@CuddleStella - Almost every guy is here because they're single and are trying to get their touch needs met. It doesn't always mean they're trying to get anything beyond that.
@CuddleStella I concur with @Mike403
Gary wrote: "@European_Amazon You know the secret. Whether your thinking.. I would like, or not like, your projecting that energy into the world and attracting all those things. 😀"
Considering the topic of this thread this bit of mystical, victim-blaming is creepy.
To come from one of the site founders/owners, is MIND BLOWING.
If merely thinking something projected energy into the world...
focuses
Nope, no one was set on fire.
Which is a shame, really... Well, actually, probably for the best.
@CuddleWho the original post is about, among other things, men on this site disrespecting women's boundaries. They're disrespecting the boundaries I've set on my profile and then getting angry at me either right away, because they're over twice my age and I've asked them not to reach out, or after I tell them no. Someone was so angry that I, a 26 year old woman, am not comfortable cuddling with a 54-year-old man that he snapped at me then blocked me, as if my setting a boundary was wrong. I shouldn't have to disclose any personal history to justify why I have a certain boundary and I'm not going to. Issues like this being "common" on this site doesn't make them okay and brushing it off just because it sounds off topic to you is telling. It's people like ^that guy that become the cuddler who gets into a cuddle session and violate boundaries in the way OP was talking about in her original post. The ones that make themselves known that early are at least easier to weed out, I guess, but I imagine Pros have less vetting time before meeting with someone because they need the money.
I'd like to also add that just because a boundary pushing person has positive karma, doesn't mean pros weren't being judicious. I've had a client that didn't even question my boundaries that then severely pushed another cuddler's. Some people see what they interpret as an opening with someone they view as vulnerable and go for it, even if they didn't with someone previously.
Read through so many comments and it’s nice that some are able to voice out My experience so far is that it helps both when the pro is able to put out their rules and their flexibility before or at the start of the session. Platonic is a general term and might have acceptable levels and non acceptable levels. If the Pro makes that clear, 90% of the time people listen. The 10% are always going to be there and they need to be reported and the admin should ban them.. That’s my 2 cents..
I feel I keep encountering the 10% over the 90%
@GoodRightHook Apologies if it came across that way to you, but to clarify I was referencing a comment about positively worded member profiles.
@Lunaari Unfortunately there’sa chance I am assumed that I fall into the 10% category.. when I try to meet with enthusiasts and if 90% women think that way, then we are trashed 😄 for no fault
so who’s to be blamed is one area of concern, what else can I do is another one to think through.. in the end women who encourage men to opt for more and men who try to grab for more, both at fault, stirring controversies unfairly for men who try and stay in check
🤔
I'm NOT AT ALL exaggerating, I have AT LEAST 12 males banned from this site EVERY time I log in. It's very literally sickening. I'm needing PROOF that there IS a reason to still have faith in the male species and it's slim pickins, let me tell ya!
@Lunaari I'm sorry. Maybe you can reach out to some other female pro cuddlers with lots of karma and ask them what their vetting process is? It seems like the vetting process can help a lot!
@great_pillow08 It must be very disheartening to see that, but I'm also glad those bad actors are getting banned. But I don't know if there's anything I can reasonably say or do to prove to a woman that I'm safe if she's convinced that I'm not. I've tried a variety of openers and messages. From the perspective of a guy, it just seems like random luck when a female enthusiast wants to meet up with me. Because I'm messaging them the same way I'd message person Y.
I’m sorry it’s like that ladies
Thank you very much ladies for sharing honest experiences and concerns. I can’t speak for ALL MEN or anybody else but if we get to chance to spend time together or cuddle all boundaries will be respected. I pride myself in being a safe space for many.
It disturbs me that i believe that sometimes many of us men get viewed in the same light as the handsy ones. We do try and be safe and viewed as safe but too often we are lumped in with the others. Not blaming anyone, except the ones trying to get over, just sharing my experience.
I’m so sorry this happened and has happened to so many of you It is a terrible thing that people can’t treat other people with respect!!!! You have so much value!!! I really hope things get better for you!!!
