How should I proceed?

Andy1996Andy1996
in General

So I have been here for over a year. And a few weeks ago, I was online shopping for some tickets to an event that I was going to go to. I should also let everyone know that I am visually impaired.
And when I was done shopping for the tickets, I asked my sister if she can help me with them. So I opened up my emails and the tickets were there. However, since I have an iPhone I use the screen reader called voiceover. So I had to turn it off in order for her to use the phone and confirm the purchase.
So she looks at the tickets. And she claimed that something popped up on my phone about me potentially meeting with a cuddler. And I know that this is not true, because I have specific alerts sound set for emails from this website.

She then without me realizing it calls my significant other on her phone and I later found out that she was listening to our argument. My sister is claiming that I should not cuddle with people when I am in a relationship. Even though I specifically asked my girlfriend if she was OK with it. And she said yes.

So I would definitely like opinions on how I should handle this situation. And I thought I would open up about it here.

I never understood those people who seem to think that you should not cuddle in relationships. As I actually think that physical affection is very important. And meeting with people to cuddle has actually cheered me up especially last year during this virus.

Comments

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited November 2021

    “ My sister is claiming that I should not cuddle with people when I am in a relationship. Even though I specifically asked my girlfriend if she was OK with it. And she said yes.”

    ^ there’s the answer! If your g/f sees nothing wrong I don’t know why your sis does 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    There’s no situation to handle. Your gf is fine with it. End of story just tell your sister it’s none of her business. You are welcome! 😁

  • cookiecrumbcookiecrumb

    I don't think anyone else besides you and your significant other should have an opinion about what you and your significant other agreed to. What is ok between you and your significant other is between you and your significant other.
    But it seems like your sister doesn't understand this boundary. The same can be true of in-laws (homewreckers and battle axes). I feel that in order to have the ability to maintain this boundary, while still soliciting the help of your sister, you may need to create a separate email account to handle all the stuff you are willing to let your family see, as opposed to the private stuff you don't want your family to see. While you may be visually impaired, it is my opinion that it is your family that cannot see the boundaries. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

  • SoftHairForDaysSoftHairForDays
    edited November 2021

    It sounds like your sister needs to mind her own business, especially if your significant other is ok with you cuddling. 🤦‍♀️

  • Andy1996Andy1996

    Thank you all for your suggestions. I totally agree with everyone. And I will definitely use a different account for purchases. Or I might just simply forward the ticket information to her. She has no boundaries when it comes to privacy. And I told her that eventually that will get her into trouble.

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited November 2021

    As someone who has worked with and for people with disabilities, I understand that the care and help that family members give their loved ones with disabilities can sometimes lead to paternalism and exploitation. I say this not to cast aspersions on your sister, @Andy1996 , but to say that I think that might explain her overprotective behavior. I agree with others who have said that it’s none of her business.

    It can be challenging any time any of us asks for help and then has to set boundaries on that help and insist that, outside of what we depend on a person for, we are independent. I have learned this as someone Deaf and Deaf-Blind people depend upon to provide a service. Part of my training is understanding my client’s needs, my responsibilities, and my client’s independence that deserves to be respected. I’ve made a few mistakes over the years and been reminded not to “over-help.” I’ve also learned these boundaries as someone who at times asks for help and then has to say, “thanks, that’s all I need; I can take it from here.” I encourage you to enjoy your cuddling as you and your partners see fit.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @Andy1996 As far as your sister is concerned that's tough. I think what you said is good, to somehow have a separation between the two if she doesn't accept the fact that your partner is fine with it. And if you still depend on her. Or you may need to find someone else whom you get along with to help handle your data.

  • [Deleted User]ernesto_2 (deleted user)

    @Andy1996 If you don't mind, I would like to offer a bit of Devil's advocacy here. (Let's be honest, how many advocates does the devil actually have?)

    Is it possible that your partner is uncomfortable with the cuddling, and doesn't know how to approach you about it? Or perhaps Is it possible that your sister fears that cuddling services are a way of making money off of desperate people, and wants to protect you?

    I'm not at all disagreeing with the other responses to this thread, and I do think there is a line that needs to be respected when someone is providing unsolicited advice or is otherwise acting in an overprotective manner.

    My recommendation would be to have another conversation with your partner, and make sure that you are both in harmony. Then, you can approach your sister, maybe even together, so that she can learn to understand, or at least respect, what is a decision you have every right to make for yourself.

    Just my $.02, which I bill directly to Lucifer.

  • funnycuddlesfunnycuddles
    edited November 2021

    After your sister knew your girlfriend was okay with you cuddling other people, a dose of this is recommended for her....

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @funnycuddles lol 😅😂 especially at the “maximum strength” part lol

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    @ernesto_2

    Q: “how many advocates does the devil actually have?”
    A: 666.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @funnycuddles I need a case of that for Christmas. I can dispense it to so many Sick people in need of it. I can be the Florence Nightengale to the a&@holes of the world.

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