"I mean….even the site calls it cuddle therapy."
Emphasis on the word cuddle, not talk therapy. The OP complained clients wanted to cuddle, while the OP wants to engage in talk therapy with them. That's the problem. This site is not for searching out talk therapy, it's for cuddling. Reread the OP.
" If you’d like me to overlook your bullying and nastiness, please consider that your conduct as a moderator directly represents this company. I also hope that you are able to heal what ever has you in such a reactive and argumentative state."
I'm not asking anyone to overlook bullying and nastiness, I'm asking you to point out exactly where I've said anything that is bullying or nasty. I've been polite, stayed on topic, and I'm stating the obvious. If others fail to see the problem with a cuddle pro wanting clients to pay them for amateur talk therapy, I can't fix that. They asked for input and I gave my professional opinion.
@Babichev I can understand where some of the views and statements within this thread could have made you feel unsupported, and even confounded as to their perceived difference with what you so passionately know and feel. I can’t speak for anyone but myself but I would like to say I’m sorry if you feel the need to explain yourself or defend yourself and I think it’d be ok to just focus our energy onto more positive posts and feelings.
Personally wishing you peace and positivity. ❤️
@Nature_Lover_ - Thank you.
For the record, it doesn't hurt my feelings one bit for someone to disagree with me or even lash out at me. However, I would prefer that they respond to what I've actually said rather than project their own emotional interpretation on it and respond to that. That's why I keep trying to state as plainly as I can what I am and am not saying.
I don't think I have any more to add and will turn my attention elsewhere now.
A bit late to this but I've just had a skim through this thread today.
We do indeed use the words "cuddle therapy" in some of our pages. I don't think the term carries an established definition but the reason we use it is simply this:
The search data over the years show that a significant percentage of people looking for professional cuddling happen to open up Google and type "cuddle therapy". That's what comes to their mind.
Naturally one of our objectives with search discoverability is for our textual content to accommodate how people express their feelings into words.
In regards to the heated exchange here, I don't feel compelled to get involved. Moderators can express their own personal opinions unrelated to their position here. As I don't see rule breaking, I'm staying out of it.
Folks are so busy tone policing @Babichev's response, that they are failing to engage with her informed insight and very wise points.
We don't have to pin down the definition of "cuddle therapist" to agree that the focus of pro cudding should be on the client's needs. Babichev is acting as a very powerful advocate for the client in her several replies to the OP and the OP is continually making it about herself and her feelings.
You might feel hurt, but that doesn't mean someone was attacking you. Take a deep breath, practice humility, and gently ask yourself--"When I put my ego aside--can I learn something from this person's point of view? What can they see that I can't?"
Babichev never said OP was a bad person or bad cuddler, just that she is potentially acting irresponsibly or unethically. Put aside issues of tone and consider that point.
@BellaSera 👍👍👍👍
This thread reminds me of a discussion a month or two or three ago when a thread started about a repeat client of a pro cuddler , the client informed the provider he was terminating sessions , something about him falling in love with the cuddler . The cuddler explained the dilemma, there was vetting invested in the client , he was bread and butter for awhile , then the client knew he had to shake these feelings for the pro so he canceled sessions .
I was flabbergasted when another forum poster suggested to the pro that the situation can be avoided by every third or forth session a “ mandatory talk “ take place that transferrance, is not real and that these feelings can be “ headed off at the pass “ with talking about it .
Frankly , it sounded like financial abuse of the client . The poster was proposing this “talk” , just to keep session fees continuing.
@cuddlerforu24, bad advice on that thread doesn't negate the good advice here
@BellaSera How am I negating advice on this thread
A lot of confusion came from whether or not the OP is illegally trying to offer talk therapy to vulnerable people who are seeking cuddle therapy through a cuddle site. That’s not the case, she is a paid cuddler interested in ways to spark more meaningful conversations with clients should that be their preference. She stated she’s ok with whatever their needs are be in conversation or just cuddling.
