A good rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't say it to a guy friend (if you're straight), you shouldn't say it to anyone on this site.
@Mike403 - I don't think that I have any gorgeous guy friends
@GreatHornedOwl That is an excellent distinction. I have been mulling over why some compliments immediately throw red flags, while others make me glow. And you've nailed it.
Compliments such as, "You have a lovely smile" or "You have great taste in shoes" feel awesome, while I've also had guys here say verbatim, "You have the perfect body for cuddles" and "You have pretty feet, let's see the rest of you" which are an immediate red flag and turn-off. All are compliments but what they infer is totally different.
~ Sunset Snuggles
@Bunny_Kisses You're right that non-platonic behavior should not be tolerated in cuddling. I'm really concerned for you because your description of your experiences suggests that you seem unable to push back. I'm not saying that it's your fault, or that you're bringing it on yourself. You're not. But from your description it seems like you're "frozen", which scares me to think about it. If I were you, I would strongly consider the possibility that this calling is not for you. One other thing that I find questionable is that you have "kisses" as part of your handle. Kissing of any kind is not platonic within CC, even if the kind of kisses one might give an actual bunny are. You're not a rabbit. Again, you're not the instigator of the behavior. I just wonder if you're able to push it back enough to remain safe. Your description of events suggests that you're not able to. I'm very sorry that you've had this happen to you. Don't shoot the messenger please!
@UCpaaHVg6u0 - I would question the assertion that "Kissing of any kind is not platonic within CC."
A kiss to the back of a woman's hand is most certainly platonic. Per Wikipedia "Hand-kissing is a greeting gesture that indicates courtesy, politeness, respect, admiration or even devotion by one person toward another. A hand-kiss was considered a respectful way for a gentleman to greet a lady."
Also from Wikipedia "A forehead kiss is a social kissing gesture to indicate friendship and/or to denote comforting someone. A forehead kiss is a sign of adoration and affection."
I would think that either of these would be quite acceptable within CC.
@GreatHornedOwl While I agree that a kiss has a range of meanings depending on culture, circumstances, and type of kiss, it is one of the things that is specifically disallowed in the CC terms and conditions.
Whether or not one agrees with your opinion in principle, we all consent to operating under those terms and conditions by continuing to use this site.
@JoyfulHeart - I just took another look at the Terms & Conditions, and I don't see that it prohibits either of these types of kisses. What is banned, is communicating a desire to cuddle while (among other things) kissing.
As I read it, a kiss on the back of the hand, or on the forehead, or even om the cheek, either before or after cuddling would not even be a violation of the intent or the spirit of the T&C.
Either way... "Bunny Kisses" opens the door far more so than "Goat Cuddles". Plus a perv might think... "Oh yeah, I know what this leads to!! Gettin it on like rabbits!!"
Do I think she intends this? NO. But I can see how some user names lead to mental twistings that may not be favorable upon meeting.
Think also ~ Snow Bunnies, Play Boy Bunnies, Adult toys, etc. Whatever your stance on the "Kisses", it's really not much of a stretch.
Adding: Dear goodness girl!! I agree it's not consent and not okay for people to push boundaries without said consent being offered enthusiastically, but Damm!! if your name combined with your photos don't suggest you're open, I don't know what does. SMH... 🤦♀️
@quixotic_life - I agree completely. I would also think that while none of those names are violations of the T&C as written, they certainly violate the spirit and intent of the T&C.
See addition to above comment... 🙄
@quixotic_life - I also agree with your addition.
@Bunny_Kisses I'm sorry that this is stirring up dust. My concern is for your safety. I really don't care what your handle is. I think the point you make, that even "nice guys" will push you into non platonic territory is plainly a declaration that your experiences have been a struggle for you. Perhaps as a community we could focus on building up our cuddle providers with coaching from more experienced pros. Especially for ones who seem to have such high regard as yourself.
@Moxytocin What’s the title of that book? 📖 😅
You have such a cool / nice / interesting/ fun personality! 🌌
@cuddles_ndream Lol thank you. It was this one...
@Bunny_Kisses I have been concerned for your safety and afraid you can't push back.
@Moxytocin 😅 I love how it has a bargain price of $7.97 , and a “now only $3 dollars” 😏 maybe I should wait for the 1 time special of $1.25 lol I’m literally gonna see if I can find it now & buy it ☺️
@Moxytocin so I found a copy on Amazon $12.15 (smh I wish I had a better special 😒) but it is the very last copy so I better act fast, and I also found it for $5.62 , but I must pay $40 dollars for shipping 😂
Well that's no good! I was at Books a million. They had some books for $1 too.
Just found the website! Thanks.
Humans are terrible, most of the time.
This is not new, and this is not exclusive to gender, heritage, nationality, or culture.
It is simply humans.
@GoodRightHook I have to agree. I'm just glad I have found some of the good hearts here.
@GoodRightHook We tend to emphasize personal character as something distinct from the world in which we live. That is, the law is structured to treat adult persons with the assumption that they are solely responsible for their actions. That's not an unreasonable premise, but perhaps we need to look at the society as a supportive culture in which people are inextricably linked. When, say, child abuse happens, we find parents with poor skills who are stressed and make horrible decisions from out-of-control emotions. This is just an example to point to the fact that we are living in a toxic culture, with insufficient support for people to grow in healthy ways. As a result? Our culture is an aggregate of unhealthy people struggling without enough support. One thing that attracts me to CC is that there's a glimmer of hope for a meaningful connection to another person. I think many people arrive here in a broken state though. Man, I've been drinking coffee and maybe I'm going on too much but this makes sense to me.
@UCpaaHVg6u0
I agree, it is impossible to be healthy in a toxic world.
That there is any kindness or gentleness, at all, is basically a triumph.
We are all made of flesh, and the world is made of teeth.
@GoodRightHook I guess I want to have some optimism, that in my little corner of this despoiled planet that I can open a space for healing, to plant seeds for a more nurturing world. The awareness that we live in a toxic world suggests that I try to offset harsh judgment of people with some compassion, starting with myself.
"The awareness that we live in a toxic world suggests that I try to offset harsh judgment of people with some compassion, starting with myself." ~ @UCpaaHVg6u0
Shoink!! I'm stealing that for my wall!! 🤗
Again, I agree.
I do my best to be kind, be compassionate, and be creative. Any small spark I can make is a momentary happiness, but all of this is momentary, so why not be that spark?
But I have no illusions that it makes any "real" difference, or that it "matters" in any way.
Basically, I am here for the ice cream, and I am trying to not break the table, or yell at the waiters...
Wow. @GoodRightHook is good at saying what I'm so often thinking.
Compliments and terms of endearment are not inherently wrong. Relationship and context really matter. If you don't know someone, don't open with an endearment or compliment on their physical appearance. Period. If you do, it suggests a familiarity that just isn't there and can set off warning bells.
Instead of coming up with all the exceptions, maybe think of the times that it's happened to you. Maybe the salesguy who calls you "friend". Or how about the messages you might get from women calling you honey or complimenting you... don't you immediately think they are "fake", or catfishing?
@xelda
Relationship and context really matter.
They really do matter, and I can relate to what you're saying in the rest of your post. Terms of endearment are welcome when they're from people who truly know me. From a stranger, they can feel like attempts to flatter or manipulate me. There are exceptions to both of these examples of course, but they represent my general internal response.
I can imagine that a similar thing holds true for women and compliments.