PSA -- WHISKERS HURT!

ScarletteScarlette
in General

Hello, all of you wonderful cuddlers!!! I just wanted to leave a quick little note here....Whiskers hurt! I LOVE close cheek to cheek cuddling but it really difficult and actually painful when the man has unshaven whiskers. Beards are fine, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the men that just haven't shaved in the last few days or even that day. I have had cuddles where my cheeks are raw and sore when finished. I have the courtesy to have nice, smooth, shaved legs before the cuddle, can you please do the same? I keep a basket in my bathroom full of men's grooming products including, men's bath wash, new razors, shave cream, new tooth brushes, toothpaste and deodorant. I encourage you to use everything that would make our cuddle the best!

Is there anything that you would ask of a cuddle partner (but maybe feel uncomfortable asking) that could make the experience better?

Comments

  • tallteddytallteddy

    Maybe not cuddling cheek to cheek would work?

  • ScarletteScarlette

    That's how it typically ends up working out, unfortunately.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I am of the belief that if you are going to shave then shave, if you are going to have a beard then have a beard, but enough with the stubble, it just makes you look dirty

  • ScarletteScarlette

    @pmvines- and it hurts! I agree with you though about the stubble. When I cuddle, I am freshly showered and shaved (legs), a small touch of make up and hair down and curled. I think asking someone to spend 10 extra minutes to shave so our cuddle can include all positions isn't that much to ask. I totally understand that some people are coming straight from work or somewhere else, which is fine. I would rather them take the time to shower and shave and brush their teeth at my house (not included in our cuddle time) than to have to avoid cuddle positions.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I hear ya @Scarlette, and you should not count stubble injury as a potential work hazard. Fun fact! I have had a beard since I was 19! It has been all various shapes and sizes, but it has been there for 23 yrs now (not counting a brief 6 mo stretch when I was 20 where my boss actually paid me to shave it. I said sure, but I'm growing it back in 6 mo if I don't like it. And I didn't, so back it grew)

  • ScarletteScarlette

    I don't mind beards at all!

  • pmvinespmvines

    They do tend to keep you warm lol. And like how makeup is to a woman, a beard can hide things we aren't too fond of

  • netrunnernetrunner Mod

    Mouthwash.
    Sometimes brushing isn't enough and having a few small travel size mouthwash bottles over a normal or large bottle of the stuff makes people more inclined to use it too when trying to freshen up for a cuddle session. Nothing like being all cuddled up close and talking with someone that has good smelling breath over someone with bad breath.

  • waywardchild80waywardchild80

    I love that you made this thread! Stubble does hurt especially on delicate skin like the face. I always shave my legs and put on lotion before cuddling. The men I have cuddled with so far have been nicely groomed and smelled good thankfully.

  • [Deleted User]Buck1220 (deleted user)

    Sad I was blocked!

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited December 2017

    Yes. I agree. I get that for you it's professional and maybe can be a little different how you approach things, though perhaps letting them know (if it's more then a one time session or you'd like to see each other again). You deserve the best experience as well and in turn you can provide the best. In any case I think it's a kind of a relationship and relationships need that openness and communicating what is good, what isn't and what's working/isn't. I hope this helps some.

    Though yes, a big deal is having good hygiene. That's like number one or two. After that comes personality, common interests and feeling at ease with each other.

  • WilliamDWilliamD

    Ah... the dangers of the five o'clock shadow. So deadly of a rough beast to soft and delicate skin. Hidden be hide soft smooth touch with one stroke but moving back the other way digging it many sandpaper many like claws deeply into flesh.

    Poor ruff beards are so miss understood... just need to be petted in one direction not rub back and forth.

    Reading this makes me feel like guy that shaving being pressured to do it couple time a day. Once going to work and again before meet up later.

    Hearing ladies saying they want only clean cut shaving guy... I always see as some thing to avoid. Sound as if they want anther smooth face girl to cuddle up with to me.

    Personally I am probably rather clean cut though get hair cut every four weeks. And shaving my beard every two weeks. Sense at four to six weeks it get itchy and rather funky if let it get to long... rather evil curly dense beard hair to scrub through.

    I do agree that hygiene is important to talk over... and best stated early so it can be planned for.
    And if there is some thing that bothering you about some one bring it up early, and give them a chance to fix it. Judging book by it cover you may be loosing out on some thing rather interesting.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    This is exactly why I could never cuddle a pro. Scarlette you write that you've left a cuddle session with raw/sore cheeks and that makes me really uncomfortable. I could never cuddle up with someone who for financial reasons didn't bring things up which were hurting them or making them uncomfortable.

    It's really important to me to never cause people to be uncomfortable. I suppose nothing will change because of a single post but really I wish people were not only more open to informing people of how they feel but for people to be more accepting of those feelings so we're not shutting eachother down.

    Normally I wouldn't post something like this but I am going to take my own advice today and say what makes me uncomfortable.

