What you do when you can't afford professional cuddles and and people who don't charge for cuddles never replies???
You might have to think about increasing the distance you’re willing to drive for cuddles. New areas = higher probability of cuddlers
Save $2 per week by omitting some luxury and then after 12 months you'll be able to afford a one hour cuddle.
Do a carwash fundraiser? Stand on a street corner with a sign that says, "free cuddles"?
You go on the internet and complain about it . That always seems to take things in a more positive direction and increases your chances of a better outcome
We don't all charge. Some just love to cuddle.
🍿
I am new to this site but I have been thinking of what it would feel like to cuddle a stranger and I don't think I could be convinced to do it for free... I'm sorry but I don't think I owe free cuddles to men I don't know and if I ever decided to cuddle with a friend it would be once I've know them for a while under very platonic terms or in dating terms... if you think about it, even in dating it would end up costing you money except it would also require more time and effort to invest in the relationship as well as mutual attraction and commitment. Even when I use to date online, and chat online for months before meeting someone, I didn't usually feel comfortable cuddling as soon as we met in person, most of the time (at least for me) once we met I realized they were different than what I had expected even though we chatted so much and even facetimed, which is why I don't sign up for online dating anymore....
Professionals, yes, I agree.. no free cuddles and why should they?
Non professionals, very hard to get them to respond.. some don’t even say hello.. not sure why they are hanging around here.. I have the same question.. 😲
Story of my life lol 😂
Cuddling is a rich man's sport, similar to sailing and country club tennis.
I don't see the plebs complaining about not being able to sail because it is too expensive.
Human touch is not for the lower classes.
Go back to the drawing board. I had several rewrites before I got my first cuddle. You might even consider having a professional writer or psychologist review what you have written before you post it. I've consulted several people here at CC along the way. Once you get one friend coupled with a review from that person onto your profile, you will get another one at some point. I have never hired a pro and I am on my 5th cuddle buddy. This one looks like it is about to go long-term and guess what? She's referring me to her friend. She wants all three of us to cuddle.
As you grow and develop in this culture (for lack of a better term) you are not only paving the way for yourself but for everybody. Even if I never cuddled on CC, I would still hang for the experience of communicating with other tactile people who upon joining CC are admitting they need and long to be cuddled more so than most.
I am 68 years old. For this reason, I am beating the odds at CC especially considering I am an enthusiast only and have never paid for a cuddle.
So, there's hope @Redmantale but it takes time, patience, and a willingness to change and grow.
I personally ignore a lot of messages, and I'm happy to tell you why - maybe it will help!? This is absolutely not directed to you - maybe you write great intro messages. But here's my perspective as a non-pro cuddler.
Be Respectful Non pro women (and maybe just "women") get a lot of inbound messages. It takes time to read and reply to a message. No one owes you a reply, ever - when you complain like this, or send a frustrated follow up message, it seems really entitled, which I read as a huge red flag. It makes me worry that you will act entitled to my body if we ever cuddled!
Work on Your Profile If your profile is blank or sparse, and/or you don't have a profile photo showing your friendly non-axe-murdering face, I am very likely to ignore a message. I want you to spend the same amount of time and effort on your profile as I spend on mine - I know there are lots of legit reasons you might not want to write a lot or add a photo, but make some effort so I can get a sense of who you are.
Write a Great Message I get so many messages like:
These are not interesting messages! They tell me nothing new about me, and they tell me nothing at all about you, except that you are interested in cuddling (which, duh). There's nothing much to respond to here. You could ask an interesting question, or give me a compliment that is specific to me, or write something that shows that you...
Read My Profile It makes me feel like you care about my whole self when you respond to something I wrote! Another aspect of reading my profile is making sure that you are actually what I am looking for - I imagine this varies person to person, but I am not interested in people who are not geographically nearby or outside my age range. Again - respect my parameters for a cuddle buddy, and save us both the time if we aren't a match.
I'm so excited to talk to you and meet for cuddles, but there is a surprising amount of entitlement and laziness to wade through. I hope this perspective helps!
I'd be glad to know more about your experience. What do you find compelling in an intro message on cuddle comfort?
I agree with @pmvines. Complaining about it definitely helps, along with griping that enthusiasts don't answer you and wondering why we're here. There could be a lot of reasons why we're here and why we don't answer which are of no concern to you.
Of course, if we didn't hang around here, you'd be forced to cuddle with men.
Why not check to see the last time the people you message were online? Maybe they just don't log on any more. Why not ask for constructive advice on crafting a message to enthusiasts which would increase your chances for a reply?
@softkate - Thanks for the PSA. I just don't have the energy any more.
