Image Content - Advice on How to Proceed

[Deleted User]LatinMan1963 (deleted user)
edited April 2022 in General

Hello!

I have a fear that what I’m about to say will be misunderstood here. So please bear with me if I try to explain my subject line for the great care and respect

There has been a few members who have posted about what is Cc all about whether it’s for cuddling or for something else.

Of course this is not a perfect portal or a business where everything else clear and pure as the Sun. What I wanted to say here it’s mainly asking for advice on how to proceed or not at this particular topic about photo images.

I have seen some members photos, discussing here of the female or male genders, where the photo shoot or message sent out based on the image content, is rather provocative and over sexualized. The poses, its message, the base message sent out does not seem to be that of a person who seeks platonic cuddles. Some of these photos resemble much of a dating website were physical attributes and demeanor can really cause a disturbance if I may say.

They can almost resemble that of a known website for dating called tinder. So when such photos are displayed in such manner, what is one to do upon such a findings? Should we skip the profile or should they be reported somehow to tone down the sexuality to make it more like in organization that provides comfort and cuddling and not something else.

My profile seeks only female cuddlers and that is all see. I have heard of some male cuddlers who do the same.

Again just raising respectfully and kindly this concern and question and please do not shoot the messenger or misinterpret to what I am saying here please

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Comments

  • quincyq03quincyq03

    Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, women’s bodies have been objectified, so much that women are ridiculed for both being too “sexual” and for covering up “too much.”

    Certain things (like nudity) are overtly sexual, but other fashion trends may be just that, fashion, while some may consider the trend sexual or too revealing. It’s more of a gray area, if you will.

    I’ve seen profile pictures on Tinder, for example, that seemed sexual in nature, yet the profile explicitly stated non-sexual intentions.

    With all of that said, pictures on a strictly platonic cuddle site should not be sexual at all in nature. I’d imagine the best thing to do is report the profile if it’s highly suggestive or overtly sexual. I could see it getting more complicated in those cases where pictures are not explicitly sexual, but still suggestive, if that makes sense.

    I’m sure some men (unfortunately) will interpret almost any picture in a sexual way. I’m sorry for the women on here who have to deal with people like that.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited March 2022

    If you find an image that is way over the line, Report it and let the mods figure it out.

    However, there is a generational question here. Photos that wrinklies like you and I might think are a bit sexual, may be perceived by people in their twenties as just normal pictures.

    I do occasionally report photos that break the Terms of Service, but I'm very cautious about it because I'm aware that I'm not a good judge on this point. It turns out that CC's interpretation of what is appropriate for a cuddling site is slightly more liberal than mine.

    What should you do? In most cases, nothing, because actually it's just a normal photo. The person may even be slightly surprised or shocked that the photo could be considered sexual.

  • LovelightLovelight

    If it swims like a fish and smells like an onion, you know something is off.

    Reporting helps, from what I know sexually suggestive especially when it is rather obvious isn't wanted here. If in doubt though your gut is telling you something is off, then it could still help to report.

  • frankparker9frankparker9

    I think the first two comments are spot-on, from my cultural viewpoint.

    A member might have "glamorous" pictures, or be wearing a bikini, or making duck lips, and you can't conclude they are trying to bring sexuality into it. As a man attracted to women, I can notice if I'm feeling attraction, and I'm not going to take it in the direction of, "They shouldn't be wearing that" or "They shouldn't be posing like that," because I feel that's a patriarchal attitude we are trying to move away from.

  • [Deleted User]snuggles1999 (deleted user)

    I have had very big breasts since 12 years old, my body has been sl*t shamed even when I wear a top that covers all cleavage since I was a child, not even a teen!
    That being said, when it’s hot in the summer I will be posting updated photos because I like to stay current so people know who they are meeting, does that mean I shouldn’t be allowed to post these updated photos because it may be seen as a “tinder” photo to others? No, not at all. And I would really hope no one would report me for naturally having large breasts and wanting to not wear a turtle neck in the summer.

    If you compare those “tinder” pictures to the persons social media’s that their family and friends follow, I can guarantee it will be the same because I have been on dating sites before in the past and like everyone else I knew, I used the same exact photos that were from my Facebook (most of these photos my mom and dad even took of me!)

    It’s not my fault at all if a man or woman sees my page and thinks of it in a sexual way, that is the thought owners opinion.
    Even fully clothed with no cleavage showing, a man or woman can sexualize you. Once again: it does not matter what you wear, if someone thinks you are “sexy” it won’t change based on the clothing or selfie choice (ex:duck lips and yes I have a duck lip picture, thought it looked cute, never ever have I or anyone I know has associated duck lips with being sexual).

