You always have the option of asking your potential cuddler for their full name and then running them through Intelius and/or the sex offender registry. That would provide some peace of mind, I suppose, but as others have noted, it's not going to red flag everybody who's ever tried to grope someone.
I think a verified account would be very helpful. Background checks can be very pricey and if an expense to Cuddle Comfort, would be to much. Verified shouldn’t cost anything, but would help make sure people are legit and not just trying to scam people. It’s probably not 100% fool proof, but is at least better than nothing. 🙂
@Babichev - I'd bold and underline for all, because it's wise and true.
Do your due diligence. Pay attention. Get to know someone before you agree to cuddle with them. If something doesn’t seem right, don’t go there.
@Saysoh - No one is making anyone create an account and try to interact with other enthusiasts or pros. Of COURSE, it is the responsibility of every person on here to vet, to verify, to validate that the person they choose to interact with is real (vs Catfish 101) and serious (there are people warned, up to being banned, for no-shows, negative karma without having met, up to serial time-wasters). Due diligence is what people do, enthusiast or pro, to ensure they trust the person they're interacting enough to meet, let alone cuddle. This site provides the opportunity for connections - CC is not responsible for the cuddles and connections themselves. Originally, this site was created for enthusiasts, and over time Pro cuddlers were added.
I think @jaswbrown offers sound advice as well: "I think the best way to gauge someone's intentions, is to get to know them as well as you can. Read their posts, message with them, talk on the phone, arrange a public meet." Each and every time.
I thought this site was about human connection but it seems more people want to put up walls because they want an instant panacea to any risk. There is no such thing as having a risk free cuddle and adding more hoops just makes this site less inclusive and more skewed to the privileged.
Put in the work and you reduce your risk. In addition, what violent or sex offender is going to voluntarily pay for a background check? Or for that matter, do one even if it was free?
While I think a background check is a good idea it's really not something the site needs to provide or that you even need to pay for. You can do it yourself for free. Just do a google image search on their profile pictures, see if any of them come up on other web sites. If you can find the original source you can message that person and find out if it's actually the same person and if not then you've likely discovered a catfish and made someone aware that someone is stealing their photos and pretending to be them.
In all honesty, if someone needs to do a "formal" background check on me (or me on them) before a session, both of us will be much happier cuddling with someone else. Mutual trust is a crucial element of any cuddle for there to be oxytocin release! When I go for a session, I go to get in a space where I am received openly. If I don't feel that acceptance, it just doesn't work.
@CuddlesByDeep While background checks for others would be fine by me, I feel as you do regarding myself and my cuddle partners
Just to clarify, I’d love to see an icon on someone’s account that showed they have completed a voluntary background check as an additional assurance that they will be “safe,” or that they have a willingness to be transparent. I fully understand and respect the fact how ever, that some people do not have a desire for that level of transparency and it does not necessarily correlate with any non platonic desires or inclinations, but perhaps to their own sense of security or principality. Additionally, a background check is only illuminating that someone may not have been convicted of certain crimes within the time frame they have had it. It does not demonstrate that someone will be respectful, not push boundaries ect. While there seem to be red flags for those who have less than platonic inclination I fully agree with @babichev and others who have said it is in one’s own best interest to practice due diligence. Someone else said, ‘the devil is in the details,’ and I agree. @CuddlesByDeep I can understand the need for a safe space and from both perspectives ~ to be seen, heard, held and accepted exactly as we are and also to mitigate the inherent risks of cuddling and connecting by way of screening and seeking additional assurances. To that I say there is no wrong answer and no one size fits all. Just like karma, I could see a background check potentially giving a false sense of security. My biggest assurance within my vetting process has been reputation. Networking as a paid cuddler has proven to be critical as the more we all know and trust one another the better we can refer one another and also advise one another regarding who is respectful, safe, ect. Maybe people could voluntarily opt into it and then pay the site to enable an icon to verify that?
