Rent a stranger

blisscuddlesblisscuddles
in General

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2022/03/19/japan-loneliness-rent/

Don’t think listening and showing empathy is doing nothing. It’s a gift and value that is sadly in short supply. Those who can and do bring so much comfort to those they touch, even if it’s just by their presence.

Comments

  • Mela_BMela_B

    Absolutely agree.

  • justjennnjustjennn

    Connection, community and togetherness! Something our modern day society is sorrily lacking and a beautiful service we can bring to the table. Thanks for sharing this article here.

  • Nature_Lover_Nature_Lover_

    This is a great article and there used to be a site in the states called rentafriend.com I believe which spoke to solely the companioning which we often see offered through this and other platforms.
    You can also rent a wing woman or wingman. All super fascinating to me and super amazing when you consider the synergy.

  • BabichevBabichev

    During my 30 years as a massage therapist I’ve spent a lot of time working with people with chronic pain. One of the most valuable things I have to offer, besides what I do with my hands, is time to listen to their story. For many of them, that is one of the most therapeutic parts of the session. So many of the health care providers they interact with don’t have the time. With me, they have my undivided attention for however long our session lasts.

    Same with elderly people. They were often very time-consuming clients. They moved slowly and tended to talk A LOT. I would book them at a time of day when I wasn’t very busy so I could take my time with them. Often they don’t have too many people in their lives to talk to and people around them get impatient.

    We all need to be listened to and heard.

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    @Babichev When someone tells me their story and I support them by listening, I have seen them brave. The more consistent my support, the more they seem to shift towards healing. When their story telling and time spent together includes platonic touch, it feels, to me, that their own body joins -in to support them. Almost like another listener. When a pattern of healing includes the physiological rewards of touch, it disconnects the fear and pain of their bad experiences and brings hope, which their "heart" needs to heal. It's extra fuel for the healing.
    That's what I believe I see. Often.
    I could be fooling myself and projecting because that's how it impacted me.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited March 2022

    Interesting article. Maybe someone should start a website called 'Stranger Comfort'. I have a feeling though that the most in demand strangers would be attractive young women whose fees would escalate over time.

  • shadow1992shadow1992

    I'm willing to meet with a stranger as long as their intentions are strictly platonic and non sexual but you always have to be cautious when meeting up with strangers

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    There are no strangers, only friends we haven't rented met yet...


  • KempistKempist
    edited March 2022

    Why not do it for free? I see nothing admirable about this. Just a mercenary exploiting peoples'
    loneliness, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.

  • entwineentwine

    Wow, yeah, awesome article. That's great he found his brand. Thanks for sharing it!

    I'd love to be able rent someone to play catch with. I could throw a ball (footballs, baseballs, frisbee) all day every day.
    Pretty sure I invented wall ball when I was a kid, which caught on as a fad, due to me not having anyone willing to be on the other end.
    Would also throw a ball up over the roof of my house, run around, and try to catch it. If anything, it did get me to become pretty quick.
    I had a baseball net thing that would bounce the ball back, that was pretty cool.
    Always wanted to invent a simple "cannon" that can launch a baseball or football into the air at random intervals/distance, which needed to be quick and easy to reload.

  • BabichevBabichev
    edited March 2022

    @snugbuddy - The online definition of mercenary is either someone only concerned with making money with no concern for ethics or someone hired to fight in a foreign army. I assume you mean the former rather than the latter. Exactly how is this mercenary?

    Let me ask you this: what is your day job? You do it for pay, right? Is that wrong? Are you mercenary for selling your body for money? That is what you’re selling, the use of your body for a specified purpose. So that’s okay but providing a service that you consider mercenary because it “exploits” people who are lonely, weak, or vulnerable is not? What about psychotherapists? Are they mercenaries, too? They work with people who are often lonely and vulnerable. What about bars that provide places for “lonely” people to hang out, are they mercenary? Or coffeehouses? Movie theaters? Restaurants?

    I’ve spent the last 30 years getting paid to help people with chronic pain. I’m told I’m good at what I do and this is how I pay the rent and feed myself. Is there something wrong with that? Am I exploiting people in pain? What about doctors? Are they exploiting the sick? Are teachers exploiting the uneducated? Are mechanics exploiting those of us who don’t know how to fix our own stuff? Is the person who cuts your hair exploiting you because you don’t know how to cut your own hair?

    We all need to pay the rent, utilities, and feed ourselves. None of us is self-sufficient, we all require some exchange of money or labor to survive. If someone is providing a service, represent themselves honestly, and people are willing to pay for it, how is that exploitation?

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life
    edited March 2022

    Solid points @Babichev ~ 👏👏👏💓

    Mercenary ~ late Middle English (as a noun): from Latin mercenarius ‘hireling’, from merces, merced- ‘reward’.