    Every single person has a different opinion on what they think is sexual

  • [Deleted User]LatinMan1963 (deleted user)

    Thank you. Well, for example, one of the competitors of CC (Cuddlist), has its members display their image profiles to be discreet and professional. No need to show off half a breast, painted toe nails in the forefront, or dresses lifted so high that a meme has to cover the exposed private parts. The attention is placed on the the facial features and not on a body part.

    Cc for some reason has images approved that completely send the wrong signal. Like one kind female member said once in a forum “I’m not sure by CC is really about”.

    This sadly affects the cuddlers who are really here to help heal others. I cannot imagine a local hospital depicting their medical staff in such unprofessional way to their patients.

    What is being sold and you want to attract the customers. That is the primary goal.

  • [Deleted User]snuggles1999 (deleted user)

    Even in my scrubs, I was sexualized by a patients visitor. The ladies husband told me that my pants made my as* look very nice. I was wearing the same exact hunter green scrubs as the rest of my clinical group. So even in a medial professional setting, wearing SCRUBS I was sexualized. It really is just all about the thought owners opinion on what they find sexy

  • TravismoTravismo

    I’ve felt the same for quite some time but have been afraid to voice this concern for obvious reasons. It’s hard to put into words, but there are definitely some profiles with pictures that just seem overtly sexual. A woman having breasts isn’t an issue of course, and they can wear whatever they like, but for the purposes of this site it just seems odd that they would choose photos of themselves wearing very revealing clothing and posing in a way that accentuates their sex appeal. I mean, if you’re trying to attract cuddlers, wouldn’t it make more sense to be seen in cuddle-appropriate attire?
    I really don’t want to sound like a prude or a “well, what was she wearing” kind of person, it’s just a mild concern for the integrity of the site. And ultimately the only impact it has on me is that I might steer away from certain members because I don’t want to risk meeting someone with ulterior motives. Then again, the only times that’s happened to me were with profiles that lacked any overtly sexual pictures so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  • [Deleted User]LolaCats (deleted user)
    edited March 2022

    @snuggles1999 as a woman with curves that I am constantly being policed over, I completely agree with what you’re saying.
    It’s not our fault that anyone sees us in any other way except an attractive person taking a pic. While I understand what the original post was meant to convey, it’s still kinda weird that our bodies are being policed and shamed over. Or not being seen as “professional”
    If you feel uncomfortable with the pictures of a particular cuddler, then don’t approach said cuddler.
    If a man can’t control oneself to understand that us being dressed in nice clothes or something revealing to you in your opinion, that’s on them.
    I’m about to go to sears and get glamor shots in a lab coat. 😂
    Again, I completely understand what the original post was trying to convey, just coming from a woman’s perspective that’s constantly being objectified, I don’t think I’ll ever understand this viewpoint. Our body and what we wear shouldn’t matter. Honestly.

  • TravismoTravismo

    @snuggles1999 I’m sorry you have to deal with men sexualizing you, but I don’t think yours is the kind of profile being discussed. I’ve seen several profiles pop up with suggestive photos and sometimes even suggestive names that just give off a bad vibe. Those usually don’t stick around long, but I feel like maybe some sort of guideline on appropriate attire for profile pictures might be beneficial. It’s an awfully murky situation, though, it might be best just to leave it as is.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited March 2022

    @LolaCats and @snuggles1999 the OP is not talking about people like you. (I just looked at your profiles. None of your photos come within a million miles of the kind of thing the OP is talking about.)

    He is not talking about women's bodies at all.

    He is talking about the styling of, and posing for, photographs.

  • [Deleted User]LolaCats (deleted user)

    Yes I completely understand what he is saying.
    And he did say of the FEMALE gender in his original post.
    ☺️

  • [Deleted User]LolaCats (deleted user)

    Is the original post talking about the glamorous pics of the male gender? As well as a female presenting person?

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited March 2022

    For reference, the relevant line from the Terms of Service is

    Your photos cannot be suggestive whatsoever, even to a mild degree (e.g. focus on the cleavage).

    This thread is about what this line means.

  • TravismoTravismo

    I don’t want to ruffle any feathers, but men rarely have pictures at all, let alone hot shirtless pics (which would also be problematic for the same reasons)

  • quincyq03quincyq03

    Full portion from Terms and Conditions:

    Profile photos

    We have strict rules for what photos you are allowed to upload to your profile.

    You agree to only upload photos of yourself that are fully clothed. Your photos cannot be suggestive whatsoever, even to a mild degree (e.g. focus on the cleavage). You must avoid potentially offensive poses or gestures (e.g. the middle finger). Your primary photo should be of you, not someone else.

