’re crazy & being crazy is being in hell & being sane is hellish too.
those who escape hell, however, never talk about it & nothing much bothers them after that. I mean, things like missing a meal, going to jail, wrecking your car, or even the idea of death itself.
when you ask them, “how are things?” they’ll always answer, “fine, just fine…”
once you’ve been to hell and back, that’s enough it’s the greatest satisfaction known to man.
once you’ve been to hell and back, you don’t look behind you when the floor creaks and the sun is always up at midnight and things like the eyes of mice or an abandoned tire in a vacant lot can make you smile once you’ve been to hell and back.
Charles Bukowski from Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame🤫
I wear my heart on my sleeve and feel deeply but thats who i am and I try not to care so much but my heart won't allow it
Have you ever felt a pain so deep where no one understands you?
No. Probably that’s because I’ve never felt a pain deeper than the human emotions other humans have felt, so I’ve always found someone to understand the pain I was going through.
Well they see your physical appearance and just assume your fine but never ask what’s wrong on the inside?
If I’m working, I’m there to serve others and make it about them, so I temporarily push my personal feelings aside. If I’m suffering so much I can’t hide it, though, I don’t work; I take a mental health day. If a loved one dies, I’ll take a whole mental health week— I sit shiva and ask others to sit with me while I experience my emotions. I find the company of non-humans (pets) comforting as well, since even they seem to understand human emotions.
I’ve also been through psychotherapy several times in my life, and I highly recommend it if and when you feel so awful you think nobody else understands you. Just remember, there is no emotion a human being can feel that other human beings haven’t felt before. If you can’t find one person to relate to you, keep looking!
P.S. When I was younger, up until my early 20s, there were times when I felt that nobody else could possibly understand the way I felt. Then I learned that feeling “unique” was not unique at all, but yet another human emotion.
Each of us is unique, yet each of us is human. You are not alone.
@nurturingman put it perfectly.
@John2548 Hi there and WELCOME TO THE SITE!!!! What an interesting and thought provoking question and thread. Good on you for being brave enough to put it out there for the community to engage in. What a FABULOUS and welcoming smile you have. Thank you for actually filling out your profile and good luck to you on here. I think its a beautiful community to be a part of. 😊
I do feel like there are lots of times that its a challenge to get others to understand your perspective or what you are CURRENTLY going through, unless they have experienced some of the same things themselves. Kind of like empathy vs. sympathy type stuff. It does seem like there are so many peeps in this world going through/having gone through painful experiences that maybe someone could relate.... but it is certainly a challenge when you feel isolated because of your pain.
I feel like this is one of the most difficult parts of connecting. When you feel pressure to "present" a certain image, whether it be societally influenced or whether your friends just don't want to deal with your "heavy stuff"..... I feel like I want to make sure I have a few people who can see through my smile or my words that say "I'm ok" and ask for the REAL feelings and what might be wrong on the inside. This is such an interesting thought. For example..... The standard greeting of "Good morning. How are you?" I wouldn't necessarily want to share with people in an elevator my biggest fears and struggles..... but I WOULD want my closest friends to ask how I am on a deeper level.
And then.... I'm actually with @Babichev and wonder if I'm even answering the question you are asking.
I hope you have every beautiful thing in your NY world and its not just a beautiful smile that is hiding all of the extraordinary pain. HUGS to YOU!!!!
@FunCartel well said 👌 if we never suffer illness,we wouldn't appreciate the health,without sadness wouldn't appreciate the happiness
I'm always in pain and feel incomplete,but cuddle made me forget the pain
As a neurodivergent with a long history of trauma and abuse I can say without a shadow of a doubt