@CuddleDuncan - It's silly to judge somebody based on what kind of pet they have. Some people are into dogs, some are into cats, and some are into tarantulas. It doesn't matter.
@Mike403 absolutely right.
[To stop the thread going off topic.] I just did a quick google hunt. Seems that Britain's most notorious serial killers all loved dogs.
For me, the main thing would be asking for an advance payment if they have been here for more than a year and have neither any Karma nor friends. Then I'd worry they are just there to scam.
I'm not surprised mostly males have an issue with a deposit. You guys pay deposit for barbers & many other professional services - this is no different. If you book & waste someone's time, need an excessive amount of rescheduling, or cancel, the Pro absolutely deserves to be compensated for that issue & prevention of booking another potential client.
@Bixi - Which barber charges a deposit? I always paid when the service is completed. The same with my dentist.
As a guy with little to no self-esteem, showing an interest in me, even for just cuddles, makes me suspect a trap of some sort.
@Mike403 the nice ones that aren't great clips, super cuts, or hair cuttery. Actual salons & business owners. A barber was one example. Do better. Paying to reserve your desired time slot isn't a foreign concept or a bad one. I charge my customers deposits on commissions & deposits to reserve items I haven't released yet for my small business.
So if your intentions are good, pay the deposit & don't cry about it or demonize one of the ways professionals/women protect their time or self.
Seems like a lot of males red flags are their own insecurity & anyone that shows them any sort of attention or kindness... So if you want someone to be mean to you or ignore you & why are y'all even on a cuddle site unless your intentions are sinister or you're here to lurk..? That's like going to a party for the food. You serve no purpose here. Maybe address your social & mental issues & insecurities before projecting them on others...
Bixi _@Mike403 the nice ones that aren't great clips, super cuts, or hair cuttery. Actual salons & business owners. A barber was one example. Do better. Paying to reserve your desired time slot isn't a foreign concept or a bad one. _
In all fairness, most men don't use barbers that require deposits/appointments. Most men's barbershops operate entirely on a "show up and wait" basis. The idea of men making an appointment for a haircut, and/or paying a deposit for that, is really alien to the vast majority of men.
I mean, I get your point, but I'm having a hard time thinking of something with a "lost deposit" that men use on a regular basis... maybe airplane tickets, rental cars, and hotel rooms?
@BookishGuy that may very well be, however, insinuating paying someone to guarantee or reserve your time with them is inappropriate or a scam when booking is primarily the way they do their business & is at risk when someone does not show up or becomes problematic is really odd to me.
Luckily my clients/cuddlers on here this far understand how the world functions & are agreeable with MY requirements.
@Bixi - Your argument was that we pay deposits on other professionals services. I was just saying that we actually don't. My dentist doesn't charge a deposit when I book an appointment and I go to a nice dentist.
@Bixi Or maybe men's insecurities come from experience. As for wanting someone to be mean to us, well you seem to have that down with your holier-than-thou attitude. Maybe address your issues before taking them out on others.
@Bixi True -- but, again, unless I'm crazy, the vast majority of the paid cuddling of this site takes place with male clients and female professionals. I'm not sure it's fair to say that's its mostly males having problems with the concept of deposits when most paid cuddling is done by the males? That is, it's less based on their sex and more based on their position in the transaction? (To be fair, I don't know that for a fact, but it's always been presumed to be the case, what with the way the site runs its pro system fees.)
I mean, again, I perfectly understand why a woman who is expecting payment for cuddling would want the deposit system to weed out the bad actors, etc.. I don't participate in the paid cuddling aspect, so it's a bit out of my wheelhouse.
I don't think "a lot" of males' red flags are their own insecurity. A gross and inaccurate generalization. Kinda hard to believe anyone would write or think this. btw, After getting several messages from guys who stopped writing when I said the word platonic, it shook my self-esteem. When I get a new message now, I tend to wonder if I should even bother reading it, tho I do.
It's very uncommon to pay a deposit for a haircut, man or woman. The average person is not going to a salon of that nature. But I would like to once for the experience. I used to call Great Clips "Cheap Cuts" until I started going there cause I could not remember the name. Lol.
I don't blame anyone for being wary of paying a deposit here unless it's a very established pro with a good reputation. We can easily find people in the forum who have been ripped off. It's a minority, but no one wants to be another person it happens to.
Late to the game but a deposit raises a yellow flag for me. Not a deal-breaker but I don't think the female pros on this site realize that it puts them in the category with other women who offer more "intimate" services. I understand the rationale but it is not a good look. Most of the flakes can be screened with an intake form, a phone call, or some form of communication. @achetocuddle said it; a bio specifically mentioning platonic already cut out a lot of bad actors.
