Tips/Advice for a Public Cuddle Event?

Comments

• quixotic_life

  February 2022

  I've never been (and likely won't unless I have a trusted someone to go with). But I'm hoping those who have will chime in (and maybe help ease some of my anxieties about it)... Thanks for posting this.
• PolarMtnHuman95

  February 2022

  I wanted to go to those since a long time ago, but I did one time go to this other cuddle event that wasn’t exactly a cuddle party. There were only very few people, like besides me there were two more males and two females. That was my first cuddling experience and it was in 2018. I didn’t really make time for more cuddle parties after that but right when I was going to, there was the pandemic that began. Now I am having trouble finding my vaccine card, the reason why I still can’t go to cuddle parties.
• RadiantHugs Mod

  February 2022 edited February 2022

  @Nessa_Cita
  I've facilitated several Cuddle Party events in my area. I aimed to do one every month until the pandemic stopped it two years ago. I held one event in November, but then quickly had to shut down again as community infections started rising.

  As far as gender ratio, I never at first tried to gender balance my events, so I've had the full range - all women for one event and all men at another. In both cases the only horrified person appeared to be me - the facilitator. All the participants didn't seem to be concerned, I had one man leave after the welcome circle (one does have that option) during the all male event. Nowadays I do try to balance the events and offer an equal amount of tickets based on self identified gender, that doesn't guarantee anything but it does try to keep it roughly balanced.

  As for safety, all participants have to be present for the initial welcome circle, which is a full hour workshop where we talk about consent, boundaries, and create a high level container of safety. Many who would like to attend and push boundaries find this a bit onerous, so they often don't sign up at all. In three years of doing this and over two dozen events, so far I haven't had a situation where I needed to ask someone to leave or ban someone.

  @quixotic_life feel free to message me with questions. Also a number of facilitators are offering "virtual" online events (I only offered two after the pandemic shutdown and then got Zoom fatigue) but those are a good way to experience what might be the atmosphere at an in person welcome circle.
• Nessa_Cita (deleted user)

  February 2022

  @CuddlesByDeep
  Thanks so much!
  The fact that you actually have ran these kinds of events and see that gender usually isn’t an issue, it’s definitely a relief.

  Also, that the orientation is used to talk about consent and kinda sifts out all the pushy people is good to know.

  I appreciate it!
• CuddleDuncan Mod

  February 2022 edited February 2022

  The only thing you need to bring is, as one facilitator puts it, "your whole self". Having said that, wear comfortable, practical clothes as you'll probably find yourself sitting or lying on the floor at some point. Sometimes you are asked to bring cushions or blankets, or refreshments, but that kind of thing should be made clear.

  Many events try to have about half and half men and women. However, what with their being more than two genders and everybody having their own limits about what they are comfortable doing with each one, it's not an exact science.

  It's common to have a welcome circle, where everybody introduces themselves or says a few words. If you find yourself feeling too awkward or tongue-tied when it's your turn, just say "pass" and smile at the facilitator. Normally the exercises start off very gently, with minimal touching, and work up gradually to a cuddle puddle at the end.

  Remember, you're an adult. You can do whatever you want, or not do whatever you want. In extremis, you can just leave. Most events have a 'sit-out area' where you can go if you don't want to take part in a particular exercise, for whatever reason, and it's not rare for it to be used. (I've done it myself.) Sometimes people become emotional, and may sit out for a quite a while in conversation with an assistant facilitator or even somebody they have connected with at the event.

  I get very anxious before such events, but usually have quite a nice time while I'm there. Assuming it's a well-run event, the truth is there is nothing to be nervous about. Everybody is very nice and understanding - that's what the whole thing is about. And most of the people there are .... well, they are you.

  @quixotic_life do you know what it is that worries you?
• Nessa_Cita (deleted user)

  April 2022

  Totally forgot to update!

  Anyway, it went great

  I was a little nervous for all about 5 minutes until we got into icebreakers and such. Received and gave a lot of platonic touch, and even made a friend! It was very easy to tell who the veteran cuddlers were compared to newbies like myself. They just jumped right into it, while I was a bit hesitant. Eventually, it just felt natural to ask someone if they were okay with their hair being touched, or letting them lay against me.

  I highly recommend the experience to anyone thinking about it. I myself, am thinking about making it a regular thing for me.
• CuddleDuncan Mod

  April 2022

  There you go.
• GreatHornedOwl

  April 2022

  @frace95 Depending on where you live, you can most likely get a duplicate copy of your vaccination certificate from either your state or county department of health.
• RadiantHugs Mod

  April 2022

  @Nessa_Cita thank you for updating! Your experience seems to be very consistent with that of most first timers. I'm really glad it went well for you, and hope you can attend more!