When do you prefer to cuddle?

alcrawfordalcrawford
in General

(My first forum post, so apologies if anything is not as it should be)…

My question is more about mindset than time of day, although please feel free to answer the question as you read it.

I’m asking because I’ve been thinking about when we might need comfort and the security of a cuddle and whether those times are the times when we are not able to reciprocate with what our partners might want or need from us…

Comments

  • alcrawfordalcrawford

    For example, when I’m feeling down, I would definitely appreciate the contact, but when I think about it, it might not always be the most rewarding experience for my cuddle partner, which then actually might make me feel worse…

  • [Deleted User]Zundar (deleted user)

    I personally prefer to cuddle based on frequency rather than relying on moments where I've feeling especially down (though cuddles are generally welcome then as well), treat it kind of like with hunger or thirst. When you're really hungry or thirsty that's your body telling you that you need food or water, but by the time you feel those things your body will already have been needing them and you're just topping it up. It's better to eat and drink frequently and consistently enough to not have to deal with proper hunger or thirst.

    Not a great analogy but similar with cuddles and the mental health aspect there, better in my opinion to cuddle when you can to keep your cuddle meter as full as you reasonably can rather than waiting for it to dip down really low even if it'll make the most impact when its at its lowest.

    Regarding whether it's a less or more rewarding experience for the other cuddler or cuddlers involved I think that's more subjective. Some people find it more rewarding to help others with not as much gain for themselves, others would rather only cuddle when both they and the other or others involved really need it, some just cuddle whenever no matter what. It's good to think about though. Personally I'd definitely prefer for a situation where all the people involved are getting a good amount of fulfilment out of the cuddling but so long as it's what they want to do and they have an enjoyable experience, I'm fine with it.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Welcome, @alcrawford. Great first post.

    Top tip of the day: after you have Posted, you can edit what you have written for 24 hours. Click on the little gear icon at the top right of the post.

  • [Deleted User]Btown (deleted user)

    @alcrawford Actually I think when you are down is a really good time to cuddle. It's a matter of communicating with your partner what you are feeling and what you need. Cuddling will make you feel so much better.
    Welcome to forum posting.

  • waynewvwaynewv

    I prefer late evening, 6-7-8pm, because after a nice cuddle I am so relaxed I can fall asleep so quick.
    many times I'll doze off for a few min's in the cuddle. my brain kind of goes into Neutral as I would call it.
    When in a nice cuddle, nothing bothers me at all, I forget anything that was causing stress before the cuddle.
    Once I had a cracked rib, during the cuddle, it never even hurt.
    This is a U Tube video I play with sound effects

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod

    If I cuddle with a friend or family member, it's usually when they are feeling down and need the emotional support. However, when I'm feeling down and emotionally needy, I often just reach out to a pro.

    The main reason for this is that I (usually) have the financial resources which make the choice to offload that work to a pro a simple decision. The other reason is that by now I've built a certain comfort around reaching out to a pro where those in my immediate circle of loved ones might still feel a bit strange about the idea. Doing this gives me the emotional fill I need to be able to be fully present for my day to day relationships. In the long term, I feel the money invested in sessions for myself is money invested in having healthy and supportive relationships around me, which directly helps with my own well being.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    How soon is now?

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    I prefer cuddles to be during my lifetime, and that of my cuddle partner.

    Other than that, I'm pretty open.

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