I don't mind if the cashier at the grocery store calls me honey or sweetie, but he's not trying to establish an intimate cuddle relationship with me. If you're messaging a woman on here for the first -- and possibly the first several -- times, being conservative and formal is your best bet. Enthusiasts are guarded, suspicious and rightly so. We've had too many messages that are impolite and disrespectful. If you want to improve your chances of a successful connection, hold back with pet names and terms of endearment.
I've had a number of repeat cuddlers, and people I've cuddled on here that I've known for 4 years or more. I use terms of endearment with only one of them.
I'm too old to be called honey or sweetie. And too young to be called honey or sweetie.... There was a young girl working the register who called me sweetie recently and it made me think "oh my god, have I reached the age where young girls see me as a little old lady?" 🤯 But I also hate to be called ma'am. Just don't call me. Lol
@Moxytocin "Ma'am" is 100% unacceptable! 🤣 I like "miss". prances through daisies
~ Sunset Snuggles
Interpersonal relationships are challenging. Some type of relationships may be easier for you than others. Male vs. Female, public vs. Private, 1 on 1 interactions or even 2 to 1 interactions. My advice to you would be to learn about yourself, learn what you’re good at. How do you do that? Try everything and see how it feels. Also remember that you’re not for everyone and that’s purrrfectly fine. I’m not for everyone. It’s not supposed to be that way. Maybe cuddling men isn’t your thing right now. Or maybe the approach needs to be different. What about meeting in public, testing the chemistry out in a way that doesn’t feel forced, and then if you vibe, let’s go back to your place and platonic cuddle? I’m glad you’re hopeful and I’m sorry you’re disappointed. But you’re on the right track. You’ve addressed an issue now we find the root and solve the equation. You’re doing a great job. It’s totally normal to feel this way. Hey, last week I offered someone a refund after trying to cuddle for 2 hours and we just weren’t a good fit for each other. Sometimes it really do be like that. Don’t sweat it. You got this.
@NataliaBear 👏🏻
Joke..
@Btown You are a gem. 🤣
@SunsetSnuggles In fact those are my actual initials.
I missed when you look amazing became an insult?
@kleenkutt14: I believe it was somewhere around the time we stopped giving women enough compliments that don't depend on appearance to counterbalance the implication that appearance is all women have that's worth a compliment.
After marathoning this thread, I've typed a number of responses only to delete them and start over... I feel compliments should reflect the context of how they could be construed. I also ask myself what purpose the compliment would serve. Sure, there are MANY women on this site that look attractive in their pics, but why would I feel the need to tell them, if I was seeking platonic cuddles? Would the compliment tell them that of all they are, what I value most is how they look? I wouldn't want to be misconstrued as being that shallow. I usually reserve compliments until we've shared a conversation or spent time together, and comment on the time spent together or something in particular that was shared with me. I thoroughly enjoy discussions when the person I'm engaging with is speaking about something they are passionate about, be it a hobby or something they've amassed knowledge in. I feel complimenting someone based on their skill or knowledge is typically safe, and acknowledges that I value what they shared with me. This is me, but in a situation where I can assume that I'm being vetted by my comments because someone is concerned for their safety, I don't want to say anything that could make them feel uneasy, and I'm not going to question their judgement if they say they aren't interested.
@kleenkutt14 - It's not an insult. It's an indication that your intentions may be other than platonic.
@Btown You got me, there... I started reading the pic, going "Uhh oh..", then when it hit, I was like, "Ah Ha!!"
I commend your humor, sir...
I look for cuddlers that feel and express the way @jaswbrown does. I'm glad he could explain it.
Here are some ways I compliment people on their looks that are more than skin deep:
I want to get in contact with the person who made this discussion, video chat on me book it.
@nurturingman Those are fabulous, meaningful, non-sexualized ways of complimenting someone's appearance. Love it!
I would like to point out that complimenting someone's looks can be platonic. I'm not sure if that's the case here, I can't really tell what this emoji is. 😍 Are those heart eyes or is that just a regular smiley face? If heart eyes then yeah that's going too far, he's clearly crushing on you. But outside of that the comment itself wasn't inherently sexual in any way.
Considering there is a lot of talk in the news about body shaming issues, especially towards girls, and I've even personally heard a group of athletic looking teenagers talking about how "fat" they thought they were. I think complimenting someone like that, can in some instances, be meant in a purely platonic way to try to counter all the negative body shaming.
I never said anything to those girls I over heard because it's really hard for a man to say ANYTHING about a woman's looks without it being taken the wrong way. If it's negative in any way it's body shaming, if it's positive in any way she thinks you're trying to get something out of it. The reality is some times we're just empathetic, I hear a girl struggling who isn't happy with her own appearance and I want to say something to reassure her without it coming off as romantic.
Simply put, you DO look amazing to SOMEONE not to me personally cause I've never actually seen you before so I technically can't comment on my personal opinions in this case, but I'm confident that's true even without seeing you. I think everyone needs to be reminded of that some times.
The weird thing is when the gender roles are reversed and a woman compliments my looks, I don't generally assume she's sexually attracted to me... but I just tend not to believe her cause I think I wouldn't be single so many years if I was actually considered handsome. Some old woman was talking to me once at a bus stop and also started talking about her granddaughter who is around my age so I'm pretty sure she was trying to set me up with the granddaughter. Can't really remember why I didn't take her up on that offer, I don't even remember getting on the bus I was waiting for so I think I switched out at some point.