  • [Deleted User]LatinMan1963 (deleted user)
    edited March 2022

    I need to clarify again please, as a male customer here, my profile is it to look for a female Customers and this is all I see in my feed.

    I have no idea if men do the same for a female customers I don’t know. Maybe they are posing in tight briefs showing shapes that should Not be shown. I really don’t know how things are in that end of the spectrum.

    So to repeat it is not about objectifying women it is merely about professional cuddlers and enthusiast who show what they show and what is shown.

  • quincyq03quincyq03
    edited March 2022

    Not sure if this is a coincidence, but right now, under “latest” users, there is a picture of a male cuddler, topless, on the front page. So I guess some men on here have questionable photos as well.

  • TravismoTravismo

    Based on that one line in the TOS, there should be a lot more profiles getting flagged. I think we should either remove that rule, or enforce it more often.

  • [Deleted User]LolaCats (deleted user)

    I am completely aware of the TOS. Thank you ☺️ but the original post was referring to the female gender, how our pics are perceived, how we are posed, what we wear etc.
    And how some pics remind them of tinder. I’m not trying to argue or ruffle feathers either by stating how I feel about said post. ☺️

  • quincyq03quincyq03

    More from CC:

    Please note that shirtless photos can be acceptable if it's within context to the environment (e.g. on the beach). In either case, we reserve the right to keep or remove any pictures.

  • frankparker9frankparker9

    This isn't a hospital, though (or a McDonald's or an Enterprise Rent-A-Car). Cuddlers are freelancers. You are exposed to their personal fashion choices via their pictures. (And showing you their toenails, I guess, for whatever that's worth.)

    I think a good rule of thumb for commenting on what women are wearing, in a professional context, with no dress code, is don't. For example, my dad needs to just stop talking about the waitress's outfit already.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @quincyq03 if you haven't reported that photo, please do so. It's a clear breach of the TOS.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited March 2022

    @frankparker9 we're not talking about professional cuddlers' fashion choices.

    We're talking about sex workers operating covertly on CC. We're talking about unscrupulous people using their sexuality to take advantage of vulnerable clients. We're talking about the thousands of women who have been scared away from CC because of the sexual advances they have received from men who genuinely believe that cuddling is about sex or at least has a sexual element. Which impression is reinforced by certain photos they find here.

    Clothing is not particularly relevant to this thread because it's not about what is worn. It's about how it is worn, presented and photographed, and accompanied by what expression or pose.

  • frankparker9frankparker9

    @CuddleDuncan I disagree, this thread is literally about the OP's discomfort seeing too-sexy photos, when they are looking for a more "professional," clinical, healing vibe. I agree with your comment: "What should you do? In most cases, nothing, because actually it's just a normal photo." It's possible there really are lots of "too-sexy" photos, and CC should crack down and start policing "pose" and stuff. I'm glad that's not my job. I think the OP has revealed they have a narrow idea of what's "professional," though. Cuddling is not always clinical and impersonal. Someone's profile pictures might highlight their hobbies. You might end up going to their house. So you have to be prepared for 3D humans with different norms.

  • [Deleted User]LolaCats (deleted user)

    Exactly @frankparker9 thats exactly what a female gender presenting like myself was trying to convey especially since that’s what the original post was about ☺️
    Thank you.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    I 100% agree with OP and other men commenting here. I once brought this up and it didn't end well. 🤪🤷‍♀️ Just report questionable photos and profiles.

  • edawsewedawsew
    edited March 2022

    Ok, this is getting ridiculous. Whenever somebody makes valid points or asks legitimate questions, some CCers are so quick to jump on here and completely twist the subject or get defensive.

    The OP obviously said women because those are the profiles he chooses to view. If you women, or men, who view men’s profiles and find something sexual or suggestive, then by all means make a post about it or report it. Don’t keep repeating yourselves and each other on someone else’s post. You’re contributing nothing of value when you are regurgitating what you’ve already said - my opinion. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.

    Side note, if you defenders of the offenders would like, we can provide links to said profiles. I’d be more than happy to oblige.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited March 2022

    Having come across a few women's profiles, there are definitely profile photos that are highly questionable at best. It is my understanding that the type of images of concern in this discussion are things to the following* effect (adding cartoon pics to help illustrate the issue at hand) and not just cause a woman wears summer wear or happens to have big cocos. Will there be people who still try to sexualize others particularly women even for breathing normally*? Essentially yeah. Though in most cases what's at hand isn't their warped views. Though to think that just cause there are such people that there are no women as is mainly the discussion out there who are pushing it and throwing red flags left and right, does a disservice to all of us who are here for the right reasons.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Personally, not here to be photo police.

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