Ladies, when a new guy messages you and you check out his profile, what are some of the things you find interesting enough on it to cause you to reply and start up a conversation?
I am looking for clues that make me feel like the guy is sincere, truly interested in platonic cuddling, has some interests in common with me, is interesting or is a nice person.
I look for someone with common interests, and who would be a good platonic friend. I try to look for clues in the profile that indicate whether they are looking for a dating relationship/sex or platonic friendship as well. Another thing that's a plus is someone who is ethically polyamorous, and happy for me to meet their partners.
In general, I like seeing some effort put into a profile. If a guy is going to be lazy and not fill out basics and still expects any kind of response (along with an oxygen-sucking and cringe-worthy side of entitlement), then I hope he also hires a full orchestra for his self-inflicted pity party.
Common sense dictates: effort = more appreciation. Don't do the work? Then no soup for you!
Bonus helpful, non-ironic pointers said with totally a straight* (as opposed to gay) face:
^ calm down, men - don't take things so seriously
^ smile in your pictures and try not to look tired
^ ask questions
^ be interested
^ be interesting
^ be kind
^ when and if confronted with "no" - full stop. Do not pass go. Move on.
I'd like to find out what women think of my profile. In my mind it's all there, but it's totally possible I'm sharing all the wrong info. Any opinions?
@tallteddy Yours seems more like a dating profile. For purposes of cuddling, I don't think flaws and hobbies say anything useful or make me want to cuddle you. Women are looking for things that make them feel safe with a total stranger. I think you'd be better off to say why you want to cuddle, what you hope to get out of it, and say something about your character traits (honesty, sincerity, kindness) that would make a woman feel like you'd be worth meeting.
As an example, here's a profile of someone I'm currently messaging. There is a lot on here that makes me feel like this is a guy I want to cuddle with: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/choicesvital
@tallteddy I actually think mentioning hobbies is fine, as I'm looking for new friends and if we have a common interest, that can make it easier to have a good conversation with them. Not sure if mentioning your flaws is really necessary though - besides, I don't think anyone would expect you to cook in a cuddle session.
@BlueIris and @Sunflowerfield, thanks for the replies! They're very useful.
I did not intend to have it look like a dating profile. I can see how that could give bad vibes. Also didn't realise people wanted to know why I want to cuddle. Do I have to have a reason for it? I'll have to give it a good think, as me joining this site was an impromptu decision.
The flaws will go. I agree they're not very useful. Hobbies will stay as I do like to get in touch with people that have the same interests.
@tallteddy Profiles are difficult. In the first place, many of us have more experience in dating websites than we do in sites that hope to match us platonically for any reason (bowling leagues, garden clubs, pyramid schemes) let alone something as intimate as cuddling. So from step one, we have a practiced pattern. Secondly, there is substantial confusion. Read the forum on how to dress for a cuddle session and see how often words like "sexy" come up. Not a lot, but enough to make you wonder just what is on the minds of some. Listing your hobbies and favored activities is a good idea, I think. First, as you and @Sunflowerfield said, it is nice to find people with whom you share interests. But even if someone doesn't share your interests, they can be drawn to you because you HAVE interests. Some profiles really come off as they might be written by very bored people. Good luck to you.
I am fresh bee here. I put up my profile with a genuine description. I would say all of us need to be just ourselves and the journey shall begin. I see lot of professional cuddlers but very few regular Cuddle ladies so not sure what to expect. Will see. Is this more of professional cuddling site in everyone else experience?
@Cuddly4Ladies Your question is an interesting one. Some years ago, there were no pros on this site. It was strictly a community for cuddle enthusiasts --- that is to say, non-pros. Back then, some "hidden" pros, mostly from cuddle agencies like the snuggle Buddies (but also some independents) managed to sneak in. Often, guys would correspond with them, and then the women would spring the info --- "Oh, by the way, I charge for cuddles." At some point, the Admin asked us as a group if we wanted to admit pros who were clearly labeled as such --- no bait and switch. They'd have standards for their profiles and for their conduct, and they'd generate revenue for the site, helping to keep it free for enthusiast cuddlers. The decision was made to proceed, and I think it has worked out pretty well for the most part.
Enthusiasts still outnumber pros in most areas. Sometimes it doesn't look that way, though. I did a search for female cuddlers aged 19-55 within 100 miles of your city, with or without photos. Pros predominate the early hits: 3 of the first 4, 7 of the first 8, 11 of the first 12, 13 of the first 16, and 16 of the first 20. Since members are listed in order of last log-in, the disproportionate weighting of pros could be due to the fact that they tend to be more active in logging in to check messages, In any case, CC is the only site I know that has any non-pros at all since most sites (Cuddlist, The Snuggle Buddies, Cuddle Companions, etc.) serve only to connect pros with paying clients.
Welcome to CC! Only time will tell if women find your profile compelling, causing "the journey to begin." Good luck.
I've followed this topic with a great deal of interest. Anyone willing to read mine and provide insight, I'm appreciative.
Is my profile too blunt? I'm extremely (I thought) clear about my wants from membership here.
I do link out to my real-world persona both to let people gain insight, and to let them know that I'm not hiding under a pseudonym entirely. I could tone down the explicit/blunt items in my profile-
I thought upfrontedness was the way to go.
