“When Threads Go Wrong” on TLC at 8:00.
@edawsew if you find a CC professional offers who sexual services on another platform, please Report them. This is contrary to the Terms of Service and [most likely] they will be banned.
Edit: from the Terms and Conditions:
Platonic services only This site is intended for platonic services only. Members or professional cuddlers attempting to solicit or offer non-platonic services (i.e. fetish related, sexual services, etc.) through Cuddle Comfort, or found to be offering these services outside of this website, will be banned. This is to further keep the cuddling community image separate from any illegal activities after recent U.S. legislation has forced other platforms to shut down, leaving providers to search for new ways to operate
This site is intended for platonic services only. Members or professional cuddlers attempting to solicit or offer non-platonic services (i.e. fetish related, sexual services, etc.) through Cuddle Comfort, or found to be offering these services outside of this website, will be banned. This is to further keep the cuddling community image separate from any illegal activities after recent U.S. legislation has forced other platforms to shut down, leaving providers to search for new ways to operate
My emphasis.
@edawsew I stand by what I said, I'm happy to disagree.
What pros do as a separate form of income, information that you had to stalk them and invade their privacy to receive, not information they baited you with, Is their own business!
@CuddleDuncan I'm sorry but I feel the need to interject here. If someone is doing anything that is not on this site, unrelated to this site, and they are not giving that information to anybody on this site. They are doing nothing to deserve reporting. If those individuals are doing something on this site against the rules, yes by all means and I think anybody using this site for the wrong reasons should be reported. But this isn't THIS site we're talking about here.
For the record, pros agree that they will not offer non-platonic services either here or on other platforms. There are multiple reasons for this. One is that, in fact, those who do often let their clients from here know about it, thus violating the rules of this site. However, there are also legal reasons that have to do with the laws about sex trafficking which I don’t understand well enough to say any more than that but I think it boils down to that CC could potentially be implicated if any of our pros are doing that on another site. I don’t know the details any more than what I’ve written here so I can’t explain further. Bottom line: pros agree that they will not offer non-platonic services here or outside of CC and violation of that is grounds for closing their account. If they do not wish to agree to that, there are other sites available to them. [Babichev]
@Verbena - To further keep our image separate from non-platonic activities, particularly in light of U.S. legislation (i.e FOSTA-SESTA), it breaks our terms & conditions to provide non-platonic services both on and outside of Cuddle Comfort. If a Pro is reported and we verify outside links or activities, they are banned. [-Sid]
@Verbena I edited my post while you were writing yours ......
Hey, if you look the part… as they say, if the shoe fits 💁🏻♂️
They have twitter and OF… I highly doubt they care about privacy. 🙄
@CuddleDuncan I can't say I agree with the italicized clause, but I guess I don't make the rules.
And don’t be stupid and use the same name on here as you do on OF. And don’t try to turn this on me. I’m not trying to get anyone to pay for anything sexual. Lmfao
@CuddleDuncan, you seem like a nice guy but your point about pets and so on is a false equivalency. This conversation is clearly about the dynamic between a man and woman who are not in the (1%) asexual population.
As for “pros”, my use of quotes and my recognition of it as a legitimate profession. It’s not something I claim to be a moral authority on but it doesn’t pass the basic “what would my friends think?” test. Feel free to tag me in another thread if you’d like to go deeper as this is going way off topic (sorry my fault). 🙂
I said my piece in my first post. Over and out.
@Verbena sex workers trying to operate on CC is one of the most serious problems the site, and the wider cuddling community, faces. This clause was introduced to try and help the situation, and I think it probably has. I doubt that anybody thinks it's an ideal solution but it's the best we've got at the moment.
Amongst the problems to which it gives rise are sexual assault by clients on professionals (because the clients wrongly assumes the profession to be a sex worker because their previous professional was); and sexual assault by sex workers on clients. The clients think they have booked a platonic service, and the sex workers think they just have a shy client. This can be particularly traumatic for clients who are survivors of rape or childhood sexual abuse.
Comfortfood is correct about CuddleDuncan being a nice guy and about Comfort food sending this thread way off topic.
@CuddleDuncan those are definitely serious issues and I don't mean to take away from that.
@comfortfood I think we're near enough on topic to stay here for now.
You said,
it doesn’t pass the basic “what would my friends think?” test.
Sure it does. Well, it sure does for me. I've never had a bad reaction, and I'm completely open about cuddling.
A cuddlebuddy came with me once when I went to stay with my parents. My elderly, highly conventional, very sincerely Christian parents. They already knew that I cuddled, and although they don't fully understand they accept that it's just a twist of the modern world. They couldn't have been more welcoming to her. (And they know that I pay professional cuddlers.)
I do take your point about the false equivalency: the examples I quoted do not include a man and a woman in day to day circumstance. So permit me to add another example. The sentence, "Darling, would you like to have a cuddle tonight or would you rather have sex?" The two activities are entirely distinct. It is true that the most convenient places for both are very similar, and both involve intimacy, but that doesn't mean that they are profoundly connected. In fact I think of them as opposites, a bit like 6pm and 12.32-and-a-bit. (On a clock face with hands, obviously.) OK an imperfect analogy but I hope the point comes across.
@comfortfood CuddleDuncan's point not only comes across but is eloquently put, as usual.
The sentence, "Darling, would you like to have a cuddle tonight or would you rather have sex?" The two activities are entirely distinct.
Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that both can happen and are not entirely distinct, and usually it is unspoken in a close relationship until someone says no or excuses themself to the bathroom where vociferous gastrointestinal sounds emanate thus changing the mood dynamic for the other partner. Just saying.
Playing devil’s advocate.
If you are on CC and believe platonic cuddling is a fantasy, my guess is you will be heading for the big red X before long. This site is about platonic cuddling. If you want more than that, well, at least here that never ends well.
