@ubergigglefritz I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said. I’ve just seen too much and I’m well aware of the machinations behind the scenes that are clearly illegal. I’m also well aware that laws have made SWorkers more vulnerable than anything
@peacefulcuddler - People seem to think it's only men who cross boundaries for some reason. What I picked up in another thread is that consent for a certain cuddle position can be withdrawn at any time without letting the other person know and if neither one confirms the consent is still there, it's the man who is guilty.
@Mike403 ...but why is it that men are afraid to trust others and be vulnerable? /s
@zerocantaloupe - Men mostly have to worry about being falsely accused which will have a big ramification on their life and may even cost them their careers.
@Mike403 I know...the /s was supposed to signify sarcasm.
@DaringSprinter I didn't say "your list". I said "those lists".
Also, people saying "Millennials are this old to this old" is exactly what I'm talking about. When people use labels, assumptions automatically go along with them, and there are no set borders between where people associate themselves with. It's just a pet peeve of mine. People are always calling me a millennial, my sister a gen x (according to the list you quoted), when I'm only 2.5 years younger than her. Our environment growing up and how we were raised, and thus our childhood experiences and resulting general personality traits, aren't that much different to be associated with two different groups of stereotypes. The labels are way too closely associated with assumptions about personality to disconnect them from that as you're trying to do, and solely use the labels for ages. For most people, if you say someone is a millennial, they go to thinking about traits, not ages. 🤷♀️
I would like to say false allegations make up 0.62 per cent of all rape cases. it’s really not something men need to be scared of unless they are doing things that could enact that. Men are more likely to be raped than to be accused of rape..
@Sheena123 - It happens enough that it makes me question allegations. Neil deGrasse Tyson was accused of sexual misconduct. I really respect him as a scientist and it's hard for me to believe that he would do what he was accused of.
@Mike403 but it doesn’t happen enough. Based on Statistics, it barely happens at all. Men are more likely to be actually physically or sexually harmed by a man or a woman. Being falsely accused is such an incredibly small number. If it’s something a man is afraid of even though statistically, it barely happens, then that man needs to question themselves and wonder what they are doing that would make them scared of being falsely accused. It really and truly does not happen enough for men to constantly worry about it.
Now, men being touched inappropriately by all genders during a cuddle is something that happens enough for it to be a worry.
I think celebrities are more likely to be accused of something because they have money. The perfect example is Michael Jackson. He never abducted kids. The parents gave them to him. If they really believed that MJ was molesting children, why would the parents constantly allow them to stay at his house?
Are we really defending Michael Jackson now? I think the ship sailed on that one.
@dave31415 - Who else should I use as an example? He's the only one I can think of that has evidence defending his allegations against him.
I think we should use real life people with real life issues and the statistics that coincide with that as opposed to celebrities being falsely accused so people can have money. Are you a celebrity or have millions of dollars? No? I think you’re safe then…
@Sheena123 I know someone who was falsely accused. It happens with real people. It's part of the reason for professional cuddlers. Men (as a category) have no safe space to get their needs met. Men = gay, women = perv, kids = pedophile. Without getting those needs met, many end up resorting to violence. Men aren't evil. Our society doesn't give them a very fair shot. (Obviously there are exceptions and many men are fine, but it IS a perpetual issue that needs to be addressed).
I don’t know that there are any firm statistics on false accusations of rape. Much of the time, there is no definitive proof of who was telling the truth. But even if it’s one percent of accusations (on average), there are a lot of accusations and so a lot of these as well. It’s a genuine concern for any man so one shouldn’t belittle it. The more famous and wealthy you become, the greater the incentive for someone to try to defraud you out of money. And even if fraud is not a motive, there are unstable people with a skewed lens on reality and also cases of failed communication. I think most people have some example in their life of someone inexplicably accusing them of something that makes zero sense. Might be something unimportant. Hopefully, it’s not rape. But it shows you how people can see the same situation very differently as if they were not even the same event. So these events might be rare but they do happen and they can be devastating for someone falsely accused even if they aren’t convicted.
P.s. In the Wikipedia article on False Accusation of Rape, they list like 20 studies/reports on the topic and the false accusation rate varies between 1.5% to 90%. I’m sure some of these studies are more definitive than others. But they give you the impression that the number might in the range 4-8%, not less than one percent. I’m sure context has a huge impact such that an average is simply not that informative.
@dave31415 why wouldn't we defend Michael Jackson? The only people who claim to have been 'abused' by him admitted they were lying to profit from his fortune. Numerous people stood up for him and said that he never did anything wrong. He was a child trapped in a man's body due to decades of abuse at the hands of his father- he was forced into fame at FIVE years old, his childhood was stolen from him - of course he would have found it easier to be around kids, they didn't let him down or abuse him like adults in his life did.
