I would say to anyone that tells you a lie to spare your feelings that they need to put on their adult hat. If someone did that to me I would not hesitate to give a one star review. Be an adult and say what you mean. If you are not interested in cuddling then say so or ignore the request. Ignoring is rude but it is a quite a bit better than saying your mom had an emergency colonoscopy because you did not want to tell the truth. As the OP said it is a colossal waste of his time.
Now I did have a cuddler stand me up, but she sent me pics verifying what was going on and gave me a free hour when we did meet. Unfortunately she was one of the worst cuddlers I have ever endured. Lesson learned by me.
The cancelations happened over a 6-month time frame. All the excuses seemed legit at the time (except one seemed fishy when she said she lost her phone). There was never any indication that she was not wanting to cuddle when we made the appointments. Here is her last text -" Yes Wednesday is a definitely! 😁"
I block off Wed night for the cuddle session and she never comes or texts.
@cuddles_ndream our communication was cordial. There were no bad vibes. She left me the impression she was excited to come. See above post of her last ext. And if you don't want to cuddle with someone there is no obligation to accept nor penalty for not accepting. I have sent out a request for a cuddle session where there was no response. I just move on. I would have rather she did that than to accept and then not show and keep coming up with excuses. Why waste both of our time...especially mine waiting for her. I guess I am gullible because I believe people are honest.
"Take the hint" is to me more like "take the hit."
Making up fake emergencies and talking about "my grandma is sick", just to try to avoid telling someone a genuine no is cruel to me.
Also he said he believed her, pretty sure he felt bad for her too with what she was saying she was dealing with. Only to find out the excuses seemed to never end and also left with the hurt that came from that quite possibly being lies.
I think if a pro can't communicate honestly, which doesn't have to mean being a jerk or saying it all, with potential clients instead of making up such excuses and keeping their clients hanging, he or she has no business being a pro.
"Sorry, I can not, though thank you for your interest. Hope you find someone else."
It isn't really that hard to be upfront with others about one's lack of interest.
Instead talking about having emergencies which more than likely makes the person being told feel bad for you. And think they still have a chance is a bad way to go about it, I think especially for a pro.
To me, it's a lot better to be told no up front. Than to be led on and find you're more than likely being lied to, plus if the person isn't doing anything to try to remedy it if it is indeed legit.
Before the, “Yes Wednesday is a definitely”! 😄, did you ask if Wednesday was a good day? Basically what I’m saying is that if I tried to book with a pro, & she stoods me up or doesn’t make it, & she herself doesn’t say, “sorry… so & so happened or came up, can we reschedule?” I’m taking it as she doesn’t want to cuddle (for whatever reason that may be & there won’t be no more pursuing from me).
@Lovelight Maybe the pro way to nice and just doesn't how to say no w out hurting the clients feelings.
And what if the pro cuddler was never lying. Pro cuddler also have personal problems.
@Chris04 by around the 4th or 5th time within several months, I'd highly doubt that she was telling the truth. Though for me this is less about whether or not the particular person was lying or not, and more about opposing the idea that it's we who need to just "take the hint and move on." Cause I oppose people going about it like that by leading others on and especially giving them gutwrenching excuses instead of being a better communicator*. If the pro doesn't know how to be kind and honest with her or his potential clients, then s/he needs to learn to do just that. Especially if taking on a paid position. I oppose lying and leading others on or him seemingly being brushed off as like meh, take the hint and move on. Or going at the person who was hurt about why not this why not that.
Those types of "hints" in particular are quite destructive. When they were being given to me, I felt bad for the guy who was doing that to me. I didn't give up for a while, because I believed him and wanted to be supportive of him believing the struggles he was telling me were real and that he did wanted to meet me. Along with thinking we were getting along otherwise and seemed we'd connect well. Only when it went on and on and I got stood up one day, did I get the strength and realization that I'm 99.99% being led on and lied to. And eventually that was essentially confirmed to me. So it doesn't really work and it can be quite hurtful to others, plus wastes their time.