    She was a mercenary... a hireling for cuddles if you will... And her reward for showering me with affection? Well, it was no mere pittance I assure you. But as I had been so lonely, weak and vulnerable it was worth every penny (especially with knowing this is how she supplements her income), because I left feeling whole and ready to ship out for the war. What side was I on? It's of no matter as I too am a mercenary... so long as I get paid before the next time I return to her...

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    (mumbling to self) "Gallowglass be mercenary"

  • KempistKempist

    @Babichev In every big city there are thousands of lonely people sitting on park benches or in apartment buildings. What about them if they can't afford to pay someone to be with them? I would feel awful having someone give me money just to hang out with them. But maybe I'm out of touch for as the Springsteen song says these days hearts are cheap. It seems people are nothing if they can't afford to pay someone. I said maybe I'm out of touch but maybe not so much because in private messages people agree with me and state the case better than I can. Not knowing them I can't even speculate on why they don't post on the forum.

  • blisscuddlesblisscuddles

    The debate over free vs paid will be endless.

    Think we can all agree that no matter in what form it might be, having empathy for others and the being present and willing to listen is in itself a gift and is actually doing a lot and not nothing.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life
    edited March 2022

    Be the change you wish to see in the world ~

    Start a hugocalypse!!

    Start hugging all those lonely souls you see on benches, feel the loves, get noticed, make the news, share your good doings and inspire others!!

    Really!! You clearly have a vision counter to what's happening here, so log out and get out and start creating the thing you've been wishing was!!

    🤗🤗🤗

    edit ~ typo

  • BabichevBabichev

    @snugbuddy - you would feel awful to be paid to hang out with lonely people. I must assume, then, that you are hanging out with all the lonely people for free? How much of your time do you spend doing that? If you are spending time, for free, with all the lonely people, how do you earn income to pay the rent because the number of lonely people vastly outnumbers your ability to hang out with all of them? You would deny them the possibility that they might hire someone to hang out with them if they wish to do so?

    Lots of people are paid to hang out with lonely people only it’s not presented as that, the service in embedded with other activity. Lots of bar tenders, baristas, waiting staff, hair stylists/barbers, massage therapists, health care workers, activities directors in senior centers, counselors, chaplains,etc., end up hanging out with lonely people as part of their job.

    As for people being insignificant if they aren’t paying - that’s quite a leap. No one has suggested that. What makes you jump to that conclusion? Do you really think that we’re all thinking that only those who hire us for some sort of service think that all of those people - the vast majority of people in the world - are insignificant? Seriously?

    I’m a massage therapist. I’m quite aware that for some of my clients - especially the older ones - that part of what I provide for them is social interaction, someone who can just listen to them. I once had a home bound client who hired me to come for a 90 minute appointment twice a week. The stated reason was for a chronic pain problem but it was obvious the social aspect of the visit was at least if not more important to them. They had been uprooted from their home and moved to a strange city so their adult child could care for them. They were in a senior living center surrounded by strangers. They felt very alone. The other residents, for the most part, were unable to carry on stimulating, interesting conversation, either because their cognitive skills were declining or because their hearing had declined. During their six months at the center they witnessed several of those around her either die or decline to the point where they could no longer live alone. Our twice weekly sessions provided them with stimulating conversation. I truly enjoyed seeing them and the feeling was mutual. The last memory I have of them is them standing in their doorway, smiling, and telling me how much they enjoyed my visits. A few days later they died in their sleep. It was unexpected and I felt sad but I also felt good that I was able to improve the quality of their life, not just from a pain management level but at bringing a little relief to their loneliness. Being paid allowed me to spend 3+ hours a week with them. Had they. not hired me, we never would have met.

    We hire people to cook for us, make coffee for us, deliver food from restaurants and groceries, drive us places, walk our dogs and hang out with them while we are gone. We think nothing of this. Hospitals have chaplains on staff to visit the sick or console their families. We do not say oh, how pathetic that you have to hire someone to cook your food or make your coffee! How awful the hospital has to pay a chaplain to visit the sick or console families!

    We all have choices. Those who hire someone to hang out with them are probably grateful the service exists. If they weren’t, there would be no market for it.

  • [Deleted User]LatinMan1963 (deleted user)

    @snugbuddy You nailed it. How much less sadness will be if this service would be widely accepted.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @Babichev ~ 100%

  • entwineentwine

    Now that you mention it...most people can't function without coffee, it is pretty rude they decided to charge for someone to make it for them... /endsarcasm

    Joking aside,

    That was a great perspective @Babichev

    The company I work for offers unlimited free coffee, they said they have invested over 4 million dollars for this service.
    Things cost money, sure, everything would be great if were free, but it doesn't work if just one or a few make services free, everything would have to at same time, as then no one would need to earn a wage to pay for things they want... But then we would see how many would actually "work" in these said services that are offered, hah.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @entwine ~ Thanks for the reminder! It's my turn to bring a bag of coffee to work on Monday!! Not that we have a schedule for it, but I haven't chipped in for a while and want to.

  • [Deleted User]Snuggluffagus (deleted user)

    I just got here. What did I miss?

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    Some more words

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