The impact going without had on me throughout my life, and knowing the impact gaining it can have, are 100% why I am here and do what I do, and in the way that I do it.
You're getting too hung up on the life and death thing. It's an analogy.
When someone has an abundance of a basic human need, getting more of that thing isn't necessarily therapeutic.
However, if someone is lacking in that area, then getting more of that thing is therapeutic.
@Mike403 - I understand where you are coming from but there is a difference between “surviving” and “thriving”. Can a person live without touch? Sure, there are prisoners who have been held in solidarity confinement for months at a time before and they stayed alive but I suspect they were never quite the same after such an experience. I agree 100% with @ubergigglefritz about the need for touch to truly thrive.
@JohnR1972 there is one episode of I Am a Killer (S1E1) that is a truly beautiful example of the impact connection has on us. 💜
@Mike403 they have cancer patients learning how to laugh at NYP hospital to help alleviate their symptoms and pain. Cuddling isn't that far off.
I’ve been reading research on the placebo effect for about 10 years. Every time I think I understand it I realize I don’t. Let’s put it this way: it’s overrated, poorly understood, inaccurately portrayed in the lay press, and debated even by researchers, many of whom have reason to doubt it actually exists.
One thing we do know is that people may say they feel better when they are given an inert treatment that they are told is therapeutic but that does not mean that they are better. The “placebo effect” has not been shown to have a beneficial effect on actual medical conditions. Example: a study with people with asthma gave half the group real inhalers and half the group fake inhalers. Both groups said they felt better but only the ones with real inhalers showed improved respiratory function. You can die from asthma. You really do not want fake medicine if you have a serious medical condition. Placebo effects usually only modulate pain, nausea, and general feelings of malaise, all of which are easily affected by psychological circumstances.
A lot of what is attributed as a placebo effect isn’t. The natural progression of a condition, regression to the mean, investigator bias, the subject telling the investigator what they think they want to hear (may not be conscious), the passage of time, and pure coincidence can all appear to be a placebo effect. Example: Suppose you recruit 100 people with low back pain for a study. And then you wait three months, doing absolutely nothing during those three months. There’s a good chance that during that about 30% will see a reduction or resolution of their pain just because that’s the nature of low back pain. If you gave those 100 people a pink marshmallow and told them it reduced back pain, can you attribute that reduction to a placebo effect? No. Just receiving attention can make people feel better.
As for immune systems being “strengthened” . . . I don’t think any medical researcher would use that description except, perhaps, in reference to immunizations. The immune system is incredibly complex and the idea of it being made “stronger” doesn’t reflect reality. What does that even mean? Allergic reactions are evidence of a “strong” immune response but no one thinks that’s desirable. What one wants is a normal immune response, not a “strengthened” one.
We do know that sustained levels of stress can make us more prone to infection and turn up the volume on many other conditions. ANYTHING that soothes, calms, returns us to a more relaxed state helps. That varies by the individual. Some get it through meditation or exercise or hobbies or physical contact or social interaction or . . . So yes, cuddling can do that for some folks and that’s a good thing but it’s not like it’s better or worse than other stress-reducing activities. I cringe when people make specific claims about cuddling or anything else, including massage, which is my profession. My position is that the client cannot give informed consent if they are not being given accurate information. I would caution pro cuddlers to be responsible about making specific claims. It’s not necessary. When was the last time someone said they wanted to cuddle to boost their immune system? People do it because it makes them feel good. Personally, I think that’s good enough.
I think if one is cuddling to try to manage the symptoms of depression, social anxiety, anything of that nature, one needs to proceed with caution. Cuddling is not a substitute for appropriate therapy and could backfire. If one has a bad cuddling experience, it could be detrimental to someone in an already fragile emotional state. Pro cuddlers are not therapists. We already see people who become distressed because someone they messaged for cuddling blocked them or did not respond in a way they wanted. People need to take responsibility for themselves and be prepared for the fact that they are not interacting with a trained health care provider. That being said, a good cuddling experience certainly can help soothe and calm.
Other primates spend about 30% of their awake time engaging in social grooming or sitting close to each other. We’re biologically wired to respond to touch. We know that. For me, it’s enough to say it makes me feel good and boosts my mood and that helps me be more effective in the rest of my life.
I don’t know if anyone even cares about all this but since these subjects come up and they are areas where I’ve spent a lot of time reading research and discussing it with researchers, physical therapists, and related professionals, I feel compelled to put in my two cents for whatever it’s worth.
@Opulence - Yes, but it's not actually curing their cancer. I mentioned the placebo effect earlier in this thread where certain things can make them feel better.
@Babichev - I was reading about a scammer who sold a fake cancer cure and people who bought it swore that they were cured... but they weren't. They died of cancer anyway.
@Babichev even if we make zero claims, a bad cuddling professional can cause extreme harm to those seeking it. I know you weren't saying otherwise, I just wanted to point out that the importance of finding a good professional is just as important if you think you are merely looking to "feel good" (which I have found, more often than not, only actually scratches the surface for what people are needing in a session) as if you are seeking more therapeutic support. 💜
@ubergigglefritz - A therapist is better trained(in most cases) to provide support. It's dangerous to let people think that a pro cuddler is a substitution if they are suffering from things such as depression.
@Mike403 absolutely not a substitute. A trained cuddler can supplement. I have worked in triad with a social worker and I know quite a many cuddlers (NOT on this site, there are better places to find adequately trained cuddlers) who have worked in triad with different types of therapists. It's not dangerous to seek a cuddler for assistance with your therapy. What is dangerous is seeing random women thinking cuddling alone will help, not checking for qualifications and experience, and not understanding the severe harm that can be done in seeing most pros that currently exist in this country. I am always honest about where my experience and knowledge lies and ends, but there are definitely cuddlers who have the educational background, in addition to the self awareness to not go beyond their own skills, and the ability to work with a therapist, to bridge the gap between what a therapist can offer and what we can. I understand what you are saying, and what I am saying is true also.
Well, it doesn't get mentioned much on forums, but I think a benefit of cuddling is making friends. I can't even begin to mention all the wonderful friends here that I have personally met and so many more I am trying to meet. Not enough hours in the day 🤗
@OhioMike absolutely!! 💜
Having camping trip plans scrapped because of Covid I am making the most of isolation time with a cuddle buddy.
We are feeling fine and spending time at home I have dusted off the pots and pans and done some cooking.
Tomorrow I have my eye on trying to bake a French apple pie he hasn't had in over 50 years.
We found a recipe on line and I can get any ingredients I don't already have ordered from Kroger.
I think if I had to sit through isolation days alone I would bounce off the walls.
@KYtransplant so sorry to hear about you and your awesome cuddle buddy. On the bright side I think if you’re going to get Covid , you guys are blessed in how you have to deal with it 😊. Hoping it passes soon!!
@Opulence with all due respect, even insinuating that cuddling might or might not be linked to alleviation of cancer symptoms is irresponsible at least, and dangerous at most . Please dont turn something I genuinely enjoy and advocate for into snake oil.
@achetocuddle That's cool. Although having someone wrapped around your body covers more Sq inches. Lol. It's a good experiment purely for touch or massage, but I very much prefer a more active type of physical touch .
I still think there's an indirect and holistic connection to health ; the opposite is true: the isolation from covid had facilitated higher rates of substance abuse, and my Chinese doctor said most of his patients are in a state of emergency since covid (vs. 25% beforehand). Solitary confinement also has very negative affects on people.
Bc scientists haven't used a controlled test w isolated variables doesn't mean there are no direct or indirect correlations w health imo. I mean, they're starting to discover more benefits of yoga, and that exercise is thousands of years old.