in a specific setting or way? Feel free to also share what cuddling in general taught you.
The amount of self control I have. I oftentimes feel like I’m about to snap on people in my inbox when they send me messages that are flirtatious. Or messages demanding I clear my schedule last minute to accommodate them.
My patience level is consistently being tested. Unfortunately my only solution is to be firm, fair and consistent which means I am cut and dry in messages.
My tolerance for other human beings is drastically dying & I question if I have the “Professional” demeanor in conversations now thanks to my intolerance of piss poor communication I receive on this site.
I’m not always irritable but here lately, it’s the entitlement I’m receiving in messages.
So I've only been able to do public cuddling. And the sparse times I have, it has allowed me to get better at unapologetically voicing my boundaries in what I deem is a safer environment for me. Furthermore I got better at standing by what it is that I want. I've had elsewhere someone go out of his way to basically message me "there is no such thing as platonic cuddling". That made me feel a bit hopeless, though I saw through it and stood by my goal. However long it takes, I know my goals are out there and I will not let anyone discourage me from seeking or waiting for them.
It has also allowed me to discover any other boundaries I have, to take to my next cuddle. I ran into a few bad apples during our first or a few cuddles. And I'm glad I didn't have them over at my home or me at theirs. So it has allowed me a better chance at vetting. Of course, virtually no approach is foolproof, so it's all about increasing our odds how we can.
As much as I am all about cuddles, having and respecting people's boundaries are the foundation of a good cuddle.
Through looking for cuddle partners, I also learned to unapologetically proceed with caution. I've had someone act offended when I said that I can't say so and so for safety reasons. He came across like I was calling him scary, though if I don't know someone and even if I do, I have the right to conduct myself in a manner that makes me feel safe. I felt a bit off by him seemingly taking it personally. I thought about how I can better communicate such boundaries so it doesn't happen again. Though I've so far come to the conclusion that I can't do it any better. And I really have no interest to walk on eggshells, if that's what it takes.
@simsaddict that's awful, sorry to hear it. I can understand where you're coming from. The 'customer' is not always right! Take care of yourself. 🤗
I have learned a few things while here with Cuddle Comfort in this past year.
1) That human touch is essential to my well-being and to the well-being of many whom I have met. As in it has literally changed the energy and motivation in me to keep living and to accomplish real activities in my life, especially difficult activities.
2) That as someone who has cuddled with multiple men and women, that men here on the East Coast of the US often go without touch much more so than women go without touch.
3) That women cuddler enthusiasts receive a number of messages per week, sometimes per day, and that women cuddle Pros often receive dozens in the same day, which can be overwhelming. I have not just heard this, I have seen this with my own eyes from Pros and enthusiasts who have shown me their message lists in the past.
4) That connecting with people is a matter of numbers and volume at first, and takes a good deal of patience, regardless of how much money or status you have, and even at times regardless of how much Karma you have here. If you want to be successful in connecting with people here, you will find more success (especially at first) by reaching out to a number of people, and then to promptly respond to the messages you receive from others here, so that they can see your responses and communication while they are here online at the same time as you.
5) That a number of women have been abused and hurt in their lives, and that an even greater amount more women have been solicited here on this very site in messages and in-person for more than cuddles. And this is not just something I have read in the forum discussions here, but this is something which a number of women cuddler’s, both Pros and enthusiasts, have told me in-person and over Zoom calls.
And
6) You attract the energy which you put out to CuddleComfort, to the world, and to the universe. As good as you may be with your pictures and words, the truth will come out eventually, and true enough, in my experience, many women are much better at reading into the subtleties and emotion behind your words and actions much better than men are. So as clever and shrewd as you think you may be, remember that all humans are pattern-seeking beings, and that more women are even more discerning than men are; *(though there are exceptions to this too with some very self-aware and discerning men.)
In a short words, life is beautiful and is worth to live, before life is just hell,suffering ect
@simsaddict I couodnt agree more. Dont get me wrong I love meeting new people and cuddling and making connections, but some people just feel entitled to you in so many ways it's really unacceptable. It's tough not to let it make you jaded.
I've learned that the reasons I don't get physical affection/ cuddles at home have little to nothing to do with me or my appearance. This has changed my outlook on life.
@simsaddict I'm sorry that happened to you.
Without going into details about my personal story, I'll only share that cuddle therapy has been a godsend for me. I'm so thankful that pros like you are offering this service!
@NicoSnuggs 👌👌👌👌 @simsaddict > > my only solution is to be firm, fair and consistent which means I am cut and dry in messages.
I’ll answer this question as to what cuddling ( while on this site as a pro / paid cuddler ) has taught me …
I’ve learned a lot about boundaries, respect and consent. Not everyone feels comfortable expressing their boundaries, likes and dislikes especially upon first meeting. Cuddling provides a safe space to state and hold boundaries and also empower one another to vocalize their individual needs and wants.
My big take away has been just how impactful cuddling has been for ME as a practitioner of platonic touch. I realized very quickly this would be a platform by which I could help people meet their needs and hopefully improve their lives but have been blown away by the personal positive benefits. As a single mother the benefits of holding, being held, caring for and being cared for through cuddling sessions often leaves me feeling recharged, safe and just seriously boosts my over all feeling of well being. Grateful.
@Nature_Lover_ > My big take away has been just how impactful cuddling has been for ME as a practitioner of platonic touch. I realized very quickly this would be a platform by which I could help people meet their needs and hopefully improve their lives but have been blown away by the personal positive benefits. As a single mother the benefits of holding, being held, caring for and being cared for through cuddling sessions often leaves me feeling recharged, safe and just seriously boosts my over all feeling of well being. Grateful. I agree with all what you said.
Cuddling has taught me endless compassion and love for humankind. I love the people I meet so much.
Some people suck at honoring boundaries, so I'm getting real good about standing up for mine, which is probably the most helpful thing that I have learned and am learning. How to flex my boundaries muscle!
Nurturing Dad Energy is a real force of nature, one of my favorite things a person can have.
People go inward infinitely. I never lose my capacity to be surprised.
Ive learned that many cuddlers want you to understand boundaries, provide clear communication and be considerate of their time. from what ive observed from my sessions its having those 3 things ive listed be the most Valuable traits to have.
I've learned that I can make my boundaries known and not feel pressured into compromising them.
As an new enthusiast I spend time conversing over messenger and text getting to know someone and watching for inconsistencies.
I seem to connect better with other introverts as we are comfortable with long periods of silence. My primary love languages are acts of service and quality time.
For me, this means cooking a meal to share or just cuddling up giving a back rub while the other person can quietly soak in the attention and touch. Sometimes being able to talk on a deeper level has allowed me to open up and share my life. Much of which I dont talk about with many people.
The quiet, non-judgmental, accepting space between my regular cuddle buddies and I have allowed us to talk about the deeper issues of life and know we are safe from judgement and hurtful responses.
