I don't know why I feel more nervous when trying to cuddle with men. Perhaps, it is because I am only accustomed to cuddling with women my whole life. But, why should it be any different? So, I now list "everyone".
I feel like I remember a thread like this from not long ago. 😊 Either way, I voted. 👍 As pros, I am pretty sure I read somewhere that we are supposed to be open to cuddling "everyone", if I'm not mistaken. I'm not sure if/how that's enforced, as I've seen on some pros' profiles that they only cuddle the opposite gender.
I cuddle men, women, and everyone else!
Good on ya for increasing your cuddle options!
An integral part of my cuddle "Therapy' is only cuddling with men. I've come to a point in my Trauma healing and in my gender transition where I'm comfortable with cisgender men and feel safe even in the vulnerable position of cuddling; I want to re-enforce this feeling of safety and trust. But when I feel it's right, yeah, I'll be open to cuddling everybody!
@Green_Eyes I have seen the same thing but I am not sure what the rules for pros are. But yes, it is not uncommon for a pro to list a specific gender they cuddle. I don’t think anything of it because if someone doesn’t particularly want to cuddle you for who you are then why hire them?
Your screen name makes it impossible to tag you because the _ turns it into italics.
@PositiveNRG4U Awesome I like your open mind and cuddle everyone too!🤗
The site rule is that professionals must cuddle everyone. However, the site does recognise the difficulty this causes for some people. Therefore the rule is not strictly enforced, but it is considered to be an ideal. If you do not subscribe to the ideal, then this may not be the right site for you.
I subscribe wholeheartedly to the ideal. I cuddle women (and children, and animals) and I am very slowly learning to cuddle men. Cuddling nonbinary or trans folks is a circumstance I have not yet encountered in practice, and I suspect it would probably be an individual thing. I do hug everybody.
@CuddleDuncan - I believe anyone (pro or not) has the right to have their preference and refuse to cuddle somebody they are not comfortable with. It will just limit their potential clients. Pros on this site are independent workers and not employees. They shouldn't be obligated to invite somebody into their personal space.
Just my 2 cents...
Depending on your reasoning for wanting to cuddle with men as a pro, you may benefit from booking a male pro to get a little feel for it. Or maybe even a bit better get with both a pro or two and find male enthusiasts too to offer a trial/promotion to that fits within the rules of you being a pro. That way there's no much pressure to be confident off the bat and you may get a bit of a better feel for it.
I'm really curious as to why men on this site limit their options for affection to women only. So many of them seem very interested in cuddling and affection. Many more seem fed up with pro prices and/or lack of enthusiast participation/ communication....seems like there's an obvious solution: cuddle other men.
I cuddle everyone as a pro, and cuddled everyone before I was a pro.
This suggestion isn't made in snark. It's genuine.
Do men not think other men capable of affection or comfort? ( I can confirm both in my cuddle life and personal life, men are incredibly gifted a showing comfort and affection. I have two sons, they are MUCH more affectionate and physically loving than my two daughters.)
Do men think women hold a monopoly on comfort and listening? Is this not a gendered trait, but rather a human trait?
For the men who would consider themselves "bad" at cuddling/connection, wouldn't a growth mindset and some practice help you get better at this?
Why should the emotional labor of comfort and connection fall so heavily on one gender? (women)
If you are still against cuddling other men after authentically answering all of these question is it possible you haven't fully explored all of your fears? Hesitations? or perhaps are not fully honest about what you are seeking in the first place?
These questions are not motivated at all by an urge to bash men, on the contrary, these questions are inspired by holding the innate humanity of men in the highest regard.
@Mike403 as regards individuals, I completely agree with you. Nobody should be made to cuddle somebody they don't want to, obviously.
But discrimination against an entire group, based on a shared feature that is irrelevant to the activity, is prejudice. Prejudice is bad because it harms both parties. The word itself tells the story - pre-judgement, i.e. forming an opinion or conclusion before acquiring the evidence.
Gender is irrelevant to cuddling. Everybody needs a cuddle, everybody can give a cuddle. Consequently, selecting a cuddle partner based on gender (or other irrelevant characteristic) is prejudice.
I have a prejudice about cuddling men. It makes me sad. I can't magically fix it because it's literally hardwired into my brain. It was developed by society as a whole when I was a child, when it was not ok for men to be physically affectionate towards other men except in very particular circumstances. I am doing my best to rewire myself, but it's a hard job, it will take time, and it's not the most urgent piece of rewiring.
The site recognises that this is a common problem, and practices tolerance.
Note that while we talk mostly about men not cuddling men, there are women who are not comfortable cuddling women.
@Jkay my answers:
Do men not think other men capable of affection or comfort? I think lots of men are capable of affection, comfort and offering me wonderful cuddles
Do men think women hold a monopoly on comfort and listening? No
For the men who would consider themselves "bad" at cuddling/connection, wouldn't a growth mindset and some practice help you get better at this? I consider myself good at this, and know other men who are also good at it. In fact I would say that the two or three people I've met who are best at this are all men.
Why should the emotional labor of comfort and connection fall so heavily on one gender? (women) It shouldn't
If you are still against cuddling other men after authentically answering all of these question is it possible you haven't fully explored all of your fears? Hesitations? or perhaps are not fully honest about what you are seeking in the first place? I am in favour. Exploring all of the fears, hesitations, doubts, confusions, etc, has been and remains a tricky business. I was taking to a women cuddler friend about it and she asked an interesting question. "If you had to cuddle a man - a nice man, who would give you a genuine cuddle - would you prefer he be gay, straight, or it doesn't matter" I hadn't considered that point, and it was a mildly illuminating question for me.