She wasn’t complaining about clients’ preferences - I feel she meant to express her strong preference for respectful clients who are coming into cuddling for the value of platonic touch or self care ect vs messages or that are sexual or flirtatious.
Cuddles can often include very meaningful conversations and certainly can be beneficial in the absence of conversation. Therapeutic services is such a general term. It could include walking together, taking a hike, eye gazing, breath exercises, reiki, sound healing, and and unlimited list of other things.
To all of this I would add, it would be cool to explore an option in which we had moderators who advocated for all parties present on this platform.
It feels a little bit like everyone is trying to have the last word here.
Let's forget about it, i believe cuddle therapists need basic knowledge of mental health, they shouldn't be healer at least listeners, and have some knowledge. many clients who go to cuddle therapy such as me , might have any sort of mental problem, and because of power of cuddle, they might become emotional and wants someone to speak to or complain to. i never open to anyone about my struggles and pains only i do when I go to cuddle therapy, u cant blame me it's nature, because cuddle therapy it's my refuge of pains,struggles ect . speaking to someone it's part of healing.
@cuddlerforu24, I didn’t say you did. I just mean some other person giving bad advice has no bearing here.
@Nature_Lover_, I think you missed @Babichev’s central point. The OP’s licensure was a side issue—no one thought she was offering “illegal talk therapy.”
Babichev pointed out that the OP was centering her desire to be a healer and to engage in deep conversation with clients over the clients’ expressed preferences and desires.
This is a dangerous mindset for practitioners to have.
We pros can all benefit from critique and self-reflection on this point. Are we serving ourselves or our clients?
@Nature_Lover_
"She stated she’s ok with whatever their needs are be in conversation or just cuddling."
OP:
"I’m met with confusion when I tell people I am a cuddle therapist."
Claiming she's a therapist with no credentials provided. And seemed to have gotten too in her feelings by claiming she was accused of causing harm... when she wasn't accused of such here, as far as I can see. Nor did she provide a quote of such accusation, is not good.
OP: "I will not provide credentials/a license for “proof” to appease a stranger for their accusations of causing harm to others."
While she did say it's okay...
OP: "I do offer therapy based techniques but maybe only one individual has ever asked for therapeutic methods on here.
I think the majority want physical touch and nurturing, rather than conversation. Nothing wrong with that."
She also said what she would like to do, even when that's not really what her clients are after nor what the site is for as far as I know: The site is for platonic cuddling, not talk therapy.
"I would like to employ more meaningful conversations in time spent with others in this specific area,..."
Which sounds like she's putting her interest before her clients'.
Also @Babichev made her position clear again and again if anyone cares to see it for the good that it is. Even if it wasn't crafted to one's personal taste and in a 'tone' or style they prefer. The message is still there, that she cares about the clients' best interest and gave her input as such. So that the OP could make safer decisions about the matter should she choose to learn from the feedback provided. Rather than taking it as an attack or missing the points that were made.
Now that I think about this part of the OP's post "I suppose I would like insight-" it makes me feel like a part of her wasn't ready to actually recieve a differing input. Further amplified by her refusing to verify that she's a licensed therapist and unfortunately it seems having gotten too in her feelings that it clouded her judgement. The situations she was or probably still is dealing with doesn't help either.
@WriterGF I think so too, unfortunately.
I think it'd be best to at this point lay this matter to rest. We can only give our feedback to others and explain why we think it's important. We can't make them understand it, especially if they may not be in an emotional state where they can.
Have a good weekend y'all!
@BellaSera I can fully understand and appreciate that perspective. I truly feel the original post was largely misunderstood and taken way out of context. I know the OP very well and she is one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met. I know what she intended to express and can also see where it was misinterpreted. Happens all the time. I think the negativity incited lessened her energy or desire to defend herself and explain what she was really trying to say. While I can’t speak for her it should be known that she of course understands she is serving her clients and not the opposite. That is not what she intended to say but again, I can see where it might have read that way.
I read somewhere that moderators are to moderate with principals of maintaining a welcoming and peaceful environment acting with equality between pros, clients and enthusiasts while encouraging openness and respect.