@Saysoh I hear your concerns and I myself have a mind that continually wants to make things safer and more successful for pretty much anyone I encounter. My thoughts on your perspective however would be different in that I am wholeheartedly grateful for this site and platform which so graciously enables so many people to cuddle and connect. Due to this site I have already made life changing friendships and deep bonds with amazing souls I would have otherwise never shared platonic intimacy with - yourself included! 😊 Having seen first hand just how many lives this site has impacted and for the better just recently at the St Louis meet and greet just blows my mind. Even more recently I had a great conversation with someone who shared how grateful they were that the site did not hyper focus on money like other sites for connectivity so readily do. We are enabled free platforms by which we can market ourselves for connectivity, we can message one another unlimited and even freely converse in these forums - every bit of which could be monetized. It could not be more clear to me that the site is pure and about promoting connectivity. Beyond this, there are processes by which the site works diligently to promote the safest and most successful environment for all. We are all here as community members voluntary and I don’t feel entitled to services or site features especially as I learn more about this budding industry as a whole. Being a pro I have seen and been made aware of the work that our mods and site owners are doing I AM GRATEFUL! The internet can be a strange and unsafe place yet we have these amazing volunteers working hard to pour into this community and serving us heavily behind the scenes. This whole community is really something special.
@Nature_Lover_ So very well said!
@achetocuddle thank you
@Nature_Lover_ great post. I’m thinking the same thoughts as you on this.
@OhioMike Thanks 😊
I thought this site should do backgrounds checks at one point too until I was here for a while, saw some other posts about it, and thought more about it.
This site is basically a social media and ad listing site where people can post profiles and meet each other. The payment pros make is like a premium listing fee. Pros are supposed to be business people responsible for every aspect their own businesses including whatever screening procedures they use. We are not employed by CC. We're not even contracted with CC (like say Uber drivers).
Anyone can buy a membership to a background check site like Instant Checkmate (I've used this one) if they choose. Pros would claim that expense on their taxes along with travel, hotel, and any other business expenses. Non pros can also do this if they wish, it just wouldn't be a business expense on taxes.
That being said, in the case of massage therapists, nurses, teachers, etc, membership sites like Angie's List which lists handyman/home improvement type pros, or care.com which lists babysitters, house sitters, housekeepers, it's the pros who pay to get themselves background checked or pay a membership fee to be listed and get themselves background checked, not the clients.
Even more recently I had a great conversation with someone who shared how grateful they were that the site did not hyper focus on money like other sites for connectivity so readily do. We are enabled free platforms by which we can market ourselves for connectivity, we can message one another unlimited and even freely converse in these forums - every bit of which could be monetized. It could not be more clear to me that the site is pure and about promoting connectivity.
This was really nice to read. Thanks for sharing.
@Nature_Lover_ Thank you for this post. I have similiar thoughts.
@Moxytocin writes: Anyone can buy a membership to a background check site like Instant Checkmate
@Moxytocin Not making a judgement on you or on anyone here - but a site with a name like that just makes me cringe. Is that what we want to be doing to the people we meet in our lives with hopes of sharing cuddles with them one day - checkmate them? Yuck.
I normally host at my home when I hire a pro - and once I give them my address they can easily look it up in free places to indeed check it's my home and I am who I say I am. And the sex offender registry is free too. Probably if they search for my name or my image tons of images of me with some of my friends and family will likely show up. I don't have anything crazy from my past which I need to hide, but the thought of anyone other than a potential employer or an organization I volunteer with to be running a background check on me is sickening.
I appreciate everyones thoughts here but it seems this thread has served its purpose.
@Nature_Lover_
We're just going to have to differ on this because evn though you're grateful, where the site owner chimed in, I still feel like it should be the site's responsibility to evolve into safety and this site offers zero and as the community grows, the owners should grow with that and offer and safety measure especially since they are taking money. It's very easy to gain a perspective of this site just being a racket. Sorry, that's just how I feel and see it.