Also I do make appointments with my barber but do not pay a deposit. And most professional services that require deposits meet the client FIRST. No money is exchanged until a good or service is agreed upon and a contract is signed. I would do this when I played for weddings.
@BrianL No, several of the male comments have literally said THEIR OWN INSECURITIES - even mention it on their profiles, even accounts made as recent as this week or today, 0 friends or karma, low self-esteem & personal issues with their appearance, etc. You were 1 of many. Nothing mentioned about Professionals aside from them being paranoid about someone speaking to them. If you can't handle direct communication & women make you insecure - seek help with that. I already know you have a complex, so I won't engage with you further. Maybe you're your own reason for poor experiences. 🤷🏻♀️ Also, don't come at me disrespectful because you feel triggered by a comment I made respectfully & not directly made to you. Your attitude is unhinged. You need not address me or view me repeatedly. Not interested whatsoever.
@achetocuddle I'm not making a generalization - I'm responding exactly to what has been said here & speaking on the function of this site & the validity of asking for a deposit if that's how you require your business here be done. If you're seeking to gain brownie points by virtue signaling, addressing me specifically for things many others here in this thread have also stated - know it looks rather disparaging & desperate... 😮💨 I was speaking on male insecurities males mentioned, not the female insecurities. However, if your red flag is someone ceasing & desisting contact after you emphasize platonic - by all means, that's your prerogative & exactly what you should do & as well as report so that sort of person isn't here to abuse the cuddle privileges. You dodged a bullet. Not sure how that's relevant to me, though... As I previously said, it's not uncommon if you frequent nicer salons or directly book with cosmetology masters / business owners. Also, barber/stylist was just one example given. There are many examples of reservation based booking & deposit led transactions. Car rental, copay where you are post service reimbursed, pre release reserve, etc. In the same way, a Professional can be ripped off - hence the requirement of a deposit. But I don't pressure, it's just reiterated in my bio so people are clear with my booking procedures.
@Mike403 Just because you don't like or specifically do something doesn't make that the rule or standard. As I said above & before in this thread, barber/stylist was just one example given. There are many examples of reservation based booking & deposit led transactions. Car rental, copay where you do make your payment prior to your appointment & ARE post service reimbursed or it's applied to your total, pre release reserve, commissions, etc.
@BookishGuy I cuddle everyone - I've had female, nonbinary, genderqueer, & male clients prior to using this site & interactions with all the above while here. I will say majority of the cuddlers are male & majority of them are questionable characters not actually looking for a platonic service & need to move on to an escort service honestly.😅 However, since it's mostly males complaining about deposits & I have experience with both & others, I think it's perfectly acceptable to voice an opinion on it that the many females commenting on this thread have the equal opportunity to address if that was cause for concern. There are a good amount of female cuddlers on here also. I haven't had an issue with my deposit requirements with female or otherkin cuddlers thus far. I think they just "get it" There's perhaps something very telling about the abundance of males seeking cuddles on this site, but the disproportion overall doesn't really discredit the deposit dynamic thing, I don't believe. It definitely amplifies the male issue with it. lol I absolutely DO word my profile & list my requirements the way I do to weed out the potentially problematic people & people that do not respect others or boundaries. I'm what's considered "high functioning" neurodivergent & a smaller statured female - most assume I'm easy to take advantage of or sway, but quickly find out I'm neither mentally disadvantaged or going to be willed into anything I'm not comfortable with. I'm also very busy & not to be toyed with - so I will always protect my time & make sure whatever I do is compensated, as a business woman & business owner.
I'm big on respect, reciprocity, & safety. Main take away is if your intentions as a cuddler are pure & the Professional is platonic & has positive karma, a deposit shouldn't offend you. Someone protecting their self & their time is not a bad thing or a direct attack upon your personhood. You're not obligated book with them just like they're not obligated to waste their time or cuddle you for free.
As a small business owner of a few sorts, I used to rewrite resumes as one of my areas. I charged way below market price and eventually required a deposit of half the amount before I rewrote their first draft - the times I hadn't people either flaked out, changed their mind after 3+ hours of work was put in, or an acquaintance "used me" for free feedback (he also ended up using none of the advice and devalued it - bc it did not cost him anything and he leveraged our personal relationship for free services).
So this kinda thing does exist - what happens when you flake out of a doctor or dentist's appt inside of 24 hours of the appt? You get charged.
I understand pples reluctance to put in a deposit, but I also think it's related to your devaluing them as a professional as opposed to their pulling a scam (apparently it's pretty hard to get a pro status -and some pple take it more seriously than others ...chase the karma and let new pros try their hand w someone else then).
