Alcohol doesnât solve much but in the hands of the right person it can be fun.
~ Sunset Snuggles
But seriously. To all you guys out there. There are reasons women start these threads repeatedly. There are so many guys that mistakenly believe that no is a synonym for yes. That a womanâs words and rules are not hard and fast but he is therefore they are merely suggestions. That a bird in the hand is not equivalent to two in theâŠwell, you get my point.
Donât be a goober and try and find the exceptions or the anecdotal evidence for female wrongdoing because you will find that but entirely miss the pointâthat we need to police our own before we are all lumped in together as part of the problem. And all the good stuff goes away, which would suck because I love female cuddles!
@FunCartel I hope that guy in the story was put behind bars.
There are still people around who were raised in the era of "I know I should play hard to get" & "keep trying, she's just playing hard to get" and never learned better.
@sunnysideup No. No lawyer would take her case because 1) there were no marks 2) she didnât explicitly say no 3) he denied it and 4) and the one lawyer who was interested couldnât get the DA to bite.
She said she didnât like what he was doing but didnât say stop because as she said she just wanted it over with. She consented to sex, but not the rough sex. In short, he did a fine dance along a very grey legal line.
Once she says stop, you stop. It doesn't matter if consent was originally given. It's still rape if you continue after she says to stop.
@Mike403 But you missed what I said. She told him âI really donât like that.â She never said stop and the rest is he said, she said. One lawyer told her about the only thing I can do for you is get a restraining order. The DA wouldnât touch it with no tangible proof.
So while you are correct, that is not exactly how the legal system works unfortunately. Especially with DAâs whose jobs are voted on. Conviction rates matter.
edited for privacy
@SunsetSnuggles I easily believe it.
And I know itâs Hollywood and usually not factual, but Denzel Washingtonâs cop in Training Day was correct when he said âItâs not what you know, itâs what you can proveâ. And bad guys know that.
@FunCartel
@CuddleWho Are you literally calling @pmvines a liar?
More questioning his reading comprehension than his honesty.
@CuddleWho if multiple people are saying the same thing to you then it might be more about what you are saying , and not about how it is being comprehended . But it's your wheels , spin em all you want
@pmvines Feel free to point out or explain how anything I said in this thread "discredit[s] or disprove[s] the mass sexualization of women." I'll wait.
In fact, if you look at what actually happened, you'll see that when @nycuddlerny actually questioned these women's stories, I said his comment was bizarre and then later said
"your unwillingness to take these accounts at their word is ridiculous"
But when someone says something that kind of disagrees with you, it's easiest to just assume he's disagreeing with the obvious and solid part of your point rather than engage with what he's actually saying.
I'm convinced that all that men want is sex or something that satisfies their fetish. Even when I met someone on Facebook, not on CC, who had a cuddle fetish (among other fetishes except for actual sex) he wasn't making an effort to see me after awhile. He was also being dodgy: he wouldn't tell me where he lived but he knew where I lived. He even asked me if he could come in a couple of times the one time he drove over to see me. When he chatted with me about getting together again he talked about getting a hotel room and said he couldn't stay long because his brother who he lived with would get suspicious, plus he had to feed the cat. He implied an interest in me but would ignore me when I outright asked him if he was interested in me. When I pinned him to the matt about it he denied it and said it couldn't happen anyway because his Mom wouldn't approve. So I cut off the friendship with him. It was much later that I found CC. So far I met two guys and they both wanted a little more than cuddling.
@FectionKitty - Report anyone who crosses the line. They shouldn't be here if they are looking for anything other than cuddling.
Original comment deleted because I was grumpy and being too harsh and making a personal attack. Which whether I agree with the comment or not, I should not be getting personal about it . My bad.
Most men have crossed a line; some do it often. Most women don't say anything when a line is crossed. It's really only in the last few years that some women are starting to speak up, and that some men are learning that what they did (and still do) is not ok. We are all learning that "the line" starts waaaaay before "rape" and that's when you have to check yourself, ask if it's ok, say something when it's not.
It's not just about the extreme end of the continuum. It's about all the insidious things - big and seemingly small - that contribute and maintain the larger problem.
This morning I got yet another first-time message that was "Hey babe how are you?" I reported and blocked him. If you think I was being overreactive, you're not listening and you're being complicit in perpetuating the problem.
To the women speaking here, I'm listening and I hear you. I'm sorry for all the negative experiences you've had because of men.
To any of the men struggling with this message, we lose nothing when we stop talking and listen.
Can this discussion be deleted? It clearly was started by a woman promoting gender bias rather than looking at herself for poor dates and has snowed balled into a #metoo movement that has been proven bias. OP couldve turned to platomically cuddle women if she wasnt trying to date. But of course if you remind some ppl of that you get banned like that man at the beginning of the thread. OP isn't even on the site anymore. If you want to tell your story that badly speak to a therapist rather than an online community that's trained to gas light you or get banned. Sorry to all the men out there trying to say exactly this but are banned instead.
@Vianca shhh đ€« youâll learn quickly here that we must âstick to the programâ
@Vianca Let's all have our say and choose which threads to comment on and which ones to avoid.
@Vianca & @cuddles_ndream ~ đ€ąđ€ź to you.
đđŒ
@Vianca - whatever you do , do not fall for the bait! đ
Yeah. Def better to blame victims rather than those who cause harm.
"rather than looking at herself for poor dates"
Just wow.
@Vianca the OP was not looking for a date. As she specified right in her first message, she just wanted a platonic cuddle and she was off put with how this man responded afterwards. We are free to discuss issues regarding this and trying to stifle or victim blame is not appreciated here. Youâre free to move along but trying to victim blame by saying she should have done a better job at looking for potential cuddle partners is not the right way to go about this. She may have left but these conversations are still important to have. If you would like to harness your inner misogyny and victim blame, you wonât find many agreeing with you.
@quixotic_life - I can picture you literally barfing on them.
I gather that most men and few women cross lines ⊠So what is the solution to this problem? Only verbal consent?
Hey @Mike403 đ havenât seen you since that â A teacher was fired for not meowing at student who identifies as a cat.â thread, let me see if I can find it âșïž