@Saysoh Dude, same. I only recently started changing my perspective about intimacy and decided to really just romanticize my life and not my perspective of others.
@simsaddict
I was also thinking about human constructs albeit not a very complete thought. I'm single, never been married, no kids, never really wanted any of that, BUT, I'm constantly asked about those three when I share. Then I'm told I'm missing out and a ton of other opinions and judgemnts I could expand on, but a lot gets lost in text especially in message board format. I made my decision to live however I wanted and it's very concerning I get so much heat about it.
@Babichev, If your experience of being guided by someone, while having your eyes closed worked, it was because of trust -- blind trust.
I my younger days, I taught skiing for a while. One day I was asked if I would consider teaching a blind girl. I said that wanted to try something before answering. I put on a blindfold, and went skiing with another instructor skiing behind me and guiding. At first, it didn't go well at all.
We were getting on the chair lift, and he hollered "sit...NOW!" I hesitated briefly, and got a nasty bruise on the back of my legs. We started down the slope, and I heard "sharp left...NOW!" Again, I hesitated, and again, I paid the price. The mogul I hit flipped me over backwards. I lost track of how many times I fell on that run, but eventually I learned how to trust.
After all that, the bling girl changed her mind about learning to ski, so I never found out if it might have worked. However learning to trust, made the whole thing worthwhile. I have since learned that trust is an important key to establishing an intimate relationship. Without it, the relationship is doomed to failure.
The 6 Mantras of Loving Speech
@Mela_B Yes! I just had my first cuddle session ever this week and I am hooked! The best part of the session though was when i decided to change positions and instead of watching the movie, I turned around and gazed into her eyes! That was an amazing connection and the best!! Like looking into someone's soul and relating to them.
Actions of caring support intimacy. They don't even need to be romantic gestures.
@Greg45 eye contact is magical.
@Saysoh I hear you on the unwarranted/unsolicited opinions about kids, marriage, etc. I stopped expressing my wants and desires for children, a husband, etc, when it garnered unnecessary opinions of other’s perspectives around me. People projected their regrets into me about having children too soon or marrying too soon and not getting the chance to experience life. It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve had to acknowledge the life I’ve always envisioned may not be a reality I’m fortunate to live in one day. And it sucks.
I’m in my head this week. Struggling to feel “safe” with all the stress life has at the moment. + I’ve tried the eye contact but and I don’t prefer making eye contact while cuddling. I get paranoid the other person will try to kiss me.
I really enjoy conversations when I cuddle, especially when the topic is something my cuddle partner is really passionate about (I love that energy). During one session, my cuddle partner suggested a spooning position (I was big spoon) while we talked. I could feel the vibrations of her voice, which nearly lulled me to sleep, It was so calming.
@simsaddict - I totally understand. I am a very eye-contact-oriented speaker, and I once found myself in a crowded room at a party speaking with a friend with only inches between us. During the conversation, she leaned forward and kissed me. After she realized I was was uncomfortable with it, she apologized and admitted that she misread my eye contact. Luckily, we were able to talk about it and enjoy the rest of the night. Since then, though, I've been hesitant about eye contact 'within lip-range'.
@cuddles_ndream I wasnt referring to finding ones ancestry. In fact, my grandma was into geneology and I have volumes of books she put together on our family history. I am referring to "finding yourself" as in accepting yourself for who you have always been with liking the quirks that you do have, when no one else does and tries to change you to fit THEIR opinion on who you should be before they "accept" you.
@saxman i understood that’s what you meant (as far as finding who you are as a person) , as far as the genealogy, i suggested it from the statement , “I never knew my mom & sister”.
@cuddles_ndream What I meant by me never knowing my mom and sister is that they were killed in a car accident (that I was also in) when I was an infant. That still affects me to this day but it is never acknowledged by society because of double standards. Men are expected too be tough, however, if a lady never knew her Dad (or brother) she is almost given a pity party or given help at any age. - Me never knowing my mother is one reason why I have had to use this service because it is the only way I can find some form of nurturing...unless I were to hire a prostitute, but I refuse to lower myself to doing anything like that .