Thanks for any well meant feedback.
@BlueIris, I am flattered for what you to say about my profile in this open forum! Glad you could connect with me as a person via my profile. I just believe in speaking "heart out" of what's "in my mind"! I think doing that it just helps that you only get reached by people who can connect with your thoughts and have same level of emotional connect or need!
@strangemanNJ I checked out your profile and one of the main bits of advice I could give would be not to use some of the slang terms for things. Many of the people on this site know what an asexual person is, but don't know the term ace for example. Plus you listed your orientation as straight, but said you were ace. I know what an aspie is as well because my son is autistic, but some may not know that one as well. Also I was clueless as to what you meant by surrogacy and had to look it up on Urban Dictionary. Hope that helps some. :-)
My romantic orientation is straight. boringly so. I thought the slang a good idea because it limits the respondents on the category to those in the know.. I also go to munches
But, I'l modify a smidge for now and think on more.
First I would say effort, nobody will be too liking of an empty profile.
For most of us we like to relate (with hobbies and other things) and even if our hobbies don't match so much like someone had also mentioned just knowing you have hobbies and what they're is good. Sometimes opposites attract and some of us can benefit from being with someone opposite to us as it can allow us to experience new things like listening to music we don't normally, doing activities we normally don't etc. For some of us we would like to form a friendship or at least in the start be comfortable and know the person we are with better.
(I guess for some it can work to just shhh and cuddle, nobody cares about all that). However, for some of us forming a platonic connection matters.
Second, listing hobbies, a little bit about your personality (caring, like to help, outgoing, reserved etc)...
For me after that it's also the messaging. While I have had quite good experience with that here, messaging also needs to be made with effort. For example sending a couple of sentences of what you like about the person's profile or what you find relate able etc and that can help to open up better communication (it also makes it feel more close as you're starting well in the first place) as opposed to sending the auto hi.
Hope this helps a bit.
As for the question I kind of think it should be gender neutral because a lot of the things that would interest a woman also interest a man especially when we're speaking about this question. I would also say that a lot of the advice here can also help anyone regardless of their gender identity.
Hey guys! It's always a plus for me when a guy takes time to fill out the profile. Fill in the full form about your favorite movies and whatnot and be you in your description. That's what I like to see anyway. And bonus if you have pictures of yourself, but also understand there's a privacy concern there.
@Lovelight, great points!
@JennyBee, very well said and good point on the picture privacy! I tend to share my pics 1-1 when I connect with any cuddler. Although, I am getting this close to put my picture on profile.
@BlueIris, I am glad you gave example of my profile to be good reference even though it was missing picture at that time!
@All, I would say just be yourself speak out about you and why you are in for cuddling.. Let it flow from there. Additionally, browse cuddlers meeting your initial criterias and initiate connection with them. I believe the next key thing is connecting rightly. There should be almost a new topic on this forum on "how to initiate conversations with other cuddlers" .. I remember, Initially, I used to struggle personally to initiate connection. Being an introvert I am :-) .. But gradually I opened up :-) ..
@choicesvital There is such a thread. It's called How to Approach Someone as a Potential Cuddle Buddy.
Hi everyone! I am new (as of yesterday Nov. 2nd in Tacoma, WA) and would like some opinions/pointers/reviews of my profile. Whatever you want to call looking it over and telling me things about it. I would also like to do this for a living as cuddling is a very enjoyable thing for me. (I put 80/hr as the website told me this is the normal going rate.) Is the pay rate too high? I would greatly appreciate some outside views of my profile and rate of pay and such. Seems to be a great community here and would love to meet others and be more involved.
I'm brand new on here, and I would be grateful to anyone that looked at my profile and gave me some feedback. Thank you in advance.
Hey. I looked at your profile, since you asked. I see nothing inappropriate or against the rules or purposes here. I would offer that perhaps your book is more wide open than it needs to be. Naming your employing school could be problematic for you (think about some crazed rejected cuddle buddy showing up at school one day) and giving your nephews’ first names might slightly step on their privacy, but those are just judgement calls. You might also scare off potential cuddle partners in fear that you might be too open with all about your cuddle sessions.
Thank you, Greybeard. I am also looking for some feedback from women, so if any ladies are willing to do so, I would be very grateful. Thanks.
@Godot42 I agree with @Greybeard as far as revealing too much that should remain private. I see that you've removed your nephew's names and your school's name, but if I were you, I wouldn't even have the name of the area where I worked on there.
Your profile otherwise reveals you to be the kind of person that very much interests me. I look for intelligence, an interest in good conversation, a wide range of interests, empathy and kindness, and I see all of that in your profile. That you're a good writer is a plus for me personally. You've done a good job in presenting yourself, and you've got a nice photo. If only you weren't so far away . . . Good luck to you!
@BlueIris, thanks. I appreciate your advice. Yeah, we're on opposite sides of the country. I've taken my students on historic East Coast trips in the past, and have visited your area many times. It's a beautiful little town you have there. Good luck to you too.
The amount of effort put into their profile is huge. The more information, the better, especially a profile picture. If there isn't a picture, I will ask for one in our messages.
Another key clue I look for is if they are looking for strictly platonic or if they are looking for more sexual things.
This is a great discussion and everyone's answers are quite helpful. Thank you to everyone who put in their word.