@Bixi - Car rental companies require a credit card on file in case you damage their car. Poor example. Doctors that require a copayment only has me pay it when I visit them on the appointment time. Never when making the appointment.
@Bixi - Bottom line, you can do what you want. Nobody is telling you how to do business on here. I'm just addressing the assumption that men pay deposits for other professional services which is not true. Maybe if it was something major like if they were having a contractor come to work build something on their house.
@marcustanaka No, I did not say putting platonic in profile/bio weeds out a lot of bad people. Au contraire, that has not seemed to help much, if any. And that is not what I said or meant. I said when saying platonic when the people messaged me, they often stopped messaging. I can't have anyone thinking I said something that I disagree with and do not promote. Thank you kindly
@Bixi I dislike virtue signaling and would never do it. I was just speaking from reading profiles and not seeing a large minority that expressed self-esteem issues. Possibly my own personal experience IRL and limited experience and time here has caused me to think something that is not true or accurate. You said some rather uncharitable and telling things in your posts. I appreciate that you don't mind saying what you think. I have always liked that quality.
@cylee1180 - I had to get my teeth fixed at the dentist a year ago. It was a few grand after insurance and they didn't charge me one cent until the work was done for the day (then I was charged for that day at the end). Obviously, a pro cuddler needs to collect the money first in case boundaries are pushed, she can get up and leave... but it just feels good knowing that I'm not gonna get scammed.
@BrianL Not that it matters what I think, but I did not see anything out of line with your posts here. I'm not sure how anything that has been said here has garnered such an out-of-proportion response. It is close to my bedtime and I am tired, but I don't think that explains it. I continue to enjoy your posts.
@marcustanaka hotels do not meet with you before requiring your deposit or payment in advance.
Also, insinuating requiring a payment as a personal contractor gives off escort vibes, which male Pros also do here, is MAYBE exemplary of your mind set/intentions & rather sexist/misogynistic.
@Bixi - That is true for some types of things. When I want to go to a concert, I don't request to meet the band before I buy a ticket.
@cylee1180 I'm also a small business owner, have offered scribe services, & am a commissioned artist. You hit it right on the head.
"I understand pples reluctance to put in a deposit, but I also think it's related to your devaluing them as a professional as opposed to their pulling a scam (apparently it's pretty hard to get a pro status -and some pple take it more seriously than others ...chase the karma and let new pros try their hand w someone else then)." THIS. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@Mike403 your card is on record here. My examples stand, there's nothing poor about it.
People absolutely DO pay deposits for other services. Again, just because YOU are not familiar with it due to your means or lifestyle does NOT mean it's not a world function.
You understand the general concept of being charged for a cancelation at your health care provider, rental service, private barber, or hotel - so please either educate yourself or accept actual information given to you that's easily accessible for more information by Google.
We as Professionals are independent contractors. You may want to correct yourself. Instead of being contrarian & badly trying to discredit what I say when it is easily resolved through your self education, focus on things that DO require deposits & are valid, & stop diminishing Professionals here.
List of some deposit based services: Private business Personal & Independent contractors Small business owners Artists Hotels Airbnb Bed & Breakfast Professional Cuddlers Licensed Therapists Wedding Planners Stylists Ordained Ministers Restaurants Events
& THEY DO NOT ALL REQUIRE PRIOR MEETINGS.
@achetocuddle I also did not personally address anyone when I spoke my mind & voiced my opinions respectfully & intellectually. If someone that has admitted they have shortcomings or personal issues took offense to it & became unhinged & disrespectful DIRECTLY TO ME, I absolutely will not mince words or diminish myself so someone can feel more comfortable when they are irrational, contradictory, or hypocritical. Pleasant night.
@Bixi - Yes, just as pro cuddlers have the right to charge a cancellation fee. That's very different than charging a deposit at the time the appointment was made. If I made an appointment at a healthcare clinic then cancel and refuse to pay the cancellation fee, they are not going to be able to come after me. They don't have my payment info on file.
I don't—all right, hang on.
A red flag is an indicator of likely danger, right? The danger of being physically attacked, or of having your money or labor stolen... things like that, right? While a yellow flag only indicates possible danger: "proceed with caution" rather than "stop."
• Paying a deposit up front does make it possible for the one being paid to take the money and run.
• Refusing to pay until after the cuddle does make it possible for the one being cuddled to take the cuddle and run.
Obviously flags will go up in both cases, because the possibility of harm exists in both cases. But surely they're yellow flags, not red!
@Mike403 okay, common sense moment... The cancellation fee COMES FROM THE DEPOSIT. Goodbye.