Indeed we are all imperfect humans who could benefit from critique and introspection both personally and professionally.
@Lovelight do you think the masses who are entering, ‘cuddle therapy,’ into search engines are actually seeking a licensed therapist who is willing to cuddle them? It’s possible but I find that unlikely. I’ve yet to encounter a single prospective client who asked if I was also a therapist. I think it should be abundantly clear by now that that was a term used to describe being a paid cuddler which is promoted on the site. I cannot imagine anyone would have seen the OP’s profile which explicitly explains she’s a paid cuddler and makes no mention of being a licensed therapist and have the impression that she was a trained licensed professional who was conducting a talk therapy session. I mean seriously, think about this. She’s a paid cuddler who was interested in feedback on cultivating more meaningful conversations within her cuddle sessions.
@Nature_Lover_ Her post stated she tells * people* she's a cuddle therapist.
Others responded to that saying how dangerous it can be if she is unqualified along with pointing out the other issues they noticed.
'She meant this not that' at the end of the day only she can really say what she meant. And people responding to what she said, rather than reading her mind or knowing her to be able to better gauge what she meant, doesn't make them wrong. She asked for insights which she was given based on what was presented. She was not disrespected from what I've read thus far.
Like I said, we can only explain to others, we can't make them understand it. Especially if they are unable or unwilling to understand. I think it's best I end my participation in this now and probably everyone else does too. Unless perhaps the OP has something she'd like to say. It looks futile to me to keep going on about it otherwise.
@BellaSera I agree and I don’t think I even indicated that the other threads discussion results provide any bearing . I m just reminded of it .
I just want to clarify something that's come up in comments here and in private comments:
My issue is not necessarily loosely using the term "therapist" or "cuddle therapy." What my concern about was the OP's focus on therapy rather than cuddling as in talk therapy. I'm going to reprint and highlight what I found problematic:
_Title: Do you seek therapy/safe space?
I’m met with confusion when I tell people I am a cuddle therapist. I do offer therapy based techniques but maybe only one individual has ever asked for therapeutic methods on here. I think the majority want physical touch and nurturing, rather than conversation. Nothing wrong with that. I would like to employ more meaningful conversations in time spent with others in this specific area, however this is difficult to provide when a good majority of messages I receive are borderline flirtatious or inappropriate.
Perhaps it is I who expects to provide healing to another human being and that is unreasonable? I suppose I would like insight-
Do you want therapy based techniques while receiving cuddles?_
The emphasis is on therapy as in talk therapy and that, specifically, is problematic.
I hope I've cleared that up. I'm not going to quibble about using the terms loosely. What I'm concerned about is amateur psychotherapy.
I keep reading the assertion that the OP was offering talk therapy and not cuddle therapy. I think that’s an assumption that is only scantly and ambiguously supported by the evidence. It also requires us to take a very dim view of the OP’s maturity and judgment.
The assertion certainly isn’t getting stronger by repeating it over and over again. And since @simsaddict is no longer contributing to the thread, there can be little benefit to her or anyone else in keeping it open. @Babichev
Please shut it down.
No one has commented in almost two weeks. It shut itself down.
Missed the dates. Sorry.
🙈
I honestly think the word, "therapy," is used too loosely in the cuddling culture from my experience and I haven't even had a cuddle yet. I got here out of curiosity, deep dived and I'm trying to see the connection to the word, "therapy." There's a word thrown around a lot, "oxytocin," is thrown around as a pitch, but there's not any science that proves a professional cuddler can create the same experience as cuddling with someone you're in love with which opens up a talk about professional cuddlers creating this experience of being in love. With that being said, I don't think the term, "cuddle therapy," should be used by any cuddler. I honestly think, "professional," shouldn't even be used. It's very misleading especially when someone is seeking help because there isn't any science behind, "professional," cuddling.|
It's New Year's and whiskey has been involved, so I apologize if my articulation is off, but I think the jist is there.