Professional Cuddlers?

Ed60Ed60
in Pro Cuddling

I was wondering if anyone has had the problems that I have had in trying to have a nice cuddle session with a professional cuddler? For the past several months I have sent cuddle requests to numerous so called "professional cuddlers" but for some reason never get replies. I have always been polite when requesting cuddle time with a professional cuddler so that is not an issue, I always advised to talk on the phone and/or meet at a public place (i.e. coffer shop) before we even cuddle. I am 57 years old and maybe believe that is the reason for no replies but still if you are a "professional cuddler" you should at least reply. Anyways, anyone out there who continually get no replies from professional cuddlers?

Comments

  • mellowmellow

    This has been discussed before and the reality is that there are really few pros that make a living off cuddling and therefore take the time to check their inboxes and respond to the majority of potential cuddlers.
    There are a lot that sign on to be pros but intend to do it only on their spare time and with whom they deem likable and somebody that they would cuddle even if they weren’t pros because there’s a mutual match in interests, looks and age.
    So what I gather from the many guys that have posted about their experiences is that you message somebody and if they don’t respond you simply move on.
    They are not obligated to respond and free to cuddle whomever they want. Also there has been stories about guys who get a polite rejection and they get aggressive and take a nasty tone toward the cuddler so their no response is understandable because they don’t wanna deal with any potential bad behavior after the rejection.
    I’ve seen this first hand recently when I guy was rejected by a well known pro and he got to insulting her and make nasty remarks about her until he was banned.
    So long story short, if they don’t respond move on, they are not obligated to get back to you if they don’t want to.

  • quietman775quietman775

    This is a recurring theme on CC. I understand your frustration; the moniker "professional" would seem to imply certain minimum standards in business practices, regardless of the line of work. Completely ignoring inquiries from potential clients doesn't seem to fit that expectation. @mellow is completely correct to state that no one is obligated to take on every potential client. It's also true that some guys get angry and abusive when told no. So some pros manage to the lowest common denominator, ignoring the people who don't interest them, rather than taking the risk of getting push back from individuals they decline to see. These cuddle pros probably feel it's a case of "damned if you do, and damned if you don't," since either course of action (responding or not) is going to net them some grief.

    I have a fairly complete profile and good karma from several people, both pro and non-pro. And still I can think of half a dozen pros who have ignored my inquiries. Like many things, it's a numbers game. The good news is that most pros are indeed responsive. I have met and cuddled with nine or ten pros from this site, and with about 20 cuddle pros overall. So it can be done. Good luck.

  • ScarletteScarlette

    @Ed60... Come on down to Maryland! I'll give you a great cuddle!!!

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Ed60 Not sure what your communication style is like, but make sure that make attempts at small talk and get to know them as a person first. Try to make sure there is communication, rapport, and connection first, then talk cuddling. I admit that I do not procure services of paid cuddlers, however I am friends with quite a few and though they mostly live out of state, I know for a fact that if I were ever up their way they would cuddle me in a heartbeat for free just for being their friend. So friends first, cuddles later, and you may even find a regular cuddle pal or two who is willing to cuddle cus they like you, and not cus you are a client.

  • [Deleted User]FlowerofLife (deleted user)

    Hello CC fam!
    I've been professionally cuddling since I signed up exactly one year ago this month :-) I feel the importance of connecting with someone on an energetic level is first and foremost important. When there is a potential client reaching out to me, and has no bio or photo, I request that both be sent to my email address.
    Being an empath a person, it's easy for me to pick up the energy of a person by their photo :-) if all feels good there, then usually I would request to proceed forward with a phone call. A five-minute chat on the phone does wonders to break down any apprehensions either one of us may have. I have never refused communication with anyone! Providing the service that we do as professional cuddlers, in my personal experience and opinion, everyone should be treated as a human being, as a potential friend, not just dollars signs! Reconnecting to humanity and stepping out of the, it's all about me and I, we are all here on this site in need and desire of something more than just ourselves.
    Keep calm and cuddle on!

  • cuddlebugTMcuddlebugTM

    I agree we all should be treated well . No pic is ok with me they can send to email . The no info at all I’m not comfortable with even just a little about me is better than nothing . Seeing nothing makes me more cautious

  • LovelyCompanyLovelyCompany

    Hi @Ed60

    I am sorry to hear that you're having such difficulties.

    I agree with @cuddlebugTM a blank profile could be interpreted like this: "this person did not take the time to fill up his/her profile, why should I take the time for him/her"

    Also, if the profile was information poor, a message, where the person explains what s/he is after, a bit of his/her (non) cuddle experience AND an indication of some sorts that s/he read the Pro profile, may increase your chance.

    Quoting or responding to some stuff said in the profile, either the Intro, or the favourite TV show, or anything that happened to catch your interest, may help you to get more responses.

    I don't know how you phrase your requests but something pushy or desperate can be perceived as negative; I am not saying by any means that is what you have done. If those Pro decided to reject your requests, it is their right; I understand your frustration though.

    Having said that, I would hope that contacting a Pro would make the Cuddle Process easier. Here are a few tips I can think of, maybe try one or all of them and see what works:

    • try a different wording –message styles and tones. If the person displays humour you can adjust your language too
    • if you see common interests, mention it; or show your appreciation for something specific you read
    • before sending your message, ask yourself: Did my request shows any kind of interest for that Pro Cuddler as a person?
    • Is my message personalized (vs bulk message send to all)?
    • Is my message clear (vs vague or ambiguous)?
    • Do I sound positive (vs needy/negative/frustrated)?