@sunnysideup I had a pro get me into this, I'll ask her. I haven't met in person. I think I'm dealing with more flakes than anything. Maybe they're shy, worried about the experience, or other reasons.
I'm a very open person, but I don't understand the lack of communication. I feel maybe I'm too detailed?
@CuddleStella I agree with @sunnysideup .
@Lunaari : That's because there is no way in hell the number is as low as 10%. If I had to guess, based on what professional cuddlers had told me, I would say at best it's a coin flip. I do not believe you are just having bad luck. I think You are probably having to deal with what the average professional cuddler has to deal with. I'm not excusing that behavior by the way.
@hugo_stieglitz you're probably right, I know my friend who is a pro who got me into this states you just have to be firm. I think it's more disappointing when you don't hear from them after getting as far as booking etc. IDK maybe it is me, I am having success as well.
@GoodRightHook I agree.
I deal with the same thing. At least 50% of clients ask for some type of sexual favor. I am very clear in my rules and boundaries, but they don’t care. Ha! Not to mention the guys that use this as a dating site… it’s gross.
@Lunaari some of these ghosters are professional timewasters: they get a kick out of getting as close to booking as possible and then disappearing.
Some are struggling to cope with the emotional demands of their first cuddle. For some people it's a really big deal, and perhaps too much to deal with.
And some, of course, are just knobheads.
@stdisc0827 I'd like to respond to your comment: "My experience so far is that it helps both when the pro is able to put out their rules and their flexibility before or at the start of the session. Platonic is a general term and might have acceptable levels and non acceptable levels. If the Pro makes that clear, 90% of the time people listen."
Whenever you message a pro, the rules pop up and you're asked to read and agree to the site rules. The site rules ARE the pro rules. There's is no flexibility. Platonic is not just a general term with different acceptable and non acceptable levels. It just means nonsexual. Abide by the site rules of clothed, nonsexual cuddling. 🤷♀️
(As an aside, you mentioned your difficulty finding cuddle buddies on another thread. I thought I would point out that your username begins with std, which might be off-putting.)
I would just like to throw out here that I am definitely interested in people that don’t do anything sexual. I think finding others that want to keep things platonic would lead to amazing friendships and awesome cuddle buddies. I don’t want the person I am cuddling with platonically to ever think I am in it because I am secretly sexualizing them 😖
@Moxytocin I understand the rules and follow them to the core.. however platonic means no sex, is something we all understand too.. but when I mentioned levels in platonic, it just means that.. kissing is not sex for example, but it is something that the woman might like or dislike or don’t mind.. this is something they could make it clear at the start before the session… so there will not be an issue and they don’t have to feel hostile….
Coming to my name, it’s all about how your mind works… If that is how you think, so be it and if someone were to decide to cuddle with me, and chooses not to, i better thank them… as I would prefer to avoid such…. 😄
@stdisc0827 Dude, kissing is not allowed in the site rules. Totally need to go find and read the terms of service, etc.
@stdisc0827 Found it for you:
@stdisc0827 Platonic means no romantic nor sexual behavior from my understanding: kissing, certain types of rubbing, grinding, touching sensitive or restricted areas, verbal requests or sexual innuendos or overtones, trying to physically or verbally lead the cuddle away from the center, and "testing boundaries."
Someone can correct me if I'm wrong. I normally don't kiss friends unless I'm in Italy.
@Moxytocin - Don't bother arguing with these people. Just report them so the mods can monitor their behavior more closely. People who understands the spirit of this website don't argue about the rules. They either follow them or go someplace else.
Could be, I mentioned a a kissing as not sex by itself… as an example.. for something to click and go as planned and satisfactory to all parties, communication is the key.. that’s what I mentioned..
This forum shouldn’t be set up to bash up men.. if that’s the case, it will be very well not going to sell.. it should be about learning by the people who cross the lines and pros should take responsibility and immediately have them banned if men do that and if women give unnecessary leverage they should be reported as well.. this way eventually problem might get reduced..
My 2 cents