@Verbena I know you don't.
Having one website say what you can and can't do on another website sits uncomfortably with me in principle, and I should think it does with a lot of people. But sometimes you just have to be practical.
@achetocuddle that's very kind, thank you.
Stop feeding this thread. You bring more attention to the wrong side of the argument by continuing to squirt verbal lighter fluid on it. They obviously have a viewpoint and I think part of it is rooted in getting everyone’s dander up that a perceived harlot or pervert has snuck through no man’s land behind friendly lines.
Another example why Putin loves misinformation. People gobble it up without thinking.
@WriterGF Damn skippy! And I will be glad if comfortfood stays to himself from now on. Ick.
@Verbena and @CuddleDuncan I've enjoyed your thoughtful words here.
Having one website say what you can and can't do on another website also sits uncomfortably with me in principle. But I see the practical reasons for it. And I love to be practical.
@CuddleDuncan I like what you said about the different scenarios that could happen because of non-platonic soliciting. Because I’ve had a few clients that were offered more than platonic cuddling. Even though they did not take the pros up on that they did not ban them. It really does mess it up for people because in their profile they may say platonic cuddling then offer some thing else. So the next time someone inquires about Cuddles they may think they’re getting the same thing. I guess that’s why it’s good to communicate before your actual cuddle session. But I do feel bad for the guys though because sometimes it’s very awkward for them.
CuddleDuncan you need to visit here, you’re very cuddly.
@KozyKim Isn't he tho?
@achetocuddle I think this is what could be happening to you and I about Mr. Duncan. But he’s too far away. Oh well I hope he gets some good cuddles where he’s at:)
FWIW, I'm on here looking for platonic cuddle buddies only. I'll use dating apps or hookup sites if I'm looking for those things. Sex is great but a good cuddle can be even better.
Hope you find what you're looking for OP!
@Orcorama Same. Some people just do not know how to compartmentalize things like physical interaction. Or don’t care to at all.
And holy…some of these comments on the last page or so are concerning. It appears maybe one or both of you have little respect for the concept of “platonic”, nevermind pros.
@comfortfood
... the expectation is cuddling only. That being said, approximately 100% of my meetings led to a lot more intimacy (6 out of 6 cuddlers) . Granted, my cohort is only 6 in size and I may have some level of selection bias toward partners who I sense are more open to taking things further, though I genuinely don't think this is intentional.
I did a little edit to your quote for clarification, since so many have misunderstood what you said.
Though you say it's not intentional, you also say you are open to it, seem pleased with the results, and later say that completely non-sexual cuddling is only a fantasy, so not even possible.
I would say that your foundational beliefs and lack of concern that every single cuddle session has become more than platonic suggests that you are instrumental in those outcomes. At the very least, you are not intentionally keeping things platonic, which would be an expectation I have of myself and anyone I cuddle with when the agreement is for platonic cuddles. The fact that you don't, raises red flags.
Of course yummy feelings happen during cuddles... that's why we do it! It may seem to you that in the moment, everyone wanted something more intimate... but are you also 100% sure that every one of those cuddlers had zero regrets after? Can you be 100% sure that all your future cuddlers won't have regrets or question themselves and what they did?
We put ourselves in extremely vulnerable positions both physically and emotionally when we cuddle. As a man, you implicitly have more power in these situations. If you are not intentionally keeping your cuddling space safe from sexual energy, you risk doing harm, especially to women who often have a whole lot of complex sexual exploitation baggage.
If you feel sexy feelings from yourself or another during an agreed-upon platonic cuddle, please keep them in check. After... when the oxytocin buzz has worn off, when you both have clear heads, when you're in a physical space where there's no chance she might feel cornered or just say nice things for fear of offending you... you can have a conversation about it and check in with each other to see if that's something that you both enthusiastically are interested in pursuing in the future. You have no idea the mental gymnastics so many women have to go through to say "no thank you, I'm not interested" at the best of times! It is definitely not easy to say during a squishy cuddle session!
Maybe it was unconscious and unintentional... but now it's conscious and you are aware. How will you proceed going forward? Will you change anything, or will you dismiss all of this and continue to "have no expectations, but be open to more and believe that completely non-sexual cuddling is a fantasy"?
If it's the latter, how about you post it to your profile? I, for one, would want to know this track record and belief system about a potential cuddler.
I know better than to get in on this discussion, but I just could not let this comment by @comfortfood go unanswered.
"I was quite bemused to be characterised as a predator by someone that charges some poor lonely soul $100/hour for a cuddle. Setting aside the efficacy of any therapeutic benefits, capitalising on someone's misery smells like predatory behaviour to me."
For one the "poor lonely soul" is likely that way for a reason - typically past trauma - which creates the loneliness in the first place. Trust me, I was not thrilled to find myself in that situation either - but that was just the reality of the life cards I was dealt. I spent thousands on sessions with a pro to heal from that mess, and as a result can have normal relationships now. Yeah, it was expensive, but I don't regret the expense one bit. For you to be dismissing the work pros do in the way you do, is, at the very least, insulting to me.
Shame on you @comfortfood. That's really all I have to say. Clearly, if you feel platonic cuddling has no therapeutic benefit, then it's clearly something else you are seeking, which this site does not offer.
@CuddlesByDeep I understand your reluctance to get in on this discussion, but I'm glad you did. Thanks for being part of the solution instead of part of the problem.
@xelda ~ You are such a magnificent being! Thank you for taking the time and care needed to compose your post.
All the hugs and loves to you... 🥲🤗🥰
My question for my cuddlers when I talk to him or her before the cuddle is what are your boundaries. Everyone’s so concerned with mine but what are their boundaries if they have none then that makes me suspicious. Because at the very least they should have the boundaries that are written out in the form.