I think it is best to put in a report at the very least. So that she may learn from it and if this is found to be a pattern, it may help prevent others from having to go through the same.
@cuddles_ndream She suggested Wed. I was just confirming and that was her response. None of it makes sense to me. Just be a person of your word.
@cuddletime222 That is the crux of the problem. If someone else had experienced the same thing of her not keeping her word and gave her bad karma then you would have information going in.
@Ahmedali999 In case you didn't get an answer yet, OP means Original Poster (the person who started the thread).
@FunCartel I hope when the cuddler sent you pics to verify what was going on, they weren't of her mom's colonoscopy!
@NutsNBerries thank you OP original poster
After the second cancellation I would've moved on
We pros are always told by admin to report a client any time there's questionable behavior because it will start or contribute to an ongoing log and if there is a pattern of similar negative reports, this will help the admins determine if someone should be warned, banned, or in the case of a pro, lose their pro status (you can report pros). Reporting doesn't necessarily mean anything bad will happen to them immediately and an honest review will help other potential cuddlers determine if they want to cuddle someone.
@cuddletime222 - Definitely report them if it seems they are just being flaky. They will probably get a warning but if they end up being a repeat offender their account will be closed.
In my work, on rare occasions I’ve had to reschedule someone a couple of times due to an unfortunate series of events. When that has happened, not only do I fall all over myself apologizing but I will end up offering them a free session. (I’m a self-employed massage therapist.) I want them to know I take my responsibility to them seriously. Sometimes I’ve just plain screwed up, sometimes it was through no fault of my own, but in either case, I realize the client is counting on their appointment and not only are they disappointed but they are inconvenienced as well.
As has been mentioned, the field of pro cuddling is sort of the Wild West. Anyone can call themselves a pro but not everyone who does behaves professionally. It’s disappointing and discouraging for the clients and it’s also distressing for the pros who do work at keeping a very professional business.
My suggestion would be to look for pros who have been on the site for awhile besides having good karma. How long they have been on the site doesn’t necessarily reflect how long they have been a pro, but if they have only been on for a few months and the last time they logged on was a month ago, that’s not a good sign. Look at the profiles of some of the pros that participate in these forums to get an idea of what a more professional profile looks like and then look for those in your area whose profiles come across as someone who takes pro cuddling seriously and knows what they are doing.
I’m sorry you had that experience. I hope you find a good pro and soon.
If a pro has so much going on in their life and they know they aren’t going to be available to people, they need to pause their account. I had to do that this summer when our accountants bailed on us at my 9-5 job. I had to catch paperwork up from January. It was overwhelming and it wouldn’t have been fair for me to try and meet with anyone under such a demanding situation. Pros need to access the situation and be considerate of other peoples time. I’m so sorry that happened to you. The point in being a pro is to help people have an enjoyable experience, not create stress. Sending hugs to you! 🤗🤗
Sorry this happened to you. I drove 2 hours and got a hotel room and got stood up by a pro. It sucks. Many people cuddle because they are missing a connection or are starving for touch and to be stood up by a “pro” really increases insecurities. At least for me.
WOW! That's overwhelming when someone cancels like that. It can really heighten the loneliness and stress. Not considerate.
Just to be clear, I'm not saying it did it or didn't happen as the op describes. I just know a lot of times men (and women) don't even realize how their words are coming across. And rescheduling 5 times, that's a lot. Perhaps she started getting uneasy if he was persistent?
I'm not defending her, but I have no idea why everyone would immediately seem to condemn her just based on this. It's always dicey to me to leave negative feedback for not showing unless it's literally they're supposed to be there and they're simply not. There's so many risks for women on here, they shouldn't also have consider whether their uneasiness with someone is worth risking negative karma. For a new pro cuddler they'd probably be afraid that would destroy their chances.
@cuddletime222 & @I_Am_Not_A_Cat Thank you some one who understands me.
@cuddletime222 Thank you for sharing your experiences, which led to others sharing too. If anyone else has similar experiences and needs someone to message about it please feel free to contact me! I am very sorry to hear about all the negative experiences but also happy to be more aware.