Ask a friend to cuddle.
Pick up a side hustle to earn some extra cash. I deliver for GrubHub on the weekends.
@stdisc0827
Just because they are not replying to you doesn't mean they are not communicating with others.
@pmvines @BlueIris
Awesome of both of you to shame anyone who is struggling, but brave enough to reach out and share their vulnerability.
I suppose you have both seen so many of these complaints that you have become jaded to the genuine loneliness, confusion, despair, and pain that makes those who do reach out seem like a perfect target for your own, well, whatever it is that makes people mock, belittle, and bully those who are in pain, or struggling.
@GoodRightHook coming out and complaining on the forums doesn't help your case . Call it shaming if you want , however all it does is set a negative imprint of yourself to the masses which doesn't help them to find anybody to cuddle with them . That is the point of what I posted . Maybe I'm not great at using kids gloves , but we are adults. I wouldn't exactly call pros costing money and non pros not responding to be a critical crisis situation, no matter what adjectives and heart string tugging words you want to ascribe to it.
m sure if you took a poll, spinning your wheels complaining are not high up on the list of things to make one appealing. Best to be constructive and move forward, not stay stuck in a rut of self pity.
This is also a resurrected thread from January, and OP seems to have found someone at least twice based on his karma so good on him, happy for that . Plus he has been here since 2013 , not exactly a new member with new member problems and nee member questions.
In a week or two there will be another identical thread about pros being costly, and nobody responds, and comments will be made, people will be accused of being mean, and eventually it will trail off until the next one comes along and so on and so forth .
@GoodRightHook 👏🏻 but like someone mentioned earlier here, “ Always enjoyable to watch humans frame everything through their own lenses.” … they’ll interpret what you just finished saying to fit their agenda.
My honest thoughts are that every human deserves to be part of tribe that values them, cares for them and where most human needs are met, regardless of their "value" assigned by a capitalist system.
Our system is profoundly broken, and I feel for those who are lacking these things that humans need. This brokenness is probably the most advanced in the United States, and it's no wonder that we have so many disturbed young men going crazy and becoming violent statistics.
If I was in your position, I'd want to flip over the monopoly board.
@pmvines - At least one of them is a pro. I don't know what the other one was since it's a deleted account.
The monetizing of basic human contact is an unfortunate situation.
Softkate Rezz
Thanks for commenting
However I have tried communicating in several ways. Described myself, ensured they get the message that I read their profile, complemented them, invited them to be a friend and everything asexual and still some don’t respond… I have sent pics as well… well, trust me.. sometimes I have to believe in myself and think the other person to be weird as they don’t want to care to respond..
Why should I think the fault is always mine when someone doesn’t want to respond.. may be it’s their personality that they might not have basic courtesies? I am not trying to be cocky or rude … 😄🤔
@stdisc0827 - They are probably already interacting with enough people and it's too time consuming to respond to every message that hits their inbox.
No response = "No thank you"
@MrMarkAndrew water cost money and rain is free. So yes human basic needs cost money including touch…. You can go over someone’s house and eat and drink for free. But if you go into the store, it’s going to cost you! This is the store! He’s looking in the clearance rack at the store. For me … I have a very busy life and yet I offer a service just as I do my massage clients and my private duty health care clients who all have basic needs that need to be met! You want to find a stranger in todays society, to find free time for you. It’s easier if it’s someone you know but a complete stranger. I love what I do! I take care of people in every expect of my life! But if I didn’t charge for my services, then either I would never have the time because time isn’t free…. Or I’ll be living out of my car giving free sessions! Neither of those outcomes are doable! It’s ok to skip over professionals… but it’s not ok to judge ….. yes there are volunteers in every aspect of life. I can’t afford to do volunteer right now, and yes I love getting paid to do things I love to do!
@Mike403 nailed it @stdisc0827
Men outnumber women here by a landslide. While I'm sure they appreciate the thoughtful messages, it's just not feasible to reply to every message they receive. Don't take it personal, it sounds like you're approach is on the right track.
@softkate Ditto.
Look for group cuddle events in your area. For example, CuddleParty.com lists several of them. They are a very affordable way to access touch and get your needs met in a safe way.
@MCcuddles2 you are the Cobert of cuddling sir. 😂😂😂😂
I was encouraged to post so... Below are words copied from my profile.
:Please Note: I'm not a, "Pro" or a "paid cuddler" (so I don't "book" sessions) ~ But my cuddles aren't free either. One should be prepared to spend time forming a connection with me prior to any cuddle considerations being afforded.
Image from the, "Quote of the Day" thread ~ @MissAdventurous