Unless you have actual, legitimate PROOF of something I suggest you don't turn victims of abuse into scapegoats or pariahs for your own warped agenda.
Sometimes 1 is enough, no need to argue rates. One rape is too many, one false accusation is too many, one more person defending a point using rape statistics two too many.
@Mike403 There are better examples than Michael Jackson. For example Dominique Strauss-Kahn, President on the IMF and politician. He lost his job and his career was basically ruined by a case of false accusation when visiting New York. The case was dropped when it became clear the woman had zero credibility (had previously made false accusations and discussed the plan with boyfriend ahead of time) but he didn’t get his job back or become President of France.
I’m definitely not belittling it. I have a very close friend that was falsely accused, but even through that, I know it doesn’t happen enough to have men worry about it as much as they do, especially in the middle of a thread that’s about women being sexually harassed (which is a much higher statistic). This is always the problem: in a thread or video discussing what women go through and the abuse they constantly face on this site and in real life, there’s always someone that comes along to say “men get raped too, men have worries too, men get falsely accused.” It details the actual conversation happening and invalidates the reason the thread is created.
A lot of people jump on me and say I belittle mens issues and I’d like to say that I don’t do that. Roll your eyes all you want, but I’m tired of threads bringing up topics of women being raped or constantly being propositioned by men or being sexually harassed, and have the whole thread be turned into a pity party of men. I would care a whole lot more about men and their issues if they actually created posts and videos about their issues instead of commenting on these threads designed for women to come together and get support from other women and feminine presented people.
If I see a woman commandeering a video or post about mens issues and belittle what they go through, I would say something. But I literally only see men take over threads and videos on this site and other social media and completely invalidate womens issues by saying men experience the same issues. No you don’t…
There are actual statistics for men being falsely accused. All you have to do is look it up. Out of 100 men, based on factual not-made-up statistics, less than 1% gets falsely accused. Out of 100 women, 60% actually get raped or sexually assaulted.
I’m tired of men saying their issues are equal and take over every single thread about women and their issues.
For all the people that message me privately thanking me for fighting this fight, I’m sorry to say this but I’m done. Womens issues will always be overtaken by men and their problems. We aren’t allowed to have a safe space, we aren’t allowed to leave our homes without getting harassed and we aren’t even allowed to have bodily autonomy within our government anymore… women aren’t welcomed unless we are here to provide sex and babies… I’m sorry for those that appreciated my long ass arguments trying to fight for women. I just can’t do it anymore…there are just way too many men (and some women) that don’t see the real issues women face… I’m just done….
I'm perfectly happy to pick up the baton on this one, the fight clearly isn't even close to being over, and I'm mad as hell about it.
The patriarchy and toxic masculinity are bad for EVERYONE, and it's crazy that men don't realise that they could be fighting ALONGSIDE women instead of against them. It literally feels like a gender war when the real blame lies with systemic sexism. Open your fucking eyes, be decent to each other with no expectations of what it will get you, stop buying into the bullshit society has been feeding you. Most of all, just accept that sometimes you ARE wrong and misinformed and let people who know better, teach you better without your ego getting in the way!
It's not hard, people.
@Sheena123 Threads that get this long change topics many times. That’s pretty standard for long threads. I don’t have any agenda here. Just responding to your comment that men being falsely accused isn’t a big deal. It’s a huge deal for men. That in no way invalidates the problem of sexual violence toward women.
@DeadGirlWalking I don’t have a warped agenda regarding Michael Jackson. I loved Michael Jackson as a kid. I’m not an expert on the facts of his cases. It’s just my perception that the public has mostly decided that many of the accusations are credible. Or about as much as the situation with Bill Cosby. That’s why I think he shouldn’t be the best example of the falsely accused. There are plenty of cases where the facts are more clear.
@dave31415 - It helps to know who he is first.
@Sheena123 I appreciate you and It's completely valid to nope out at this point. I feel like you articulated this really well this time and the last time I saw you step up when a thread about women being sexually assaulted was hijacked. I'll say I'm also tired of this happening.
@Sheena123 - I agree wth @dave31415. A 300+ comment thread is gonna evolve at some point. It doesn't mean it's intentionally being hijacked or men are invalidating the concerns of women.
It doesn't mean it HAS to be hijacked, or that men are invalidating the concerns of women, but, oh look, that's EXACTLY what has happened.
Again.
We were even discussing Michael Jackson briefly.
@DeadGirlWalking - Who is invalidating the concerns of women? I dont believe that anyone said of implied that their risks don't matter. I specifically just made an innocent comment that "men just have to worry about getting falsely accused". Even though it has nothing to do with sexual assault on women, it was kinda related to the topic in way if you know what I mean.
If Johnny Depp vs Amanda Heard thought me something was that… get a better lawyer
The title of the thread implies there are no good men.