What makes for a great cuddle (and great karma to follow)?

RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
edited August 2022 in General

I started to respond to other threads titled "what kills a good cuddle" and "a lot of karma use too many general adjectives" but I soon realized most of my cuddle sessions have been good ones, with only a couple of bad experiences. Since a good session and good karma are usually correlated, I thought it might be worth starting a thread to talk about the things which make a cuddle session great (and one for which the end result is great karma!)

What kind of session will prompt you to leave great and intentionally worded karma?

I admit I haven't been great about karma. Sometimes, if I am having a good session with a pro, I do ask what sorts of things they would like me to address which they would like people to know. Typically a pro will point out the extra touches they add to the session or the effort they put in behind the scenes to make a great session. For example, I have a pro who always writes a personalized welcome message on a chalkboard in the changing area so her client can see it the first thing as they are changing into their cuddle clothes - that is a really nice touch I would certainly point out in a review.
However, what makes her sessions great isn't because the pro follows a checklist to do these things - they come naturally to her because she is focused on providing an atmosphere of loving presence to the client.

This was in stark contrast to the very first cuddle session I had with a pro - I only booked an hour because it was new to me and I didn't know what to expect. This particular pro stated clearly on her profile that she does a 15-minute screening call for all new clients before the first session, and that time is not charged. Once we confirmed a session time she immediately responded that she was busy and so would go over the screening questions before the session after I arrive. The day before the session she sent me an email reminder about the session time, and said to only arrive at the stated time as that would be when she would open the door - and if I were to arrive a few minutes early, I should either wait in my car or take a walk around the block until the session time. That bit was fine. I arrive, it takes me about 5 minutes to change and use the restroom, and we start the screening questions - which took a full 20 minutes. She takes a picture of my ID and texts it away to her safety contact, then reminds me that we only had an hour session so we have 35 minutes, she will set an alarm at the 30-minute mark so we know to start wrapping up. This pro probably deserved a bad review, but my normal response to such a session is to leave no review at all. Of course, I never booked that pro again, which was great, it gave me an opportunity to keep searching and I met the first pro I described, who was (and is) just fantastic.

If the session is mediocre, such as I feel the pro is just there obviously waiting for the clock to run out, I usually don't ask those questions, and then I would leave generic karma, or no karma at all.

The only one time I'd leave bad karma is if a pro outright lied or scammed me. That has happened to me, but it's not what I want to talk about in this thread.

Almost all my individual sessions are with pros, so forgive me for the pro-client session bias here. The discussion applies equally to enthusiasts and pro cuddles, only that I am talking about my own session experiences, those are mostly with pros.

Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @CuddlesByDeep I debated posting my thoughts on this because I am getting away from the forums for a variety of reasons but I had to on this because I do feel strongly about “honest” karma.

    I do ask what sorts of things they would like me to address which they would like people to know.

    I disagree with this. The only things I ever ask about karma from a cuddle partner are does she want her first name kept private and the other is if I can leave karma. That’s it. I am not going to write what she wants to hear but what I thought about the session. I can always find a unique trait or action to personalize her karma. I do admit that, like you, I am reluctant to leave bad karma.

    But really, I try to go with my gut reaction and write a rough draft that I will come back to a few hours later or the next day. Usually my gut is spot on. I try to include details such as her smile, or her patience listening to my stories, or something she showed me that was entirely new to me in the way of cuddling. Everyone is unique so there is always something To point out. But more than anything, I write about my mental and emotional reaction to her cuddles and try to convey them as best and honestly as I can.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited August 2022

    You are right @FunCartel that karma should be "honest." If I ask a pro what they would like, I have already decided that I'm planning to leave positive karma. I ask the questions because I honestly want to know the kind of effort they put in in the background which I just may not know about. Also often times the question isn't something like "hey, what would you like me to talk about in the karma I write," but something like "what do you do to become an even better pro?" In some cases, it is the obvious things that I can see, like the thought put into the room ambiance, the choice of music, the personal touches, etc, but in other cases, I find out something which isn't clearly obvious. Like I might find they volunteer time holding hands at a local hospice. Or I might learn that they offer a sliding scale to accommodate those who aren't as financially able but need cuddles all the same. Some of these things may not get a direct mention in a review, but they certainly affect the passion and intention I put into writing it.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    I’m gonna keep this brief:) What makes the best cuddles is when a man has his own boundaries, instead of just saying that I’ll respect yours. Because if you don’t have good boundaries they’ll surely push the line. So when a man has his own boundaries, from there it’s just bliss!!

    You were one of my all-time favorite Cuddles Mr.@CuddlesByDeep. One nice thing about your Cuddles is I didn’t feel rushed. The other thing is I felt like I knew you and I don’t know how you can make that happen other than just being kind and thoughtful. It was nice to be honored as a professional too, Asking for my input. Great Cuddles is when you think about them over and over. I just love the way that you made me feel loved💛

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @KozyKim You cuddled @CuddlesByDeep. Lucky you :)

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited August 2022

    Basically, the opposite of the other thread makes for a great cuddle.

    I’ll generally leave a 5 star review for any cuddler that was respectful. For those that went above and beyond I’ll try to show that in the review.

    If it gets to a point where it’s less than great karma, I’ll probably just not leave a review. If it was really negative, then they probably did something report worthy and I’ll report + 1 star review them.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited August 2022

    @KozyKim those are such kind words. I'm so humbled, thank you. Yes our time together was just amazing. And you are such a wonderful pro.

    @achetocuddle That is so sweet! Thank you.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @achetocuddle …I know, right;)

    @CuddlesByDeep thanks friend

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    Listening and attentiveness and consideration.

  • danwoodzdanwoodz

    My favorite cuddle experiences have been low key and go with the flow. It's a blend of meeting each other's needs. It begins with a welcome hug like an old friend and ends with a friendly goodbye.

    One cuddler, a pro, brewed us a pot of coffee and asked what I'd like in it. Such a seemingly small gesture went a long way with me. It set the tone for a wonderful experience.

    The obvious traits make for a great session. Effective communication, timeliness, a focus on the session.

    Good hygiene isn't difficult to achieve. Neutral to faint scents are best. I understand women like to smell good. If I am hosting, I shower immediately before the session and of course wear clean clothing for the session. Usually, a t-shirt and shorts. I have worn PJ pants for a PJ party themed cuddle.

    Using an indoor voice during a session is best. It promotes closeness and doesn't hurt the ears.

    Weed. While I don't use it, I have no issue with someone else using it. In fact, if the person is a regular user (e.g., reduces anxiety) I actually encourage them to do so before the session. Vaping it is the preferred use. Smoking it stinks.

    One young woman consumed edibles before our session. (I did not know she planned to do so.). Eating it must give a more intense high than smoking it. She couldn't stop giggling. It got annoying and I ended the session early. She giggled all the way out the door.

    The red flags for me include:
    --An excessive amount of rules.
    --Requiring a photo of personal identification texted prior to the session.
    --Requiring a deposit via cash app before a session.
    --Not accepting cash as payment. (Who doesn't accept cash?)
    --Her hourly rate is unusually high.
    --The cuddle rate is low but the travel fees double the cost of the session.
    --Offering "extras" for a price. (Clearly, she was on the wrong site, and has since been banned.)

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