Thank you for sharing this.
As someone that got diagnosed later in life (I didn't take a DNA test like you, but I got pinged for it in therapy and took a full diagnostic test to find out if I did and to understand what type of ADHD I had and how to manage it), I can understand the feelings of disbelief and what almost resembles grieving your identity.
Without oversharing TOO much publicly here (which I also have a tendency to do and frequently end up deleting paragraphs of what I actually want to say), I can say this: In my experience, the label doesn't have to define who I am. I've seen it more as just a unique way that my brain works so I can understand it better.
If this is at all helpful, below are three ways of looking at my ADHD diagnosis that helped me a lot.
Essentially, learning I had ADHD has:
I hope that you can come to learn more about how and why you work the way you do and appreciate this new knowledge about your brain too.
@SnugglewithSam Thank you! When I first got my results, I felt very alone but I am quickly learning this is MUCH more common than I initially realized. I appreciate all the comment s everyone has left in this thread and the numerous private messages several people chose to send rather than posting publicly. This is such an amazing community!!
I had to laugh at your comment about sometimes deleting paragraphs you have written because I have done the same thing before (more than once).
My first cuddle partner I met on this site taught me “there is always a gift” in any hardship we face, our job is to find it. In my case, with neuro divergence, the gift has been in my professional life where the way my brain works gives me a huge advantage in many situations (problem solving and data analysis). It comes at a cost in my personal / social life but now that I understand myself better, I think it will be easier for me to roll with it 😊
@JohnR1972 @SnugglewithSam It’s amazing to have that knowledge about yourself and how you are not alone. It’s great how you are able to make that your strength instead of thinking of it as a weakness. Knowledge is power!
@blisscuddles - Thank you. When I was looking through my DNA results I saw so many medical conditions listed (some I was familiar with and many I had never heard of). Thankfully my genetic predisposition puts me at very low risk of any serious medical problems.
However, I have a genetic predisposition for high testosterone levels and “high risk tolerance” (I enjoy white water rafting and mountain biking). I think this means I need to be careful to not get over confident in my physical abilities and end up winning a Darwin Award 🤣
Labels are just useful shorthand for information that would take too long to conveniently present all at once every time.
Unpack a label and you'll find everything in there doesn't necessarily apply to every person wearing the label—it's more of a ballpark thing, suggesting common, uh, commonalities.
I remember when I first got my ASD diagnosis I felt like I'd been hit.
Turns out this was on account of I had some internalized ableism to deal with: autism explained so much about me that I thought it defined the whole of me—as lesser, weaker, broken, without the value an allistic person has, a drain on everyone around me. I thought that was what autism was, what it meant.
Autism $peaks certainly thinks so! And this is another facet of labels: they mean what people think they mean.
That is, when you use a label, it carries with it all the ideas and information the person you're speaking to thinks it does. Everything they have packed inside it and everything they think you have packed inside it—that's what they hear.
Useful, but also potentially misleading. It helps to keep a shaker of metaphorical salt around.
You are what you are.
A label can only be so correct.
IMO labels can be very hurtful. I agree with @pmvines . Labels can also be confusing and disruptive. For example I rearranged my spice rack the other day. No one has figured it out yet but the thyme is cumin.
@DaringSprinter Yes...... so many yesses. @Btown 😁🤣😂 I am so glad you are back around these parts!!!
@Btown: Ha! I'm sure they'll be salty when they do.
@sillysassy: Thank you.