Overcoming Language Barriers w/ Cuddle Buddies?

CuddlePlatonicCuddlePlatonic
in General

I just recently joined and haven't been in a cuddling session yet while I learn appropriate guidelines and tips to being a good platonic cuddler.

I'm curious if anyone has experience with language barriers (or even cultural barriers) in their cuddling sessions? Maybe tips to overcoming them?

I'm terribly shy so it is a a fear of mine that I will offend someone or not be able to communicate my boundaries. I don't only want to cuddle people from my race and culture though.

I'm trying to be as prepared as possible to have mutually beneficial sessions, but I feel that some cultures are more traditional/patriarchal than American culture has become. Perhaps they would have different expectations or different ideas of how the woman cuddler should behave?

Just overthinking as usual haha if y'all have experiences or tips relating to this let me know

Comments

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    I think 2 respectful people who do not share the same language at all can have a successful platonic cuddle.

  • CuddlePlatonicCuddlePlatonic

    Agreed, but determining if the other party is respectful is more difficult when there's a language barrier. In a perfect world I would just meet up with anyone on the site for a session knowing they only want platonic connection, but I need to be more cautious than that.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    You’re right! & In that case its best (imo) to reach out with people where there’s no language barrier at all, where everything is understood, to not 2nd guess any type of communication (but even with the same language this is a problem) … karmas will be your best friend here as well as your inner voice (your gut instincts) … you have a really good profile & you leave no stones unturned.

  • panda619panda619

    Brother, race has never crossed my mind. You’re over thinking. Maybe some pros who left me on read care but the ones that have seen me don’t lol.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited November 2021

    @CuddlePlatonic you're being cautious and that's a good way to start. Sounds like you are doing a good job of reading your way around the forum and picking up the good advice here.

    I suspect that you may indeed be overthinking the whole cultural/language thing. The risk of you giving offence strikes me as virtually zero. Anyway, cuddling has a protocol to prevent it - you just discuss things first. "During the session, I'm hoping we might do this or that: how do you feel about that?" "Would it be ok if I put my hand here?"

    As for the other person's expectations of 'how a woman cuddler should behave' .... well, just behave however you want to as long as it's within the Terms of Service. Their expectations are a matter for them. If you do cross one of their boundaries, it's their job to say so nicely, and your job to respond appropriately.

    I feel you might benefit from meeting up with other cuddlers over coffee, just to talk about all this. Perhaps even consider hiring an experienced professional for an hour, not necessarily to cuddle but to talk it all through, get some tips, and maybe even try some touch or boundary exercises. Start with messaging, then move to whatsapp, then phone or video, then meeting up.

    Some of this may be difficult if you are shy. However, I can tell you that there are plenty of people on Cuddle Comfort who are shy. You don't see much of them on the forum, for obvious reasons, but given the overall gender inbalance here I would guess there are far more shy men than shy women.

    Your profile is good, you are thinking about this and you are posting on the forum. Those are all green flags. You're going to be fine.

  • LovelightLovelight

    "Agreed, but determining if the other party is respectful is more difficult when there's a language barrier."

    That's a valid concern. My advise is to try to converse with the person til you are at a level you feel comfortable and can understand each other relatively well. Converse with everyone actually with or without language barrier. I believe that anyone who speaks a language at least at an intermediate level, very well understands no. And can understand simple things like this:

    "Some of my boundaries:

    -No Kissing
    -No Hands on Bikini areas
    -No sexual comments/ conversations
    -If at any time I feel uncomfortable and want to leave do not try to convince me to stay"

    If someone doesn't understand something, it is their responsibility to ask for clarification.

    Also not everyone who is associated with certain cultures or religions is strictly of said thing either. Or even remotely said thing. If they took it all like a 100%, they probably wouldn't be here. So by being here you know that they likely aren't that different from you. And they've no business dictating how you as a woman should behave as long as you follow the terms of service and are a decent human. Which pretty sure you are. You can go as you are and if they don't like it, they don't gotta be in your company and vice versa. That said, if you know the culture or religion of someone, you can take a little time to get familiar with it. So that you have a bit of an idea of how you may have a better interaction. For example, some cultures are big on having you take off your shoes or maybe change into indoor shoes before entering their home. Which could mean that you get indoor shoes to accommodate that. Or say if you compliment something of theirs, they may feel compelled to give you said thing. Some may feel as though refusing an offer such as drinks and food to be rude, though your safety and comfort comes before all else. So if you ain't comfortable with something or don't know much about it, you have the right to say no.

    And by conversing via messaging and video call, you can get a better idea about their language level. And even ask how long they lived in the state/country you are accustomed to. So you may also get a bit of an about how familiar they are with the culture of where they are. Or the one you most closely associate with. Because being mindful and respectful of others' difference goes both ways.

    You may also find getting familiar with this helpful lol :P

    https://www.realmenrealstyle.com/10-rude-hand-gestures/

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @lovelight you imagine someone going for a kiss, or trying their luck with something inappropriate & when confronted, their response being , “oh but you didn’t state or clarify in your profile that you didn’t want to be kissed ect” … that’s just a p.o.s person , to try to excuse themselves… rules are pinned here, even without ever looking at the rules we know this site is purely platonic / I’m willing to bet that the most respectful members here with the best karmas ever, never not once even looked at the rules, but yes since it happens it is great (like the op did) to re-iterate & be firm & clear , maybe even again when first meeting & before cuddling - my complaint is for anyone who would ever try to “justify or excuse” their unwanted actions.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @cuddles_ndream for sure. Not that I discourage others reinstating. Though I feel reinstating can be a double edged sword at times, because someone could look at profiles that reinstate it and ones that don't, then think that some people don't mind. At the end of the day however, the site is clear about it and each user is responsible for following the TOS.

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