    Hope you will get a chance to experience a nice cuddle very soon. And if you had had (since your comment in November 2017) would have been the factor(s) that changed your response rate?

  • ScarletteScarlette

    Actually, @Ed60 looks like he's doing just fine now! Congrats, you 5-star cuddler!!!

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Yes agreed, looks like you’re doing just fine. Those 5 Star karmas and great recommendations.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    The "pros" on here who are just on here for easy money cuddling guys they would cuddle with regardless frustrate me. I hold myself to a much higher standard as a "professional" =P I'm here for anyone who is having trouble, but I'm in central VA ;-) I'm glad this particular OP was able to find people to cuddle with though! =D

  • SunflowersuzSunflowersuz

    Well, personally. I treat this very seriously, I am a Psychologist by trade and my warmth and empathy are real. My problem will be trying to not get to connected to my fellow cuddle's. I have gone from 16 yrs of marriage and constant cuddles and touch to nothing. Now with mounting legal fees, I figured this would be a good way to do the 2 things i love the most in this world, Cuddling and connection.

  • bonitabonita

    It also helps to have a photo as well. :+1: But I agree that it could be that they are rarely checking their inboxes or that they are just not replying. We don´t know. Again, I would stress uploading a photo, too. I don´t respond to too many requests without photos.

  • warmlyhelenawarmlyhelena

    I am new, but personally feel like (barring the message being inappropriate or something that feels unsafe), I will respond to everyone. The last thing I want, when aiming to offer healing and compassion, is to leave someone feeling vulnerable and rejected just for reaching out. I am seeing some great procuddler role models here! Thank you for sharing your experience!

  • [Deleted User]lilredmage (deleted user)
    edited April 2018

    I'm curious. I have read several accounts (and even experienced them myself) of "pros" who don't respond to initial messages from potential clients. And I don't mean as if they are busy. I mean it as in they will actually come to view your profile and then promptly ignore you thereafter. And these are clients who are respectful and send general inquiries. I've read the requirements for being a pro on this site. The third bullet point states "You are accepting of all races, ages, genders, and sexual orientations." So why are these professionals not being held accountable? Not only does it send potential clients away from those other professionals who are trying to build their client base and genuinely help others, but that is also potential income being loss for this website.

    If you require that a client have a photo of themselves in their profile, then you should state so in your profile. If you require that you need to get to know them a little first before you will accept them as a client, then you should state so in your profile. A client should never have to guess why a professional hasn't contacted them. And if the worry is about the client suddenly becoming angry or aggressive, then block and report them. You are a professional. You are advertising your services. You are held to a higher standard. That's why you are a professional, after all.

    I can understand the difficulties as far as trying to find an enthusiast, but that is just the nature of communication in the online world. That is not my concern here. But when it comes to professionals, why should a regular and respectful client have to go through so many hurdles to simply inquire about an initial session with a professional when the very contract that they agree to states that being discriminatory isn't allowed? If they want to be very selective about their clients in that way, then they shouldn't be allowed to be professionals on this site, correct?

    It is not my intention for this post to come off as angry or emotional. But it does bother me when I see professionals talking about the benefits and healing powers of touch, and yet you have clients that come here who are alone, sad, or depressed only to be completely ignored and they have no idea why. What kind of message do you think that sends?

    Edit: I really hope that didn't come across as mean or rude. I know professionals have their own challenges to deal with, as well. Hugs

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @lilredmage I completely agree with everything you said. The only comment i have is that the inbox here is very basic and unsophisticated. Often I will check a message on my phone, look at their profile, but want to reply on my computer. I now realize how that may look to the other person :-( The problem is that it's really difficult to be able to tell which messages you've responded to, and which are still waiting. Sometimes that messes me up in getting back to someone as timely as I would like :-(

  • mellowmellow

    I seldom see pro cuddlers (three in two years) and one reason is that is that there have been a few times that I’ve sent a message to a pro introducing myself and letting them know that I would like to schedule a session and I don’t get a response. So what I’m thinking is there’s something about my profile they don’t like (maybe my age) or the more likely reason is that very few pros here are actually serious about this and just sign up and hope to make some money on the side whenever they have the time and after little while they just stop coming and their profiles become filler on the site.

  • PinkLipstick22PinkLipstick22

    I second what Ubergiggle said above. There have been times I went to reply to someone and found I already had, or was awaiting a reply for weeks only to finally find the response the person had sent one that was received in the inbox that very same day. I need to figure a way for me to find organization in the inbox.

    One suggestion would be to go back to receiving email notices when we get messages on here or some other way to get an alert so we aren't accidentally ignoring anyone.

    @mellow , I checked your profile and it looks good to me. One possible suggestion is when you search for cuddlers, make sure you are looking in your immediate area (most are defaulted to that so you probably are) and then the cuddlers appearing on "top" of the search are those who were on the site most recently. The ones near the bottom of the search haven't been on in awhile. When you click on a profile, you can see when the last login time was. Maybe this will help so you are messaging those most likely to see it.

    I hope you get awesome cuddles soon!

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