  • LoreleiLorelei

    @JasonCuddles Well... to be honest, I think it depends on the person. Pros and non-pro cuddlers all have the ability to speak up if something bothers them, and I've seen plenty of pros' accounts of being honest with their clients, but on the flip side of that, money is most definitely _ not _ the only reason a person might not voice their complaints.

    Some people might feel speaking up is impolite, or it's hard for them to do, or they feel like they don't want to make a big deal out of something. Or maybe they're just really lonely and "hey, it's free" so they don't want to make a fuss, especially if they worry their partner might badmouth them here afterwards and then they'll be even lonelier. I can understand someone finding it intimidating and difficult.

    The only thing I can really suggest to prevent that is be approachable, honest, build trust over time, invite them to offer their opinions / preferences, try to be understanding, and hope they'll be honest back.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    @Lorelei I understand that money isn't the only factor in this, I just feel that people taking money for cuddles may feel that they have to accept certain things because of the exchange. If you're not taking money you're on equal terms and will likely feel more free to voice your concerns, This is of course just one way of making people feel comfortable enough around you to be themselves. Listening and understanding people is another very important factor. I simply like to keep potential causes of uncomfort to a minimum and money is one of them.

    I also understand that as a pro this may be something you don't want me to feel but it's just how I am.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @JasonCuddles someone who is not being paid to cuddle you is just as likely to not speak up if something is bothering them. It is human nature to not want to upset somebody (well for most people at least)

  • LoreleiLorelei
    edited December 2017

    @JasonCuddles I know being a pro makes me seem biased, but I’m more interested in providing an alternative point of view in the interest of fairness to everyone in the situation... you’re clearly concerned about people not voicing their discomfort to you, which is great, I applaud your compassion, but assuming just because you’re not paying your partner, they’ll automatically feel free to share all their preferences without shyness or social awkwardness or other factors hindering them just doesn’t seem realistic.

    I’m not intending to dissuade you from your preference in cuddling non-pros. You do you. :)

    I only meant to suggest that this is a problem you can and probably will encounter anyway, just for different reasons.

  • ScarletteScarlette

    Seriously??? This thread was simply a about stubble! That's it...no more. It's not about whether or not to hire a pro or not being able to speak up or anything else other than stubble. Not everything needs to be analyze does it? Relax and enjoy your life! Happy hugs!

  • ScarletteScarlette
    edited December 2017

    @Lorelei <3 ... after you are on here for awhile you will get to know who the trolls are. Don't feed the trolls! Lol

  • LoreleiLorelei

    @Scarlette <3 Thank you, and sorry.. ^^; didn’t mean to be a part of hijacking the thread, hehe.

    On another note, I do think it’s great that you provide supplies for clients so they’re able to clean up if needed. =)

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Scarlette Exactly

  • SideonSideon

    If I, as a rarely-clean-shaven man, were to use my face against someone like I was sandpaper... of course the recipient is going to be upset, red, and raw. But since I know my jawline could exfoliate, I don't do that. Self-awareness, guys. And shower and brush your teeth. ;)

  • ErebosErebos

    I usually keep a short beard during winter to keep my face warm. But if I keep not having any luck, I might try shaving and seeing if that helps.

  • calineurcalineur

    Thanks for the reminder. I'm guilty. I've had to apologize because of it. It grows so fast. Plus its easy to miss a spot. I will try to be aware of this in the future. I like to do the cheek-to-cheek thing, as least for a few moments. It has a very intimate feeling to it, and I think that it is a sign that I like the person I'm cuddling with.

  • [Deleted User]curiousgeorge1 (deleted user)

    I have a beard, but I doubt I would feel comfortable cheek to cheek rendering my beard moot.

  • ScarletteScarlette

    @calineur... I agree. There is something very intimate about cheek to cheek. I love when my partner lays on his belly and straddle him with my chest on his back and we are cheek to cheek. It's warm and cuddly. Or on our sides, front to front, arms and legs entwined, cheek to cheek. So comforting.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @calineur - I love forehead touches, cheek-to-cheek nuzzling and face caressing. It's definitely very intimate, but I've never cuddled anyone I didn't like, so for me it's very natural to want to do that.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    Not a fan of bad breath and BO.

    I make sure I'm squeaky clean from head to toe so I can give my cuddler the best experience possible and tantalize as many senses as possible. All I ask in return is basic hygiene.

    It's close quarters for a limited time so it should be as magical as possible. eyes glimmer

  • ScarletteScarlette

    @chococuddles. Bad breath and BO are far worse then whiskers! I keep new toothbrushes with toothpaste and mouthwash with cups in a basket in my bathroom for clients to use. It also has deoderant. I also put a bottle of water and mints on their night stand. It helps

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited February 2018

    Re hygiene I suppose an overnight cuddle could get a bit tricky. I just picture what is in your head when thinking of waking up next to someone for great morning cuddles only to be faced with bad breath, night sweats, the intermittent releasing of gasses as you sleep, the morning run to take your morning pee before you burst, and the crazy clown hair lol. That being said morning cuddles are certainly the best!!

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