@CuddleDuncan - Most straight guys will not cuddle other men. They just don't feel comfortable being intimate with another guy. If you're uncomfortable, that defeats the whole purpose of cuddling doesn't it? Yes everybody needs a cuddle and there will always be somebody willing to cuddle them.
I only hug men not cuddle them ,
@Mike403 true. But where does the uncomfortable feeling come from?
@CuddleDuncan - You can't explain any uncomfortable feelings you have. My point is, everyone including pros(who are independent workers) should have the right to choose who they get close with. I do deliveries for Grubhub as a side gig and I can choose to reject any offer from somebody I don't want to do business with. Maybe they live in an area I don't want to go to or they didn't tip enough. That's the plus side of the independent gig work. You are your own boss. Why should professional cuddling be any different.
As a man, I don’t wanna cuddle with just any woman, I want to only cuddle with woman I find attractive. And being straight I don’t want to cuddle with any man, not because of fear, or society. I have no interest. End of story. It’s not a prejudice. I wouldn’t want to cuddle with a family member either. I don’t hug them either.
@CuddleDuncan I appreciate your transparent look at your prejudices, and definitely agree, rewiring a process which is sometimes long and non-linear.
@Mike403 of course I don’t believe anyone should be forced to do something which makes them uncomfortable. I do believe we all stand to gain from the conscious exploration of our discomforts. I would like to gently challenge your assertions that discomforts cannot be explained. I find most of the time if I ask the right questions, I AM able to explain my discomforts.
I think @CuddleDuncan made an insightful choice by asking, “Where does the discomfort come from?” (This can be retorical by the way. The only person that needs to know the answers to these questions is you.)
If that question doesn’t help you did, perhaps asking, “What am I specifically uncomfortable with about cuddling men? What feelings? Sensations? What do I think women can offer that men can’t?
Once again, the only person who needs to know the answers to these questions is you. Ones self awareness on this issue would make them a better cuddler to all cuddle partners, including women.
Sometimes you just feel uncomfortable with cuddling one gender and it has nothing to do with the sexual preference at all. I wouldn't cuddle a men, unless I totally trust that person based on e.g. a previous deep talk, and then I only did it that one time where I already had a drink.
I am a huge advocate for platonic affection, I believe everyone should be ok with hugging their friends that like to be hugged! Cuddling needs to be more normalized across the board with everyone!
I don’t pursue cuddles with men because I’m not particularly interested in cuddling with men. The thought of it doesn’t really make me uncomfortable; I’d do it in the right circumstance, and I might even enjoy it to some extent… but it would never replace cuddling with a woman.
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@Jkay
Thanks for your curiosity. I’m not fed up with pro price, they can charge whatever they want. If it’s too much for me I’ll just pass. It often means I’ll go half a year or so without cuddles. Finding a compatible female enthusiast can take a very long time, depending on your area, and your ability to connect with people.
I also think lots of men are capable of cuddling and comfort. I mean, I’m a man.
I’ve been told now that I am quite good at cuddling from multiple sources. Though the connection bit is harder. I’ve been told that I’m not quite normal, from multiple sources. Perhaps this makes it hard for me to connect with others.
The emotional labor of comfort and connection should not fall so heavily on one gender.
I’m still currently against cuddling men. Perhaps it’s a socialization thing only -also understood by many other men. Growing up, platonic affection among men was highly discouraged. A relationship with a woman was acceptable route if one wanted to cuddle. Even then, the idea if a proper man as I was told shouldn’t be too affectionate. To me this phenomenon seems to have parallels with women and sensitivity about weight. Sure, not everyone is into thicker women but not everyone is into thinner women, either. I didn’t know it was a thing, and it didn’t make sense why anyone would be so insecure about it. Then I realized society was a big reason why they felt that way and I’m really careful about that subject now. That’s a whole other can of worms but society needs to seriously fix it.
I’m on this website in search of platonic cuddling only, as should everyone else or they shouldn’t be here. But I have to explore the possibility that on some level, I associate cuddling with sexual intimacy. In this case, it’d make sense why it’s revolting because I am straight.
Then there’s aesthetic reasons. I like playing with hair and women tend to have long, well kept hair, softer features (on average) which seems better for cuddling. But I’ve only cuddled women so it’s just an extrapolation.
@CuddleDuncan while I agree it goes both ways in its own ways. I gotta say though, that if men are struggling to find female cuddle partners, the few women who* try to cuddle with other women or who do would probably struggle too. Although their chances of finding someone might increase by a bit.
At cuddle parties I've cuddled both men and women. On occasions where I'm cuddling one-on-one and paying for it, I prefer to cuddle women. I believe it has more to do with masculine/feminine energy to me than it does male/female differences.
To put it in another way, the best way I've found to make a circle is with a yin and a yang, rather than with two of one or the other.
I feel everyone deserves to feel like they are someone and feel worthwhile. I cuddle ALL so please feel free to stop by my profile and reach out.
With the Me Too Movement & the risk of misinterpreted handling of bodily silhouettes & curves, I would much rather cuddle men instead of women. Besides, it is so predictable that most men would rather cuddle with women instead of men because men are predominantly emotionally codependent upon women for affection, nurturance, emotional intimacy, and companionship; the primordial attachment between mothers 👩 and sons predisposes men's lifelong proclivities preferring women over men as far as companionship and bonding emotionally are concerned. I refuse to follow the lockstep male sheeple 🐏 herd in this regard!
Only women at this time, due to a very bad experience several years ago. I realize just because one person was bad doesn't mean all such folks are bad, that it's just a mental issue for me. I've been trying hard to get past it. Maybe someday I'll succeed.